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F*** THE DR! IM DONE! update appt made

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Update 2 : 

I made an appointment today with a new rheumatologist. I go in a few weeks. We will see how this goes. wish me luck

update 1:    

EDIT: I have osteoarthritis and possibly fibromyalgia 

Also, i have some discs that are malformed but the doctor said those should not be causing any pain.

I think I will see a rheumatologist. I just called my PCP and asked for a referral. 

IM SICK OF LIVING IN PAIN EVERY DAY. DAY IN AND DAY OUT. IM MISERABLE. I have multiple medical conditions that cause chronic back and joint pain and I am just done. My dr. is undertreating the pain and refuses to write anything more to help with the pain. I am tired of following that dr.'s orders on how to take the pain medication. I have been more than compliant and patient for over two years trying to figure out what is going on and getting the meds straightened out. The dr. still will not write more medication and the amount I am on is a freaking joke. I take it in the AM just to get out of the f*cking bed and get my kid off to school in the morning. I get a couple of hours of pain relief, believe me I take advantage of this time because if I don't nothing will get done here. After that, all I do is live in misery. So, I have decided that instead of having a couple hours of pain relief each day, I will take the medication every 4-6 hours as needed instead of once daily. (it is not an extended release medication and it is usually written for 4-6 hrs even says on the bottle to take that way) I will run out after a week or two but I would rather have a week or two of my old life back than have a couple hours each day and then follow up with miserable pain. I'm going to hate myself when I run out, but DAMMIT IM SICK OF IT. My kids are suffering because I am MEAN when I am in such pain and when I am not mean I'm just laying on the couch shifting and squirming because I am hurting so bad. Mommy want to go to the park? Fuck no. I'm just gonna lay here and wish for death to come swiftly. but it never does. It never fucking does. Nope, not with what God has decided to punish me with. I'm just gonna wish for it but it will never come. I hate myself. I hate my body and I hate this life. My kids aren't happy and neither am I. I need to go to work but my god I know I can't make it through a shift without taking more medication. I went to a birthday party last weekend, I have paid for that ever since. I don't go to the park with the kids anymore, hell I don't even let them go outside anymore. (they are both under 5) I just can't chase after them and pick them up, or swing them, or anything. I certainly can't stand for long periods of time and I damn sure can't sit in a lawn chair. God help me. I just want out of this. 

Before you suggest I go to another doctor think about this, I have been seeking a diagnosis for this crap for at least 7 years. I finally got a diagnosis (at least for one thing, the other thing the dr. just keeps saying I have all but ONE of the symptoms needed for the diagnosis of) The main thing that has kept me with this doc is that I don't want to look like a druggie just looking for pain pills. I don't want to be one of those people who look like they are doctor shopping. I just want ONE doctor to go to. I want that ONE doctor to do their job and fix me. at this point I would be happy if they just put a damn epidural in for life and stick my ass in a wheelchair. Just numb it all from the neck down. I don't care. Just take away the pain. 

Oh yea, because it is cafemom I will say this: if you come in here and you have never lived with chronic pain or you think everyone is a  drug addict, just leave. Don't waste my time with your stupid snotty hateful remarks. your ignorant and I don't want to hear it. 

I'm going to take a lortab. 

If you live in pain and just want to bitch about it, comment below.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:09 AM

Wow.  I'm sorry - I can't imagine living like that.  :(

Have you looked into more natural pain management?  I don't know what that would be, or even if it could help with your situation (since we don't know your Dx), but maybe some sort of herbs or acupuncture would help?  I hope you find some peace.

by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM
i would still go to another dr and get a second opinion. obviously the dr you are seeing is not working out. a good dr will know the difference if you are really in pain or an addict. its worth trying. good luck and im sorry you are in so much pain.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:13 AM
iI was going to suggest this too. I have nerve damage and now have a spinal cord stimulator to help with pain. Some don't understand that pain meds can make some pain worse. Not only that but your body gets use to it and you need higher doses which can be unhealthy.

Quoting Jlfulford2:


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM

I could have written this. Your post has made me tear up. This is me too! BIG,BIG HUGS!

 "I'm just gonna lay here and wish for death to come swiftly. but it never does. It never fucking does." I have said this so many times. I do not wish to have a long fact if today was to be my last be it.

by Knitting Maniac on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM

 I have  a painful disease too, but My Dr has promised I will never be in pain. I get 360 pills every 3 months. 

Have you tried a Pain Specialist? I know it would be nice to only have 1 Dr, but in todays world Dr's all seem to specialize.  

by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM
If you've stuck with this doctor for this long, and you have complied with this doctor for as long as you have, you really should interview a new doctor. A competent doctor is going to realize you are not drug seeking. A competent doctor will work with you to improve your quality of life. You deserve, and have the right, to have more of a say in your medical care. Don't let this doctor you see now to rob you of your right.
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:15 AM

My sister had pain in her back so bad she could not move she was like you and no one could find the problem ,she has a low t5 dic missing from her back that cause a lot of pain .Have you went to the ER sometimes they are better then a family doc ,and they coud give you more pills .Where do you live at .I hope you feel better.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:18 AM

I am working to be a massage therapist, and what I have studied, that is hell everyday of your life, and I am so sorry you are suffering.  I hope you can hopefully find someone else (don't give up hope!) that takes you seriously and gets you up and working better with minimal pain!  I wish you the best!

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Quoting dtristan78:

Have you been treated for fibromyaglia? I'm not sure what your conditions are but chronic pain and lower back pain could be fibro.
I have fibro and have 10 years and numerous doctors, ineas sent to Rhuemotologist and he's helping.
Good luck and I'm sorry you hurt so badly.

My doctor says that I don't have all the "points" for a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I am only missing two points. I actually do hurt there it's just not as bad as the others. 

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:19 AM

Two words.... PAIN MANAGEMENT.... those doctors will give you the pain medication that you need.  Good luck Mama.

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