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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

People without autistic children..

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shoud shut the hell up with how to raise them better.  Unless you are a parent with an autistic child, you're clueless.

by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Replies (341-350):
mamabear55
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:06 PM

Yes that is correct. No one knows your child.

Quoting Bethsunshine:

So following your logic, parents of autistic children aren't allowed to offer advice to parents of neurotypical children then, right?

Personally, unless I ASK for advice, I don't appreciate unsolicited advice from anyone with regards to my parenting skills.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Idk. My brother lives with us and he is autistic. He is morbidly obese, he gets everything he wants. My parents very literally give him everything to keep him seen and not heard. If he screams, give him anything, kicks, give him anything, throws a chair at a teacher at school, gve him a treat. Etc. His new thing is getting in your face and screaming "I have autism, I can do whatever I want". He's 11 and not potty trained at all! I am SURE I could parent him better.
mamabear55
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:13 PM

There are those cases, but even in that situation, saying something would probably have no effect

Quoting Anonymous:

Idk. My brother lives with us and he is autistic. He is morbidly obese, he gets everything he wants. My parents very literally give him everything to keep him seen and not heard. If he screams, give him anything, kicks, give him anything, throws a chair at a teacher at school, gve him a treat. Etc. His new thing is getting in your face and screaming "I have autism, I can do whatever I want". He's 11 and not potty trained at all! I am SURE I could parent him better.


Bethsunshine
by Emerald Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting mamabear55:


Then maybe you should edit your post to reflect that, instead of sounding like you expect special treatment because you have an autistic child. EVERY child is different and each child has their own set of challenges.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 48 on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:40 PM
this broke my heart.I have a child with autism and I could not imagine.someone doing this


Quoting Anonymous:

I would say leave the parent alone. In most cases we are doing everything we can. In most cases we already have a whole team who is devoted to help us, we don't need a stranger to tell us what we probably know.


I have a  friend who's son was with his developmental therapist (dt) at a store this week. He is 10, and he's a big boy. He started to get over stimulated and have a melt down. As his dt was helping him calm down so they could leave a health and welfare worker (he had never met my friend's son, he apparently just knows how to help people with autism) came over and proceeded to tell the dt what to do. He then grabbed this boy by the arm, which set him off. He doesn't like to be touched, and he's not very verbal. When the dt finally got him outside he was extremely aggravated and punched his dt, the cops showed up at that point (some anonymousperson called them inside the store after the dt went off on this stranger), the idiot from health and welfare knew he screwed up and bailed. The cops arrested this boy, put him in hand cuffs, and placed him in the cop car. He has a black eye, bruised arms, and his wrists are bruised. He couldn't understand what was going on.


All that because someone insisted on helping because they have experience with kids on the spectrum. Just leave the parents alone. If you have studied it then you should be in a profession where the parents seek out your help. Wait until we come to you.


Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

Okay, so what if I HAVE studied it? At great length?


Quoting Grumpylilpixy:


I wouldn't ask a person who has NOT STUDIED it. NOR has to deal with it on a daily basis " WHAT TO DO WITH MY CHILD". Unless you wear a sign on your head that says " I DEAL WITH AUTISTIC CHILDREN" I would not discuss my autistic child with you.


I'm sorry that you may have knowledge about Autistic children but I am sure I can safety say there are more people WHO HAVE NO IDEA what we deal with then there are WHO MIGHT KNOW!


So majority of the time I do not even say I have a autistic child BECAUSE that is nobodys biz but my child and me ( other then here). 


 


Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

How do you know? Just because I do not have an Autistic child of my own, does not mean that I am not around Autistic children on a daily basis.




Quoting Grumpylilpixy:


Because YOU  HAVE NO IDEA IN HELL, what we go through.


Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

Just because you (general "you") have an Autistic child does not make you Parent of the Year. How do you know I don't have any helpful/useful advice to share?





 


cerainwondrland
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:46 PM
I agree. I don't have a child with autism and I certainly don't know how to raise one. I've known a couple people with autism but I don't know much about it. So until I've done my research I'll keep my mouth shut lol =)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 3, 2012 at 2:22 PM
Totally agree!

Having been a childless nanny while in college and now a parent, I have a really hard time understanding the "if you don't have kids, you couldn't understand" position.


Quoting MicheleJM:



Quoting Anonymous:

I actually don't think this is an accurate statement, I think that there are a huge number of people who could offer great parenting tips for their autistic child, even if they themselves don't have one.



I could 100% offer a mother of an Autistic some really useful tips to help her son (and in turn her). I don't have a child with Autism but I do know her child, and could really help her out.

I feel this way about childless people; sometimes they have insight you don't see because you are parents and can't see, kwim? I'd listen to anyone as long as they weren't condescending and acting like they knew it all.


ColtsFan1912
by FriendoftheFoot on Dec. 3, 2012 at 2:26 PM

IMO no one should tell anyone HOW to raise ANY child unless someone asks for advice. 

samyee33
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:28 AM
Quoting Anonymous:


you really are an imbecile. Lol not much i can say to someone of your kind.
rose198172
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 12:03 AM

Or are an actual autistic person who might want to offer some insight on why a child is melting down in the middle of Walmart.  Just saying.

I'm autistic.  I have two autistic children.  I find that I understand them better because of my own experiences and finding out information about other people who are autistic than I find from fellow "autism moms" who tend to be overwhelmingly neurotypical.

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