Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Nobody told me i could do both! *edit to answer questions*

Posted by   + Show Post
Nobody told me i could breastfeed and formula feed. I stoppped breastfeeding my first dd when she was two months old because i couldnt pump. I never got a break and she was ALWAYS hungry. I thought i was just not producing enough milk.

But with this baby it is soooo much easier formula feeding and breastfeeding. I didnt add the formula until she was two weeks old, but it is sooo much easier. I do not pump, she gets about two bottles of formula a day and i strictly breastfeed at night (its easier then getting up and making the bottle, lol). I get my break, my boobs arnt near as sore, and others get to feed her as well. Im not shy about feeding her in public, but its easier being able to give her a bottle when we r out and about. She does pretty good with it, sometimes she will prefer a bottle over the boob or the other way around. I think i will be able to breastfeed her until she is at least one, or bites my boob, lol.

I wish i knew then what i know now.... my second child is sooo much easier than my first and thats with a two year old running around. Its amazing the little tricks you learn that nobody tells you, like they actually make a little swaddle blanket. Im sure they had them two years ago, but i always tried to use a regular baby blanket and she would wiggle her way out of it. With this one they gave me one at the hospital and mil bought us one the day we brought her home.
Also, i learned that if you hold a baby nonstop, they always want to be held. I learned my lesson with my first. I get more done now with two kids then i did back then with one baby.


Any one else learn anything from experience? Please share, my kids r still teaching me everyday. Lol.


*edit*
wow, this post went a total diff direction than i was hoping, i was hoping people would be giving advice on things they learned, not bashing me, but whatever...

I do hold my baby a lot, just note nonstop like with my first. If she falls asleep i put her down, with my first i would hold her if she fell asleep.

I have a bf consultant come to my house for the first six weeks. She was awesome and was actually the one who told me it wont hurt to give her a bottle or two a day because she seen how hard it was for me to pump, i can get about four ounces in twenty min, but i have to squeeze my boobs to do this, and thats with two diff pumps. She realized i was getting depressed and was really hard on myself.

My supply is still really good, just this morning my baby was acting funny whle bf and i took my boob out and it was just squirting everywhere and was too much at one time for her. My supply is good and if two bottles a day starts to make me dry up, i will go to one a day. But its been a few weeks and its fine.

I use the nuk breastfeeding nipples and bottles, its shaped like the end of a boob and the nipple looks like mine with the hole on top instead of on the end like normal bottle. Damn things cost $10 for three bottle and that was on sale.

I am feeding my kid and she is happy, i hold her a lot, just not nonstop. I have things i need to do. If your milk dried up im sorry, but everyones body is different, im still going strong. I am still mainy breastfeeding, so its really not necessary to bash. She eats every two hours, thats during the day and night, so i relly dont think two bottles matters. And even the bf consultant told me its healthier for me and baby to do both rather than just bf and me get post partum depression from being overwhelmed. She said i was starting to show the signs.

So to those who didnt bash, thankyou.....to the rest, why bother even commenting????? This post was to tell what u learned, not to bash me on what i feed my kid, or because i put her down instead of never putting her down and wearing a sling while i clean toilets and do the dishes.....
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Replies (221-230):
mommyof2n1
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM

With my first DD, I started nursing at birth.  When she was 9 days old, I ended up back in the hospital for a few days, and was forced to put her on formula for that time.  After that, I continued to nurse when I could, but she had formula when she was with grandparents b/c I was at work.  My supply was plentiful.  I pumped, nursed, gave her formula...it was all good.

My 2nd DD was a different story.  She was always eating, and refused a bottle - period - for the first 3 months.  She was the one I hardly ever put down for the simple reason she was almost always attached to a boob.  I was fine with putting her down when the opportunity arose, and was sooo happy when I could finally supplement with formula.  Again, supply was still ample.

I learned from the first one to just let it slide...nothing is really that big of a deal.  Let it go!

AshleyBDG
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:03 AM
I did this too because after the first couple weeks I just couldn't produce like my baby needed me to. He wasn't gaining, was fussy and crying all the time and with pumping I'd only get like 1.5 oz total from both breasts it was just not working so I ended up having a nurse tell me I needed to supplement I see now that wasn't real supportive to my success at breast feeding but we were all much happier I nursed at home and used formula when needed or when out and about. Eventually though I wasn't producing hardly anything and baby didn't want it when he could get milk from the bottle without all the work. This time I'm going to try harder I really want to succeed but if it doesn't work I'd rather formula feed if all else fails than beat myself up and feel miserable and not be able to enjoy my baby due to depression and such. Baby will thrive either way when it comes down to it. She'll grow and be loved and healthy and fed regardless.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
suetoo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:41 AM

Hi!

both my daughters did both, and only reason they stopped breast feeding? They couldn't pump to save their babies life......and they both had to go back to work full time after only 6 weeks maternity leave!

renewlin
by New Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:42 AM
I supplement with formula during the day and I am still nursing at night and in the morning - my little one is almost 8 months now and still going strong with both! Great job mama! You are doing what you need to do and you are enjoying your kids - don't listen to others that want to just push their beliefs on you - every child and mother are different. I have a 2 year old as well and I think you said it perfectly when you said "I get more done now with two kids then i did back then with one baby." All I did was hold my first born every minute of every day and was anxious about everything - has that changed this time around for sure! And even though I may not be able to hold my baby all the time anymore (since you have to care for the toddler as well ya know) they know I love them and they are still happy little ones! ;)
elizabooks
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:23 PM
[quote name="GMom2011" id="0"][/quote

Yep. But not as bad as when we gave her the wrong Nestle instant breakfast drink (think smmothie texture) because we were sleep deprived. Instead of beets and taroroot rice, she got my squid ink and spinach oatmeal mix. She gorged herself on it. At 2am I misread the labels and when I saw the poop I panicked because that was the main color on the page in her instruction manuel covering digestive issues as seen in poop. (yes the hospital gave us a PDF baby instruction manuel). I took DD and the diapers to the doctor, along with the formula can, the herbs I was taking to help my milk production and the package of food I had fed her. The nurse started laughing and it took the head nurse to calm them down and explain. They called my translator and she showed up at my house with a Ahama and a sheet of sticky labels. Sent me to bed and when I woke up all of the boxes on the kitchen had labels that said "will turn poop red" " turns poop green" and so on.
I was humiliated and gratified.
By the by we were in Taiwan and my grasp of the written Chinese language is not all that good.
jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Well obviously, you are of the opinion that the mother is the only person who should provide for the child's needs, but most people simply don't follow that notion. Most women expect fathers and other caregivers to contribute to the child's needs and well-being. Also, just because a mother believes in taking time to foster her own personal needs, does not mean that the child is not the "overall focus" of said mother. I understand that a lot of extremists on here believe in this 'all or nothing' approach...but they are def in the minority. Plenty of mothers find that a healthy balance is key to a happy family...

Quoting GaleJ:

While I can understand special circumstances such as your own and others relating to lactation issues I don't understand the other reasons you cited. If one is to take the time to pump why not just take the same time to nurse? Our babies are small and in need of such intense attention for such a short time and for that time I do think they should be the major focus for their mothers. Babies are, and should be, an active commitment and I believe that if you are not willing to make that commitment you shouldn't have a baby. 

I am not saying that there are no circumstances that might demand, for a limited time a mother's attention I am addressing the overall situation. 

Quoting jamamama00:

Because they have stuff to do? There are lots of other reasons,,,,mine was that I only have one boob and it took a pump to keep my supply up. However, just because someone is a stay-at-home mom does not mean they have no life other than baby. I know there are a lot of moms on here who truly do nothing but sit w/ baby, and that's fine. But I think most women these days are expecting the father to help out more, to have more time for themselves for things like going to the gym, taking care of other children, etc.

Quoting GaleJ:

I am not replying to either boast or to criticize, I am only asking because I really don't understand something about all this. Why do women feel the need to pump at all if they're not working and exclusively breastfeeding? My son was exclusively breastfeeding and I never pumped, didn't even have a pump or any bottles. I didn't have them because I planned on breastfeeding exclusively so I didn't believe I needed them. As to dads wanting to feed the baby that isn't something that worked for us, obviously, but my husband staked out his exclusive territory with our baby. He did the bedtime tuck-in which was better anyway because the baby didn't get distracted with nursing instead being put to bed.

So I respectfully ask why those that are stay-at-home, exclusively breastfeeding mothers feel the need to pump at all?

 

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 40 on Dec. 6, 2012 at 1:40 PM


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

Exclusive breastfeeding is best for baby, but it's not always best for mom and mom matters too


You hit the nail on the head with this one.

GaleJ
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:19 PM

Well actually that is not at all true. I do not believe that the mother is the only person to care for the child. Our family was part of many "networks" in which children were cared for by many people within the network or organization. Whether at our Montessori school, our temple, or among  our circle of friends, my son was cared for by others and I participated in the care of other children as well. Furthermore my husband was an active caretaker for our son, regularly taking turns with all aspects of care, except obviously the breastfeeding.

My statement was an honest inquiry regarding the need for a breast pump and bottles and was never meant to address anything about balance. While I did speak to the idea of a mother's focus being primarily on the baby for the very limited time/times when the baby requires it. I do believe that while the mother should be able to have help with childcare, have balance, she should be willing to commit fully to baby when appropriate to the baby's needs. That also is a question of balance with the baby's specific needs balanced with the mother's and that of the family's. 

I personally find that too many people have children without understanding just how difficult parenting can be. Babies, and children, are wonderful but some can be very difficult and most go through some difficult times. At those times I believe that parents must put their primary focus on the babies/children without any hesitation and with a committed sense of selflessness. 


 

Quoting jamamama00

Well obviously, you are of the opinion that the mother is the only person who should provide for the child's needs, but most people simply don't follow that notion. Most women expect fathers and other caregivers to contribute to the child's needs and well-being. Also, just because a mother believes in taking time to foster her own personal needs, does not mean that the child is not the "overall focus" of said mother. I understand that a lot of extremists on here believe in this 'all or nothing' approach...but they are def in the minority. Plenty of mothers find that a healthy balance is key to a happy family...

Quoting GaleJ:

While I can understand special circumstances such as your own and others relating to lactation issues I don't understand the other reasons you cited. If one is to take the time to pump why not just take the same time to nurse? Our babies are small and in need of such intense attention for such a short time and for that time I do think they should be the major focus for their mothers. Babies are, and should be, an active commitment and I believe that if you are not willing to make that commitment you shouldn't have a baby. 

I am not saying that there are no circumstances that might demand, for a limited time a mother's attention I am addressing the overall situation. 

Quoting jamamama00:

Because they have stuff to do? There are lots of other reasons,,,,mine was that I only have one boob and it took a pump to keep my supply up. However, just because someone is a stay-at-home mom does not mean they have no life other than baby. I know there are a lot of moms on here who truly do nothing but sit w/ baby, and that's fine. But I think most women these days are expecting the father to help out more, to have more time for themselves for things like going to the gym, taking care of other children, etc.

Quoting GaleJ:

I am not replying to either boast or to criticize, I am only asking because I really don't understand something about all this. Why do women feel the need to pump at all if they're not working and exclusively breastfeeding? My son was exclusively breastfeeding and I never pumped, didn't even have a pump or any bottles. I didn't have them because I planned on breastfeeding exclusively so I didn't believe I needed them. As to dads wanting to feed the baby that isn't something that worked for us, obviously, but my husband staked out his exclusive territory with our baby. He did the bedtime tuck-in which was better anyway because the baby didn't get distracted with nursing instead being put to bed.

So I respectfully ask why those that are stay-at-home, exclusively breastfeeding mothers feel the need to pump at all?

 

 

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 41 on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:14 PM

I did that too with my youngest (he's 8 years old now) when the doc was concerned about me and my boys ages 2 weeks and 3 years at the time.  She told me I could supplement, one bottle a day at first,  I got the playtex "most like the boob" type of nursers and it was great.  Most of the time the bottle would actually be breast milk and my husband or other family would feed him while I would go pump then take shower and pump again. 

about holding your baby... the experts say that for the first 3 months a baby's whole world exists in an oval between your elbow and your face but the little one has to be awake to get some of their developmental cues from you.  Meanwhile, you gotta get stuff done and who says that big brother can't have face time with the baby too.

You do what is best for you. 

 

DeeDee205
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:50 AM

I haven't read any comments yet, but why would you be bashed for this?  BF is healthy for baby, but I see no problem ff either.  And I understand what you mean by being able to put baby down.  I held my first ALL the time, but I didn't have that time to hold my second ALL the time (however, she does demand it).  No bashing here.  Just do the best you can.  Sounds like you've got things worked out.  Good job mama!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN