About ten years ago we were sleeping with a woman. She ended up living in our house for about 3 years. It became deeper than friendship and fun for her and I. Me and sh started having problems. I would not admit that I had feelings for her but he could see it. I ended up asking her to move out. We lost contact for the most part but I never stopped missing her.
A few months ago we started talking again. She started to come visit and the three of us would go to the bar together. One night dh invited her back to our house and we spent the night together. I told him it was a bad idea but when he asked why I didn't give him straight answers. We have been spending a lot of time together and a lot of nights together. She spent the night with us last night.
When she went home today I told dh we needed to talk. Our relationship is so much stronger now than when we were young. I told him I needed to be honest with him. I told him I was in love with her. It didn't mean I love him any less but I can't help my feelings for her. He told me that it's obvious. When we are together it's like we have tunnel vision, we only see each other. He thanked me for being honest and wanted to know where we go from here.
I told him if he wanted I would cut off contact with her. I told him I would be sad and I would miss her but our relationship is more important than anything. His response was that he loved me too much to ask me to do something that would hurt me.
I don't know what to do. I love them both. I'm hurting because I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to lose her. She doesn't know how I feel. I haven't told her. I don't know how she feels anymore either. But I suspect she still has feelings for me. As I said our connection is obvious we just haven't talked about it. Dh asked her who else she is sleeping with as we don't want to end up with anything. She told him she isn't sleeping with anyone else. She doesn't want to be with anyone sexually but us. My life is so normal other than this.
Go ahead and bash, I hurt anyway and I can't help how I feel.