I think my dh likes someone else UPDATE!!

[Anonymous]

Everyday when he gets home it's j did this and j said that!! And it's all day and all night. She's all I hear about. And anytime he has a problem he goes to her!! Wtf? They've only been working together for maybe three months.











**I have talked to him. He tells me I'm just being jealous that he only talks to her because he works with her. But he doesn't talk about his other coworkers nearly as much not even the ones he works closely with. I can't do anything without him bringing her up. I don't think he's cheating but I do think he likes her and I don't know what to do. He can't change his hours or anything like that. And I can't make him quit lol. So idk.**





*** Thank you ladies for all of your advice. I will try to talk to him again and see his reaction and try to get him to understand why I am so uncomfortable. I will also make sure I meet her. Thanks again for all of your advice***



**** I went to dh's work today for his lunch break but I didn't get to meet her until right before I left. She was kinda pretty but didn't look anything like me. I'm having dh invite her over for dinner one night so I can actually meet her. I also talked to him again last night. He said his usual she's just someone I work with. So I guess we'll see what happens.****

[Anonymous]

Update when you meet her. You will probably know more once you see them in person and how they act, look, etc. 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Thank you. I appreciate that. :)

Quoting LovelyMommy24:

Exactly what I'm saying! I'm revealing who I am so you can PM me if you'd like a support system on this. :) 

Quoting Anonymous:

I can try lol. It'd be just like telling someone about an imaginary friend as a kid. Well kind of the same. The only difference is he won't know he's non existent.

Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, not lying. You can't think of it like that. Think of it like this, it's either you show him what this feels like and nip it in the bud right now or he may end up cheating on you. Could you imagine what you would have to go through? Now, I'm not saying that's why he's talking to or about this girl but it's a possibility. If you start talking about another man and how great he is it'll reel him back in to you. He'll wonder to himself, the same things you are wondering right now. It'll make him realize, maybe I shouldn't talk to this girl anymore, I don't want her to talk to this other man. If I were you, I would do it. If you want his interest to be back towards you and only you this is one of your best options. As you've already learned if you bring up the issue he calls you jealous, why not make him jealous and see how it likes it? 

You can do it girl! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Wouldn't that be lying though? I have a super conscious lol. I'm not a good liar.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I'm saying, you got it girl! Do it. It's one of the only things sometimes that you can do is give it right back to him. That will more than likely open his eyes. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I could make one up lol. That's about all I could do.

Quoting Anonymous:

When you meet her tomorrow, see if she reminds you of yourself. Maybe she reminds him of you and it's easy for him to talk to her. If worse comes to worse and he won't listen to you is there any way you could "meet" a man to start talking about all the time?

Quoting Anonymous:

Like 2-4 years older than us I think.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then that is weird. Do you know how old this woman is? 

Quoting Anonymous:

He has a brother. He's never been one to talk to girls. I was the one who started talking to him when we first got together. He has always been friends with men.

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to do that, he just felt more comfortable talking to women. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't appropriate. He doesn't do it anymore, at all. Granted he isn't working in the same place anymore, but I just want you to know just because he's doing this doesn't mean he likes her like that. Does he have any brothers or just sisters? My dh only has a sister, which I've learned, made him more comfortable around females than it did males. 

[LovelyMommy24]

You're welcome. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I appreciate that. :)

Quoting LovelyMommy24:

Exactly what I'm saying! I'm revealing who I am so you can PM me if you'd like a support system on this. :) 

Quoting Anonymous:

I can try lol. It'd be just like telling someone about an imaginary friend as a kid. Well kind of the same. The only difference is he won't know he's non existent.

Quoting Anonymous:

Nope, not lying. You can't think of it like that. Think of it like this, it's either you show him what this feels like and nip it in the bud right now or he may end up cheating on you. Could you imagine what you would have to go through? Now, I'm not saying that's why he's talking to or about this girl but it's a possibility. If you start talking about another man and how great he is it'll reel him back in to you. He'll wonder to himself, the same things you are wondering right now. It'll make him realize, maybe I shouldn't talk to this girl anymore, I don't want her to talk to this other man. If I were you, I would do it. If you want his interest to be back towards you and only you this is one of your best options. As you've already learned if you bring up the issue he calls you jealous, why not make him jealous and see how it likes it? 

You can do it girl! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Wouldn't that be lying though? I have a super conscious lol. I'm not a good liar.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I'm saying, you got it girl! Do it. It's one of the only things sometimes that you can do is give it right back to him. That will more than likely open his eyes. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I could make one up lol. That's about all I could do.

Quoting Anonymous:

When you meet her tomorrow, see if she reminds you of yourself. Maybe she reminds him of you and it's easy for him to talk to her. If worse comes to worse and he won't listen to you is there any way you could "meet" a man to start talking about all the time?

Quoting Anonymous:

Like 2-4 years older than us I think.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then that is weird. Do you know how old this woman is? 

Quoting Anonymous:

He has a brother. He's never been one to talk to girls. I was the one who started talking to him when we first got together. He has always been friends with men.

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to do that, he just felt more comfortable talking to women. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't appropriate. He doesn't do it anymore, at all. Granted he isn't working in the same place anymore, but I just want you to know just because he's doing this doesn't mean he likes her like that. Does he have any brothers or just sisters? My dh only has a sister, which I've learned, made him more comfortable around females than it did males. 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I will. I'm hoping for tomorrow but it depends on when dd gets better.

Quoting Anonymous:

Update when you meet her. You will probably know more once you see them in person and how they act, look, etc. 

[chas1217]

I agree! The fact that he's telling her his problems, would be a huge problem to me. The way he's goes about telling her to stop being jealous would be a no go with me too! My df reassured me I had nothing to worry about or be jealous about but never went about it like that. A big part of my jealous was probably due to me being pregnant too lol those crazy hormones make me worry about everything! Now usually when df is talking about the women at work he's bitching too lol.

Quoting armstrong7984:

The op's dh seems to be more infactuated with this girl and hes been telling her all his problems too which could easily be emotionally cheating and ya she said that he wont let her talk about it, too many red flags already, in your case it couldve been simply been excited about the job. Only time my dh spoke about the girls he worked with was when he was bitching about them. lol

Quoting chas1217:

My df did this when he first started the job he is at now. He talked about one of the girls he works with all the time, he didn't go to her with his problems but he talked about her alot. I talked to him, he assured me I had nothing to worry about, that he just got along with her and they had to spend time together, they work together. He works with alot of women at this job. The first chance he had for me to go meet her, he took me to meet her, I felt much better. I really like her now actually lol. But I talked to him about it, he stopped doing it as much too. Also I had to realize, he did have to spend time with her, and he was excited about the new job. sometimes him telling me about the job involved him talking about her. I guess it would really depend on what he was saying about her all the time? It would also bother me that when you bring it up he blows it off and tells you to stop being jealous.

 

[Anonymous]

Quoting Anonymous:

Okay I wasn't aware that u had already talked to your DH about this. But do u think he could just be doing it to make u jealous, since he knows now that it bothers you?
I also would go and meet this woman just to see how they act around each other. (This is going to tell you a lot.) It is not a bad idea, if it were my husband I would come up with another day to meet her since your child had fever today. I just hope for your sake it is nothing. No i do not think any man would tell there wife that they want another woman or even seeing another woman.

But I am confused about one thing if he is a mechanic what in the Hell is she doing out there with me men if she is the receptionist are what ever? I know she has to tell them things and the rest of the time she should be doing her job.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I know she's in the shop because that's where the customers are but I have no idea. From what he says most days they are super busy. I don't think he would want to make me jealous. But I guess that could be a reason.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

Okay I wasn't aware that u had already talked to your DH about this. But do u think he could just be doing it to make u jealous, since he knows now that it bothers you?

I also would go and meet this woman just to see how they act around each other. (This is going to tell you a lot.) It is not a bad idea, if it were my husband I would come up with another day to meet her since your child had fever today. I just hope for your sake it is nothing. No i do not think any man would tell there wife that they want another woman or even seeing another woman.



But I am confused about one thing if he is a mechanic what in the Hell is she doing out there with me men if she is the receptionist are what ever? I know she has to tell them things and the rest of the time she should be doing her job.

[SterlingHeart]

some guys have work wives ---  i have another friend with same deal - they are just friends though and she has gotten over the jealousy and hurt.....  she met her and um well not his type just a nice funny lady that he works with -   YES meet her ASAP

[Anonymous]

Quoting Anonymous:

I also have another question what kind of problem is he telling her about? Yours and his problems, which would piss me off? He should be confiding in you not a female co-worker period regardless of weather there friends are not. Also what kind of things is he bragging about her doing?

All the mechanic shops I have ever been in before has a office were the receptionist works. And the customers have seats in this area as well so they can wait until there vehicle is fixed.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Any and all problems and he talks about everything she does.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

I also have another question what kind of problem is he telling her about? Yours and his problems, which would piss me off? He should be confiding in you not a female co-worker period regardless of weather there friends are not. Also what kind of things is he bragging about her doing?



All the mechanic shops I have ever been in before has a office were the receptionist works. And the customers have seats in this area as well so they can wait until there vehicle is fixed.