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Here's a confession for you!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I just want to get it out. I've been with dh 15 years. I am bisexual and he has known from the beginning. Early in our relationship we had a threesome and we have done so many times with a few different women.
About ten years ago we were sleeping with a woman. She ended up living in our house for about 3 years. It became deeper than friendship and fun for her and I. Me and sh started having problems. I would not admit that I had feelings for her but he could see it. I ended up asking her to move out. We lost contact for the most part but I never stopped missing her.
A few months ago we started talking again. She started to come visit and the three of us would go to the bar together. One night dh invited her back to our house and we spent the night together. I told him it was a bad idea but when he asked why I didn't give him straight answers. We have been spending a lot of time together and a lot of nights together. She spent the night with us last night.
When she went home today I told dh we needed to talk. Our relationship is so much stronger now than when we were young. I told him I needed to be honest with him. I told him I was in love with her. It didn't mean I love him any less but I can't help my feelings for her. He told me that it's obvious. When we are together it's like we have tunnel vision, we only see each other. He thanked me for being honest and wanted to know where we go from here.
I told him if he wanted I would cut off contact with her. I told him I would be sad and I would miss her but our relationship is more important than anything. His response was that he loved me too much to ask me to do something that would hurt me.
I don't know what to do. I love them both. I'm hurting because I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to lose her. She doesn't know how I feel. I haven't told her. I don't know how she feels anymore either. But I suspect she still has feelings for me. As I said our connection is obvious we just haven't talked about it. Dh asked her who else she is sleeping with as we don't want to end up with anything. She told him she isn't sleeping with anyone else. She doesn't want to be with anyone sexually but us. My life is so normal other than this.
Go ahead and bash, I hurt anyway and I can't help how I feel.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:16 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:31 AM

 Maybe she's inlove with your husband..not you.

by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:31 AM

Yeah I could understand how that would be difficult! I'm not sure WHAT I would say either. I wish I had more advice to give you. Maybe tell her that you love her and that you would like to be with her but your marriage HAS to come first and if for some reason things get to where he can't handle it then you have to call it off and you'd have to fix your marriage. I guess I'm not a very good advice giver in this situation lol I'm sorry but I hope things get better for you! Hugs

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks, it sucks lol. I don't know what to say to her because I don't know what I have to offer. If dh can't handle it at any point, well he comes first. But I don't know how I would say that to her...

Quoting Bird16_J:

Honestly it sounds like maybe you need to sit down with EVERYBODY and figure out what to do. It's great that you were able to be honest with your hubby now it sounds like you need to be honest with her and figure out where you stand in this situation. Just sit down and talk. Best piece of advice I can offer to you. Good luck I couldn't imagine being in that situation!

by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:31 AM
That's tough but if all three of you care about each other I would give a serious relationship a try. If you feel it would risk your marriage then I probably would not but your husband sounds very open about the whole situation.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Yeah but doesn't her and I sleeping together kinda break the "rules"?!? Lmao!

Quoting areyouatroll:

Ummmmm. Sister wives?
by Jagged Edge on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:34 AM
Just sit down and talk to her next and go from there. Good luck :-)
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:34 AM

ive had serious feelings for two guys at one time...i had to choose! i lived and im happy!

by Baby T-rex Arms on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:37 AM

Would they fall in love with each other and decide they didn't need you? Be very careful girl. Hugs.

Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly, I think relieved lol. It would make things easier for me. And I know they care about each other. I actually think she does love him to some point.

Quoting knkd:

how would you feel if they loved each other as well?

by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:38 AM
Is being poly an option for y'all? Or even trying it?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:38 AM
That's always a possibility I guess. I actually think she does love him. He's an awesome guy. But I also know how much she loved me when we were together before and it's like we picked up where we left off. I think you are most likely wrong but If that was the situation it would probably serve me right.

Quoting babyboy117:

 Maybe she's inlove with your husband..not you.

by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:39 AM

Why cant she move in and everyone live happily ever after? Sister wives kinds like? Just keep it honest?

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