I feel like sometimes Im the only person on this earth who cant get over things. Its been over a year since my ex bf and I broke up. I have kicked him out of my life, kicked his family out of my life, I have brought them back in, I have tried with friendship, I have dont everything that I can think of.
I hadnt seen the ex bf in awhile, since August......a few weeks ago he tells me, he cant get over me and he still loves me, mind you hes engaged. I know hes settling cause he dont want to be alone, but anyways, that day I had my wall up and was on my best behaviour. The yesterday my car was over heating, I was low on fluids, and I went to see him (hes a mechanic, always has taken care of my car) and my guard was down. I hugged him for so long that I was apologizing to him for hugging him. He told me that he will always love me, but the reason why he left is because I always told him, he wasnt the one, (WHICH ITS TRUE....ITS JUST GUT FEELING, HES NOT, I never been at peace with it). I know I will never be with him, but I think about him all the time. I think about the past all the time, and Im not even interested in dating or even hanging out with the opposite sex. I miss him......I dont want to get used to someone else. Hes the second guy I was ever with.....the first one, was my husband of 11 years. I had two breakups last year, the only 2 I ever had in my life and Ive been single since.
I know God has someone for me, I really do know that, and I wait.....I am just scared that Im not going to be able to give my all into the next relationship if Im stuck on this guy. I hate it....I feel like he has some kind of power over me and everyone just says, Time will help it. Really? its been a freaking year. It dosent help when I do see him or hear from him how all my emotions come stirring up. I just feel like NO ONE understands or thinks Im crazy, which Im starting to believe that. Im totally past my ex husband, so I dont understand why I cant stop thinking about this guy?
How did any of you get over your past relationships? Has any of you ever been in this situation, where it was hard to move forward? and if you did, what did you do? I need help and encouragement please ladies!!!!