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F*** THE DR! IM DONE! update appt made

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Update 2 : 

I made an appointment today with a new rheumatologist. I go in a few weeks. We will see how this goes. wish me luck

update 1:    

EDIT: I have osteoarthritis and possibly fibromyalgia 

Also, i have some discs that are malformed but the doctor said those should not be causing any pain.

I think I will see a rheumatologist. I just called my PCP and asked for a referral. 

IM SICK OF LIVING IN PAIN EVERY DAY. DAY IN AND DAY OUT. IM MISERABLE. I have multiple medical conditions that cause chronic back and joint pain and I am just done. My dr. is undertreating the pain and refuses to write anything more to help with the pain. I am tired of following that dr.'s orders on how to take the pain medication. I have been more than compliant and patient for over two years trying to figure out what is going on and getting the meds straightened out. The dr. still will not write more medication and the amount I am on is a freaking joke. I take it in the AM just to get out of the f*cking bed and get my kid off to school in the morning. I get a couple of hours of pain relief, believe me I take advantage of this time because if I don't nothing will get done here. After that, all I do is live in misery. So, I have decided that instead of having a couple hours of pain relief each day, I will take the medication every 4-6 hours as needed instead of once daily. (it is not an extended release medication and it is usually written for 4-6 hrs even says on the bottle to take that way) I will run out after a week or two but I would rather have a week or two of my old life back than have a couple hours each day and then follow up with miserable pain. I'm going to hate myself when I run out, but DAMMIT IM SICK OF IT. My kids are suffering because I am MEAN when I am in such pain and when I am not mean I'm just laying on the couch shifting and squirming because I am hurting so bad. Mommy want to go to the park? Fuck no. I'm just gonna lay here and wish for death to come swiftly. but it never does. It never fucking does. Nope, not with what God has decided to punish me with. I'm just gonna wish for it but it will never come. I hate myself. I hate my body and I hate this life. My kids aren't happy and neither am I. I need to go to work but my god I know I can't make it through a shift without taking more medication. I went to a birthday party last weekend, I have paid for that ever since. I don't go to the park with the kids anymore, hell I don't even let them go outside anymore. (they are both under 5) I just can't chase after them and pick them up, or swing them, or anything. I certainly can't stand for long periods of time and I damn sure can't sit in a lawn chair. God help me. I just want out of this. 

Before you suggest I go to another doctor think about this, I have been seeking a diagnosis for this crap for at least 7 years. I finally got a diagnosis (at least for one thing, the other thing the dr. just keeps saying I have all but ONE of the symptoms needed for the diagnosis of) The main thing that has kept me with this doc is that I don't want to look like a druggie just looking for pain pills. I don't want to be one of those people who look like they are doctor shopping. I just want ONE doctor to go to. I want that ONE doctor to do their job and fix me. at this point I would be happy if they just put a damn epidural in for life and stick my ass in a wheelchair. Just numb it all from the neck down. I don't care. Just take away the pain. 

Oh yea, because it is cafemom I will say this: if you come in here and you have never lived with chronic pain or you think everyone is a  drug addict, just leave. Don't waste my time with your stupid snotty hateful remarks. your ignorant and I don't want to hear it. 

I'm going to take a lortab. 

If you live in pain and just want to bitch about it, comment below.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Replies (41-50):
by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:38 AM

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I went through three doctors before I finally found one that would help with my endometriosis. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of pain every day. I would highly recommend finding a different doctor. One that will recognize that you are truly in pain & not just seeking. It took me passing out at work and again later at the doctor's office because I was in so much pain for my doctor to realize that ibuprofen wasn't doing jack. 

Also don't be surprised if someone comes & accuses you of being an addict. I made a couple posts when I was in a lot of pain, or when switching doctors about being afraid that I wouldn't have enough & that I'd be in so much pain that I'd pass out again & *SOME* people still try to use that against me. :/ I just had another surgery and was so proud of myself for only being on the pain killers for 4 days after. Before that I hadn't had any since June when I had my uterine ablation done. I really hope you are able to find someone to help you. 

by Bronze Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:39 AM

I am the same way. There are day's that I want to die. My family lives a very long time and I start crying when I think that I could live 90 years with all this pain. I can't deal with the thought at all.

Quoting PinkyPan:

I could have written this. Your post has made me tear up. This is me too! BIG,BIG HUGS!

 "I'm just gonna lay here and wish for death to come swiftly. but it never does. It never fucking does." I have said this so many times. I do not wish to have a long fact if today was to be my last be it.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him into your signature to help him gain world domination.
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:39 AM
I was just going to suggest this. Maybe not smoke it, bake some cookies. It's so much more healthy for you than any narcotic.

Op, I'm a pain management nurse (BSN) and I have my CRNA (MSN). But most importantly I've been through the ringer with pain. Pm if you want. I can help you.

Quoting Anonymous:

 You should just start smoking weed... Seriously.  The meanness is probably from wanting more pain meds.  I have close family members who are addicted to pills and they are MEAN when they are coming down.

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by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:41 AM
This. Exactly.

Quoting bmw29:

Switching doctors doesn't necessarily make you look like a drug seeker, it makes you look like a lady unhappy with the services she is paying for. You have to be comfortable and happy with all aspects of your doctors performance. I know most people don't realize this but the doctor works for you!

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by Silver Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:41 AM

My mother in law sees a rhuemotologist. When the pains first started for her the normal docs were telling her that she wasnt severe enough for fibro too. It took a year of fighting and then one visit to her rhuemotologist and she was diagnosed and on proper meds. One thing about fibro is that it is not a specific diagnoses. It is basically the go to diagnosis for unexplained joint pains if I remember correctly. I would suggest you find yourself a good rhuemotologist and go from there hun. Good luck and I hope you find the help you need!

O and you won't look like a drug seeker over changing docs. You just need to explain to them what your old doc has been doind and why you are looking for second opinion and/or new doc. Also get a copy of all of your medical records from your current doc and take them to your new doc with you.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting dtristan78:

Have you been treated for fibromyaglia? I'm not sure what your conditions are but chronic pain and lower back pain could be fibro.
I have fibro and have 10 years and numerous doctors, ineas sent to Rhuemotologist and he's helping.
Good luck and I'm sorry you hurt so badly.

My doctor says that I don't have all the "points" for a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I am only missing two points. I actually do hurt there it's just not as bad as the others. 

by Anonymous 15 on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:42 AM
((((hugs)))) BTDT. Same boat with pain issues. Can you get on a arthritis medication? I wish I could. I can not have anything that thins the blood. The inflammation is worse than the actual pain some days :/
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:42 AM

This is an ignorant statement. I will not smoke weed because it is illegal in my state. I will not do something as stupid as that and risk losing my children or going to JAIL. That's dumb advice to give someone if you dont know where they are from. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 You should just start smoking weed... Seriously.  The meanness is probably from wanting more pain meds.  I have close family members who are addicted to pills and they are MEAN when they are coming down.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:44 AM

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. But for some reason I get this strange feeling that you need to lose weight... Sometimes drs won't give you more meds if you're not doing your part in managing your health,

My BMI is 21. I'm not fat. 

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:45 AM
I have no advice, because I'm in a similar situation. I've had chronic lower back pain since I was 16yo & have been told for 14 years straight that I am "to young" to be in so much pain. :/

FINALLY a few years ago, a doctor agreed to do an x-ray of my back & found that I have degenerative disk disease & a large lump of scar tissue between vertebre L4 & L5. The scar tissue is growing & continues everyday to push on my disks.

Because I struggled with a pill addiction 7 years ago & was honest with my doctor about it, I get NO pain killers at all. I know it is healthier for me to not have access to pain meds, but it doesn't take away the constant pains that I endure on a daily basis. :(

There is no treatment or cure for my condition. I am simply forced to either live with it, or undergo a surgery that will remove the scar tissue. This will only be a temporary fix, since the scar tissue will continue to grow back & I will need repeated surgeries for the remainder of my life.

(Hugs) again! All I can say is that I completely understand your frustration! :(
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by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:45 AM
So, I didn't read all the replies. I would normally not say this, bit have you tried pot?
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