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Who is right? Mom or The School??

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:25 PM
  • 69 Replies

 After seeing the actual interview I think the mom is the issue, not the girls, not their anxiety, and not the school.

Mother angry twin daughters, age 6, separated by school district despite anxiety

 
Child psychologist: Twins shouldn't be separated
 
Posted: 12/04/2012
Last Updated: 21 minutes ago

CICERO, Ind. - A Cicero mother is fighting to bring her twin daughters back together in the classroom.

The Hamilton Heights school district made the decision to separate the 6-year-olds, who are in the first grade.

As the Call 6 Investigators have learned, the Indiana Department of Education has no policy as to whether twin students should be kept together or separate, instead leaving it up to the individual school corporation to make the call.

In Minnesota, parents have the power to choose whether their twins be separated or together in the classroom.

Ahli and Amiya Buzan of Cicero were born five minutes apart, and they share a bond so close, they sleep in the same bed.

"To grow literally from day one together, it forms something we can never understand," said mother Jen Buzan.

For the first nine weeks at Hamilton Heights Primary School, the twins were put in separate classrooms.

"They were both showing great anxiety," said Buzan. "Instead of concentrating on school work, they were wondering what the other one was doing. Amiya was waking up every morning faking physical ailments to not go to school."

Buzan appealed to school leaders, even including a letter from a child psychologist showing the twins have anxiety and should not be in different classrooms.

"At this time, this twin set is not ready to be separated," read a Nov. 12th letter from Dr. Sara Davis of KisPsych, Inc. "It is our recommendation that their special needs be taken into consideration for this school year as well as subsequent years."

Buzan said the principal, superintendent and school board all decided it was best to separate the twins.

"They are six years old," said Buzan. "We did not ask to break or bend a rule. All we asked was they be placed in a classroom together."

Hamilton Heights superintendent Tony Cook refused an interview with Call 6 Investigator Kara Kenney but responded via email.

"As most schools do when placing students in classrooms each year, the building teaching staff and administration examine and analyze each student's academic and social skill development from the previous year and then make placement based on the needs of the students," read the email from Cook. "That was done in this case, and it was determined that the twins would benefit from separate classroom placement."

The principal, superintendent and school board all agreed the twins should be separated.

Cook also pointed out that special allowances had been made for the twins to be together for two hours of each school day.

Buzan said that time included reading, lunch, recess and time on the bus.

She has pulled the twins out of school and is now homeschooling them.

"We had to do what's in their best interest," said Buzan. "Them being together is what’s in their best interest."

The research on the issue is mixed, but Buzan said she is totally open to the twins being schooled separately when they're a little older.

She's joining hundreds of other Hoosier parents who are signing a petition to the state legislature in the hopes of changing Indiana law to include parental input on twin separation.

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pnukey
by Jenn on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:28 PM

I have seen it both ways. I had 1 of a set of third grade twins who did terrible when they were separated the year before. They got physically ill. As they got older, they were OK to be apart. This year, I have two sets of twins, one of each set (if that makes sense) and they are totally fine, but they are older too.

The school could have put them back together. It doesn't sound like they were ready to be apart.

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM
2 moms liked this
What happens when they get into the real world? They can't be joined at the hip forever.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mom2four1978
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM

I think mom is right. They tried separating them and it didn't work. The school shouldn't even be putting up a fight. Its a stupid waste of time and energy. Instead they should use this time when the twins are young to begin slowly separating them. Buy sitting them at different tables, different reading groups, ect...

My DD is in first grade. In pre-k and K she had a set of twins in her class. And what I described above is what our school did. Now the girls are in separate 1st grade classes and seem fine.

MandaRose83
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:31 PM
3 moms liked this

I find the mother ridiculous. You are enabling these girls to be reliant on one another for the rest of their lives. I understand twins share a special bond but they are also their own individual people and they should be allowed to explore that and grow as individual people. They should have been seperated from from the start of kindergarten if not preschool. There is a reason schools do this. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:33 PM
3 moms liked this
I am a twin and I hate when "experts" or worse yet school personnel try to say what is right for twins. Each set of twins is unique and the only experts who should get to say what is best are the parents!
kngarber
by Katie on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:36 PM

 This is my point, but I try to keep in mind they are only 6 and I don't have twins.  However at what point do you just teach them to just handle the issue?  What good is it doing them to rip them out of school and make them a damn media circus?  How is THAT good for anxiety?  I went to school with a lot of twins and a set of triplets.  None of them were ever in the same class.   I really think this is a problem the mom is having.  By her interview I am willing to bet the psychologist said whatever she wanted to shut her up...seriously.

Quoting owl0210:

What happens when they get into the real world? They can't be joined at the hip forever.

 

CABZS
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:36 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't believe it should be up to the schools.

Thankfully our's leave it to the parents.  My 2 friends have twins.  The first set started school last year & my friend chose to just keep them together bc they are so very close.

My other friend, her twins started this year & she wanted them separated at first but after 2 weeks she knew & the teachers knew it was not in the best interest of the children & they were placed in the same classroom.

I do not like when schools always think they know best!  I'm glad the mom didn't just let it go.

macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:37 PM
1 mom liked this
But why should the school get to decide when they should be separated?


Quoting owl0210:

What happens when they get into the real world? They can't be joined at the hip forever.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CABZS
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Eventually they would want a bit of their own life, typically twins will start to separate on their own to an extent.

Hubby's cousins even went to college together.  One is Army now the other is a teacher in their home state, they are 22hrs away from each other.  Further when one was deployed.  They are just fine, perfectly well rounded adults.

Quoting kngarber:

 This is my point, but I try to keep in mind they are only 6 and I don't have twins.  However at what point do you just teach them to just handle the issue?  What good is it doing them to rip them out of school and make them a damn media circus?  How is THAT good for anxiety?  I went to school with a lot of twins and a set of triplets.  None of them were ever in the same class.   I really think this is a problem the mom is having.  By her interview I am willing to bet the psychologist said whatever she wanted to shut her up...seriously.

Quoting owl0210:

What happens when they get into the real world? They can't be joined at the hip forever.

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:42 PM
2 moms liked this

Why should they have been separated?

Funny how so many know what is best for twins.  I'm not a twin but had twins as friends, my friends have twins, we have twins in the family & their relationships are not something anyone can understand.

There is no reason to separate them, none.  I've never known a school to force this.

Quoting MandaRose83:

I find the mother ridiculous. You are enabling these girls to be reliant on one another for the rest of their lives. I understand twins share a special bond but they are also their own individual people and they should be allowed to explore that and grow as individual people. They should have been seperated from from the start of kindergarten if not preschool. There is a reason schools do this. 


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