I'm not positive that I am pregnant.
However, I have a gut feeling I may be, and after days of freaking out over the fact, I have decided, that if i am, I will be ending the pregnancy.
I have never, ever believed in abortion. I don't have a problem with someone else having one, but for me, it was the biggest no no.
Amazing how life changes your views.
I am aware that adoption is available, but the situation I'm in means that no, it is not an option that I will entertain. I could keep the baby, I'm sure, but no, I refuse that option too. I am aware of the bashing that is coming. Why open your legs if you don't want a baby etc etc, and I'm waiting for it. I already have a 1yr old daughter, who I'm in the middle of a custody battle with her dad over. I also met the love of my life, and as selfish as it sounds; I refuse to fuck it up with him.
I'm not asking for advice, I just needed to get it out. I guess, the only thing I don't understand, is how calm about the whole thing I am. I thought I'd be crying all the time, or freaking out; but really, if I'm pregnant, then it is an abortion, and for some reason I feel no pain about that...
I'm totally and completely not pregnant, thank god for that.
My man said he would have supported me even if I was, but I'm just glad we didn't have to worry about that eventuality.