Obviously I will continue to care for his daily needs but emotionally I'm checking out. I cant hold him 24/7 and I cant be awake 24/7. I have NO support system whatsoever. Even his dad can barely handle it anymore. It has been 4 months of pure hell and all our pediatrician says is "There's really nothing we can do, this will eventually pass."
We have tried gas drops, teething gel and Tylenol because we thought maybe he was teething, certain formula's, up'ing his meds for the reflux, he is swaddled at night (HAS to be to sleep at all) and when he gets really upset, we co-sleep because if I move him at all he wakes up and we start all over again, we tried baby wearing and it didnt work with a wrap or carrier, nothing has worked. We have every piece of baby gear you can imagine and he hates ALL of it.
I know I will get a lot of bashing and I dont care at this point. I have a breakdown every day so I dont really need your help. He is gaining weight appropriately, is healthy and is ahead in his milestones so I do take care of him, I just cant force myself to bond with this baby that screams alllllll the time.