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I think my dh likes someone else UPDATE!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Everyday when he gets home it's j did this and j said that!! And it's all day and all night. She's all I hear about. And anytime he has a problem he goes to her!! Wtf? They've only been working together for maybe three months.











**I have talked to him. He tells me I'm just being jealous that he only talks to her because he works with her. But he doesn't talk about his other coworkers nearly as much not even the ones he works closely with. I can't do anything without him bringing her up. I don't think he's cheating but I do think he likes her and I don't know what to do. He can't change his hours or anything like that. And I can't make him quit lol. So idk.**





*** Thank you ladies for all of your advice. I will try to talk to him again and see his reaction and try to get him to understand why I am so uncomfortable. I will also make sure I meet her. Thanks again for all of your advice***



**** I went to dh's work today for his lunch break but I didn't get to meet her until right before I left. She was kinda pretty but didn't look anything like me. I'm having dh invite her over for dinner one night so I can actually meet her. I also talked to him again last night. He said his usual she's just someone I work with. So I guess we'll see what happens.****
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Replies (91-100):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:47 PM
I don't think there is. Not physically anyways. He's never done this before. I just don't know how to talk to him about it anymore. I've tried a dozen times.

Quoting armstrong7984:

Well do you think somethings going on between them or potential will be soon? You would be the one to really know. i mean has he done this in the past?


he sounds a bit infauctuated with her to me,  or abit obsessive. And i def think its good to nip this right in the butt while you still can. before he does take it one step closer


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been. I've been wanting to move back to where we just moved from. So he's been looking for a job there. He's also applying here because we just need more money so he's trying to find something better so that's good. But I'm still worried. I try to not be the jealous type but it's hard when she's all he talks about.


Quoting armstrong7984:


ya......to wierd i think if my dh wanted me to meet a girl he was working with i would be a bit taken back, even if you think shes nasty and you put it in the back of your mind that he wouldnt ever even touch her, he still could. I would really see if he could get a different job..



Quoting Anonymous:

I should be able to tomorrow. She seems nice from what he's said. She knows about me and he says she's always asking how me and dd are but idk. I still don't like it.



Quoting CorpCityGrl:



Okay, when you get a chance then go and meet her.  However, still communicate to your husband that you are not comfortable with their relationship and that you don't like the fact that you go to her when he has a problem.  THAT in and of itself is a problem! 




Quoting Anonymous:

He wants me to meet her. I was supposed to go up there today with dd and have lunch with him but dd has a fever so we couldn't.





Quoting CorpCityGrl:



I would not be okay with her.



I would sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you are uncomfortable with their relationship.  Have you met her before?  Has he made an effort for you two to meet?  I'm all for friendships, but if it's like this then I would be suspicious.



 



 



LynBoz
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:49 PM
Go with you gut. Tell him that just because he isn't sleeping with her it doesn't mean he isn't having an affair, he is being emotionally unfaithful. If he keeps brushing you off then you're going to have to figure out what your bottom line is and lay it out for him.


Quoting Anonymous:

What do I do than?? I've tried talking to him but I get nowhere.



Quoting LynBoz:

That's what it sounds like. I wouldn't think he would talk about her if it was physical. Not saying he doesn't find her attractive, but he may be using her as an emotional outlet which can lead to more.





My husbands ex did this to him with a co worker. It's was an emotional affair and it turned into a full blown affair when he deployed and she ended up pregnant by the guy.





So, I would try to get to the bottom of it before something happens, it seems like it may be headed down that road.






Quoting Anonymous:

So he may just be connecting with her emotionally?







Quoting LynBoz:

You shouldn't have anything to be jealous of and I would tell him that when he wants to push your feelings off as jealousy. Tell him that he shouldn't be giving you a reason to be jealous, he should be making other women jealous of you by the way he treats you.









The going to her with issues thing could lead to an emotional affair if nothing else.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:49 PM
He has a brother. He's never been one to talk to girls. I was the one who started talking to him when we first got together. He has always been friends with men.

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to do that, he just felt more comfortable talking to women. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't appropriate. He doesn't do it anymore, at all. Granted he isn't working in the same place anymore, but I just want you to know just because he's doing this doesn't mean he likes her like that. Does he have any brothers or just sisters? My dh only has a sister, which I've learned, made him more comfortable around females than it did males. 

dee1603
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:49 PM
It's very common.

When I worked at a corp everyone had a work husband or work wife.

Relax. Seriously. Invite her over.


Quoting Anonymous:

Work wife? I think not. He only needs one wife. Me.



Quoting dee1603:

It's his work wife. Invite her over for dinner.





Work wives make the best bff's to home wives.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:50 PM

Then that is weird. Do you know how old this woman is? 

Quoting Anonymous:

He has a brother. He's never been one to talk to girls. I was the one who started talking to him when we first got together. He has always been friends with men.

Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to do that, he just felt more comfortable talking to women. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't appropriate. He doesn't do it anymore, at all. Granted he isn't working in the same place anymore, but I just want you to know just because he's doing this doesn't mean he likes her like that. Does he have any brothers or just sisters? My dh only has a sister, which I've learned, made him more comfortable around females than it did males. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:52 PM
I have pretty good instincts when it comes to people. He tells me all time I've never been wrong about something. And I know when I'm being lied to. I'm not saying he's physically cheating but it's definitely not your normal coworker friendship.

Quoting Anonymous:

After your edit, my advice is just to stay quiet and observe, and something will eventually come to light, or he can be applying at other jobs. I just don't think it's as innocent as he says, and you don't either as his wife, so you're probably right. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:52 PM
Like 2-4 years older than us I think.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then that is weird. Do you know how old this woman is? 

Quoting Anonymous:

He has a brother. He's never been one to talk to girls. I was the one who started talking to him when we first got together. He has always been friends with men.



Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to do that, he just felt more comfortable talking to women. It took him a while to realize that it wasn't appropriate. He doesn't do it anymore, at all. Granted he isn't working in the same place anymore, but I just want you to know just because he's doing this doesn't mean he likes her like that. Does he have any brothers or just sisters? My dh only has a sister, which I've learned, made him more comfortable around females than it did males. 


chas1217
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:52 PM

My df did this when he first started the job he is at now. He talked about one of the girls he works with all the time, he didn't go to her with his problems but he talked about her alot. I talked to him, he assured me I had nothing to worry about, that he just got along with her and they had to spend time together, they work together. He works with alot of women at this job. The first chance he had for me to go meet her, he took me to meet her, I felt much better. I really like her now actually lol. But I talked to him about it, he stopped doing it as much too. Also I had to realize, he did have to spend time with her, and he was excited about the new job. sometimes him telling me about the job involved him talking about her. I guess it would really depend on what he was saying about her all the time? It would also bother me that when you bring it up he blows it off and tells you to stop being jealous.

armstrong7984
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:52 PM

communication is very important, and you want to know that you are being heard and to me it seems like he doesnt wanna hear it. maybe he doesnt realize that hes crossing boundaries and maybe he doesnt realize that hes already emotional cheating on you....sometimes guys are ditzy. You need to do something to get him to be able to hear you and if sitting down talking doesnt help then maybe bring him to a couples counselor or pack your stuff and leave for a week or a day or two till he finaly gets what hes doing is NOT okay and that you arent going to be okay with him cheating on you in anyway.


 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think there is. Not physically anyways. He's never done this before. I just don't know how to talk to him about it anymore. I've tried a dozen times.

Quoting armstrong7984:

Well do you think somethings going on between them or potential will be soon? You would be the one to really know. i mean has he done this in the past?


he sounds a bit infauctuated with her to me,  or abit obsessive. And i def think its good to nip this right in the butt while you still can. before he does take it one step closer


Quoting Anonymous:

We have been. I've been wanting to move back to where we just moved from. So he's been looking for a job there. He's also applying here because we just need more money so he's trying to find something better so that's good. But I'm still worried. I try to not be the jealous type but it's hard when she's all he talks about.


Quoting armstrong7984:


ya......to wierd i think if my dh wanted me to meet a girl he was working with i would be a bit taken back, even if you think shes nasty and you put it in the back of your mind that he wouldnt ever even touch her, he still could. I would really see if he could get a different job..



Quoting Anonymous:

I should be able to tomorrow. She seems nice from what he's said. She knows about me and he says she's always asking how me and dd are but idk. I still don't like it.



Quoting CorpCityGrl:



Okay, when you get a chance then go and meet her.  However, still communicate to your husband that you are not comfortable with their relationship and that you don't like the fact that you go to her when he has a problem.  THAT in and of itself is a problem! 




Quoting Anonymous:

He wants me to meet her. I was supposed to go up there today with dd and have lunch with him but dd has a fever so we couldn't.





Quoting CorpCityGrl:



I would not be okay with her.



I would sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you are uncomfortable with their relationship.  Have you met her before?  Has he made an effort for you two to meet?  I'm all for friendships, but if it's like this then I would be suspicious.



 



 


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:54 PM
Do you really think that would be a good idea?

Quoting dee1603:

It's very common.



When I worked at a corp everyone had a work husband or work wife.



Relax. Seriously. Invite her over.




Quoting Anonymous:

Work wife? I think not. He only needs one wife. Me.





Quoting dee1603:

It's his work wife. Invite her over for dinner.







Work wives make the best bff's to home wives.
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