Update 2 :
I made an appointment today with a new rheumatologist. I go in a few weeks. We will see how this goes. wish me luck
EDIT: I have osteoarthritis and possibly fibromyalgia
Also, i have some discs that are malformed but the doctor said those should not be causing any pain.
I think I will see a rheumatologist. I just called my PCP and asked for a referral.
IM SICK OF LIVING IN PAIN EVERY DAY. DAY IN AND DAY OUT. IM MISERABLE. I have multiple medical conditions that cause chronic back and joint pain and I am just done. My dr. is undertreating the pain and refuses to write anything more to help with the pain. I am tired of following that dr.'s orders on how to take the pain medication. I have been more than compliant and patient for over two years trying to figure out what is going on and getting the meds straightened out. The dr. still will not write more medication and the amount I am on is a freaking joke. I take it in the AM just to get out of the f*cking bed and get my kid off to school in the morning. I get a couple of hours of pain relief, believe me I take advantage of this time because if I don't nothing will get done here. After that, all I do is live in misery. So, I have decided that instead of having a couple hours of pain relief each day, I will take the medication every 4-6 hours as needed instead of once daily. (it is not an extended release medication and it is usually written for 4-6 hrs even says on the bottle to take that way) I will run out after a week or two but I would rather have a week or two of my old life back than have a couple hours each day and then follow up with miserable pain. I'm going to hate myself when I run out, but DAMMIT IM SICK OF IT. My kids are suffering because I am MEAN when I am in such pain and when I am not mean I'm just laying on the couch shifting and squirming because I am hurting so bad. Mommy want to go to the park? Fuck no. I'm just gonna lay here and wish for death to come swiftly. but it never does. It never fucking does. Nope, not with what God has decided to punish me with. I'm just gonna wish for it but it will never come. I hate myself. I hate my body and I hate this life. My kids aren't happy and neither am I. I need to go to work but my god I know I can't make it through a shift without taking more medication. I went to a birthday party last weekend, I have paid for that ever since. I don't go to the park with the kids anymore, hell I don't even let them go outside anymore. (they are both under 5) I just can't chase after them and pick them up, or swing them, or anything. I certainly can't stand for long periods of time and I damn sure can't sit in a lawn chair. God help me. I just want out of this.
Before you suggest I go to another doctor think about this, I have been seeking a diagnosis for this crap for at least 7 years. I finally got a diagnosis (at least for one thing, the other thing the dr. just keeps saying I have all but ONE of the symptoms needed for the diagnosis of) The main thing that has kept me with this doc is that I don't want to look like a druggie just looking for pain pills. I don't want to be one of those people who look like they are doctor shopping. I just want ONE doctor to go to. I want that ONE doctor to do their job and fix me. at this point I would be happy if they just put a damn epidural in for life and stick my ass in a wheelchair. Just numb it all from the neck down. I don't care. Just take away the pain.
Oh yea, because it is cafemom I will say this: if you come in here and you have never lived with chronic pain or you think everyone is a drug addict, just leave. Don't waste my time with your stupid snotty hateful remarks. your ignorant and I don't want to hear it.
I'm going to take a lortab.
If you live in pain and just want to bitch about it, comment below.