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sick of it and I'm stuck. f*** going anon* eta

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I don't know what else to do.



I've said it before. Ever since my husband was diagnosed with diabetes he's been a Fucking jerk. He's been angy- and I'm sick of it. He even makes low blows like how I have to pee ALL the time. Since pregnancy, and it never got better. He's in therapy- to deal with his anger- and nothing is getting better. Nothing.



I told him after the holidays, I want a divorce. I love him so much, but I don't deserve to be treated like shit while he's mad at the world. What did he do? Grab his insulin and threaten to OD on it.



Not the first time.



I took the insulin, all of it, and I'm going to hand it to him when he needs it. I'll also be calling his therapist today.



I just want my sweet, caring husband back. I'm sick of the asshole that replaced him. I've asked him to do couples therapy with me and he refuses. I want to fix things- but I seem to be the only one.



Ndkandbjdoebdjfodneb Fuck.



Seriously, just fuuuuck.



.........ok I'm done. Advice?


*eta*
He calmed down, and I reapproached calmly. We talked for a while about what needs to change, and why I'm so upset. I explained to him that I can handle the depression- I know what to do- but I can't deal with anger directed at me, when I did nothing to deserve it. Its not fair, and it's not a healthy environment

We hugged and kissed.

For better or for worse..... we're going to work through it. Thank you to the mom that reminded me of my vows. It helped snap me back to reality. I love him, and I don't want to leave... I'm just so fed up. I'm going to take a lot of the advice that I've been given.

Thank you
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:55 AM
Replies (41-50):
raegansmom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:49 AM
Are his blood sugars high? If so, that is probably the problem. As someone who has had diabetes for over half my life, I can tell you that high blood sugar makes you an angry asshole. If you look it up, you will see that moody & crabby are true side effects of diabetes. Not to mention, if he is recently diagnosed, he is probably angry at the world & feels he's been handed a death sentence. It took me about 5 years to accept my illness & pull my head out of my ass. Unless you live it, you have no idea how devastating it truly is.
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lovelove211
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:53 AM
I read he's in the honeymoon phase, once his diabeties settles down and his levels are controlled he might feel a little better, it's tough in the beginning but honestly it doesn't affect my life much. It's hard having medication to take and I used to be embarrassed about it but it does get easier


Quoting xomrs.chase:

I've been hoping for that, but I think they're focusing on the past first. He was diagnosed in April. He's 32. As a kid he had ulcerative colitis (it's in remission) so to him is that same permanent feeling



I get why it would bring him down, and I try so hard to be understanding..




Quoting lovelove211:

I am also insulin dependent, diagnosed aged 10, I remember crying and saying to my mom that I wished I was dead, it was mainly in the beginning when my teachers fussed over and I didn't like being treated differently and my grandparents fussing over what I ate all the time. My advice to him is to stop feeling sorry for himself, once he excepts this he will realize he can live a normal life that really isn't much different to what he did before. I honestly don't think about it anymore. Therapy may help him accept this

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:54 AM

His insulin intake might not be right for him.  When my sugars are all over the place I get mean and bitchy...it's not anything I can control, it just happens.  I would first start with getting his insulin adjusted.

CeeGee81
by CanadaGirl on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:56 AM

This is VERY true for myself as well.

Quoting raegansmom:

Are his blood sugars high? If so, that is probably the problem. As someone who has had diabetes for over half my life, I can tell you that high blood sugar makes you an angry asshole. If you look it up, you will see that moody & crabby are true side effects of diabetes. Not to mention, if he is recently diagnosed, he is probably angry at the world & feels he's been handed a death sentence. It took me about 5 years to accept my illness & pull my head out of my ass. Unless you live it, you have no idea how devastating it truly is.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:59 AM

so as soon as he really needs you, you plan to divorce him. nice. 

xomrs.chase
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:01 AM
Thank you. I'm not sure of his specialist's official title (besides m.d.) but we were referred to him by our pcp. He's the "best of the best" for our area. I trust our pcp. He's the one that picked up on it- and argued with the EE docs trying to claim it was insipidis (more about salt I guess? They put him on the wrong meds post ER).

He tests all day long. A month supply of strips lasts about 2 weeks. He has glucose tabs in his kit for extreme lows.

He's taking better care of himself now. At first he just shut down and didn't care because he wanted to feel "normal". We got into a fight on mothers day because he went outside to sneak eating candy (and did not take a shot to match. His sugar got over 300). I was pissed.

I ended the fight by saying:
"This is not about YOU anymore- so stop being selfish. If you Fuck up you're dead. You don't have to deal with it. I'm the one who will be a single parent. I'll have to throw your funeral. I'll have to explain to our son why his daddy is dead!"

He shaped up after that.
It's the anger and depression now

Thank you for help and the links.
(I asked Dh. It is an endocrinologist)


Quoting artio.sd:

Quoting xomrs.chase:






How often does he take his sugars? That's difficult to get used to doing but if the pancreas is still putting out he should be taking it often, so he can be making adjustments to his insulin. My dads long lasting was pretty fixed, but his fasting acting dosage was variable based on his sugar levels and activity. So is my fianc├ęs. They both take their sugar levels at least 4 times a day and sometimes more depending on how they feel.

*** I'm not saying to tinker with it unless his doc has discussed it with him because there is some guidelines on how much fast acting you give based on sugar levels.

And as PP stated there are other meds out there to help even out insulin and sugar levels. He may really need to consider them.



I know you said he was seeing a diabetic specialist, but is he an endocrinologist also? I know that seems kind of redundant but some diabetic specialist aren't. My SO first one wasn't. My dads actually had diabetes which definitely helped a lot.



Since it seems to be low often he should have some glucose tabs with him at all times and make sure he is eating enough carbs (not to much because carbs=sugar) but cause he does need some.

Here are two links that will have some great info and support groups. Sorry I can't make them clicky.

http://www.diabetes.org/



http://www.tudiabetes.org/
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raegansmom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Also, look up Dexcom. It is a continuos gluclose monitoring system. I've only had mine since March & let me tell you, it has made a world if difference in my blood sugar control! It will help him head off the lows & the highs because it not only tells you what your sugar is, but also if its going up or down & how quickly. IMO, every diabetic should have one!
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xomrs.chase
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:03 AM
I stayed in the ER when it happened. I saw the specialist with him- I have bent over backwards to help him. And I'm getting spit on as thanks.

Quoting Anonymous:

so as soon as he really needs you, you plan to divorce him. nice. 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:03 AM
Maybe you need individual counseling with the same counselor. You have to fix every piece of the puzzle in a family unit..not just one piece. Then eventually you can move towards the both of you doing sessions together. I really hope things get better for you. I know how miserable that can be. Good luck sweetie!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:05 AM

just being around is not helping him, he needs support.

Quoting xomrs.chase:

I stayed in the ER when it happened. I saw the specialist with him- I have bent over backwards to help him. And I'm getting spit on as thanks.

Quoting Anonymous:

so as soon as he really needs you, you plan to divorce him. nice. 


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