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DH never wants sex any more and it is really getting to me :(

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

To start off with I know he is not cheating...He goes to work and comes home...we have access to each others emails, passwords, cellphones ect..

DH would rather sit on the couch and stare at the damn TV then to be intimate with me :( I have tried to speak with him, I have tried to ask him for sex, I have tried to come on to him, I have bought lingerie and still he just doesn't seem interested..

It makes me feel undesired..I spend alot of nights on the couch crying because it just makes me feel like he is no longer interested in me...I have now gave up asking or trying to get him in the mood do to fear of rejection..I just no longer know what to do

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Thanks i didn't catch that...lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Intermit? LOL. It's Intimate.


MountieMama
by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM
I think it's a good idea. Really try to explain how his actions make you feel.


Quoting Anonymous:

I have tried talking to him about it many times and he really doesn't have alot to say except he does want me, he does desire me he does want sex with ect ect...He is all talk and no action and you know how that is action speaks louder then words...I think I will try writing a letter today and giving it to him..because this is really taking a toll on me emotionally


Quoting MountieMama:

Will he talk about it?



Maybe write him a letter? You can get your feelings out and it's not an emotional mess.



Remember to use "when you ______ it makes me feel _____" not things like "you don't love me " or you think I'm ugly". Those make people defensive.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM

We have no insurance or else i would have already had him do that :(

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell him to get his act together and go to the Doctor and get his testosterone checked.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM

My relationship is the same way. In the beginning it hurt a lot and I just wanted him to be like other men, always wanting it, because I always want it. But I just had to face the fact that that's not who I married. It still gets frustrating, but sex doesn't have to be a part of a healthy relationship.

mindymay84
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Maybe there's something medically wrong with him? I would have him go talk to a doctor...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:17 AM

It is more than likely depression then. Look into it.

Quoting Anonymous:

We have no insurance or else i would have already had him do that :(

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell him to get his act together and go to the Doctor and get his testosterone checked.



CrazyLife1996
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:17 AM
I agree with this testosterone plays a huge role but men are extremely embarrassed to talk about it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Tell him to get his act together and go to the Doctor and get his testosterone checked.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:19 AM

How did you get through? How did you get over the way it made you feel and the pain of it? I know sex doesn't have to be a major part in a healthy relationship, but my problem is making love to him is the only time I get to feel the closeness with him and the love from him...I feel hurt all the time because of the rejection and I don't understand why he would rather watch TV then to make love to me :(

Quoting Anonymous:

My relationship is the same way. In the beginning it hurt a lot and I just wanted him to be like other men, always wanting it, because I always want it. But I just had to face the fact that that's not who I married. It still gets frustrating, but sex doesn't have to be a part of a healthy relationship.


katiew2012
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:20 AM

And maybe you'd be surprised that not all men cheat.

Quoting Anonymous:

You would be surprised on how men find the time to cheat dear.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie, proud wife of a railroader, and a future mother-to-be! 

I only reply if I've been quoted, or I happen to look and see a response. So, if you want to discuss with me, please quote me. :) Thank-you and good day!


Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:22 AM

1.  How old are you guys?  Sometimes, the drive in a man goes down with age.  You could ask him to see the doctor to get his testosterone levels checked.
2.  Is he on any medications?  Many medications have sexual side effects, literally making it harder for the man to maintain an erection.  Or even get one!
3.  Are you in any life stresses right now?  Men are often affected by stress.  Too much stress, the drive goes down.  It could be work stress, holiday stress, financial, medical, etc...
4.  HAVE you let yourself go?  Be honest.  A man can still be very much in love with his wife, but that spark can dampen if she isn't taking care of her appearance.  Not saying you need to look like the day you met, but on a daily basis, you should cover the basics of hygiene and appearance. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I have tried talking to him about it many times and he really doesn't have alot to say except he does want me, he does desire me he does want sex with ect ect...He is all talk and no action and you know how that is action speaks louder then words...I think I will try writing a letter today and giving it to him..because this is really taking a toll on me emotionally

Quoting MountieMama:

Will he talk about it?

Maybe write him a letter? You can get your feelings out and it's not an emotional mess.

Remember to use "when you ______ it makes me feel _____" not things like "you don't love me " or you think I'm ugly". Those make people defensive.



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