Ever since my nephew died two years ago I cannot get my life back together. I sunk into a deep depression and lost my job and cannot keep a job to save my life. I used to have my shit together and I can't seem to do that anymore. I cannot stand having someone besides myself or my husband watching my kids. I am a little pissed because he decided to change jobs, which left us with a babysitting issue. I know I need to grow up. If I was on the outside looking in I would say "damn she is a loser". Our car isn't working, and my friend's bf who I let move in was supposed to fix it. They were about to be homeless. I don't want to take care of other people I cannot even take care of myself. I never pictured my life going this way. I am so disappointed in myself. I don't want to do anything, or go anywhere. I am so ready to give up but I know I can't. Hopefully I will get back into school and find a good job that I am good at. Until then I gotta keep hangin' on I guess. When I am not with my babies I worry so much about them. I can't hardly stand it when my mom takes them for the night. I am definitely crazy. Oh well.