I cant do it anymore

[Anonymous]

I cant handle my 18 week old anymore. It 5am right now and I have not slept for more than an hour. He is up every 20 minutes to an hour and it takes almost an hour to get him back to sleep. He has everything a baby can get; clogged tear ducts, cradle cap, severe acid reflux (he's on meds), colic, "high needs" (he screams EVERY time you put him down, before you even get your hands out from under him). He is breastfed and formula fed because he gets too impatient waiting for letdowns and will bite down and then rip off of my nipple. I have PPD and cannot take the 1 medication my midwife will prescribe because it makes me suicidal and I am so sleep deprived I just cant handle this anymore.

Obviously I will continue to care for his daily needs but emotionally I'm checking out. I cant hold him 24/7 and I cant be awake 24/7. I have NO support system whatsoever. Even his dad can barely handle it anymore. It has been 4 months of pure hell and all our pediatrician says is "There's really nothing we can do, this will eventually pass."

We have tried gas drops, teething gel and Tylenol because we thought maybe he was teething, certain formula's, up'ing his meds for the reflux, he is swaddled at night (HAS to be to sleep at all) and when he gets really upset, we co-sleep because if I move him at all he wakes up and we start all over again, we tried baby wearing and it didnt work with a wrap or carrier, nothing has worked. We have every piece of baby gear you can imagine and he hates ALL of it.

I know I will get a lot of bashing and I dont care at this point. I have a breakdown every day so I dont really need your help. He is gaining weight appropriately, is healthy and is ahead in his milestones so I do take care of him, I just cant force myself to bond with this baby that screams alllllll the time.

[harpsichord]

i'm sorry :(

[Anonymous]

Wow....I can't imagine :(

[pregomom468]

in bet you will bond with him afer this hump is over and you will realize you loved him all along you were just frustrated. it sounds like you need a break.... you know no one would blame you for sending him to daycare for a few hrs a week just t get some "me time". it really could give you a whole different out look and more patience to get some space three days a week for a few hrs. but if you ever need to vent you can message me :) good luck momma

[tth328]

Have you tried wearing him? Like using a moby or sleepy wrap?

[mommy2ahero06]

Hang in there mummy!

[Anonymous]

Take him to a chiropractor

[Anonymous]

No bashing from me. I've been there. It's frustrating when you do anything and everything you can and they still aren't happy. Sound like you need a mommy day.

[JenB1983]

I'm sorry momma. :-( While my youngest wasn't *that* bad, the first six months were pretty horrific. He was also an extremely high needs infant with colic. He insisted on being attached to my boob for the majority of the day. And from the time he was born, I swear he only needed half the amount of sleep they say he needed.

Things dd finally get better....... But I also learned that setting him down wasn't going to kill him. Every now and then I needed 5-10 minutes, so into his crib he went, and right out into the backyard I went.

[Anonymous]

Bump

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I really do love him. Even after writing this he smiled at me and my heart broke. I've been crying for an hour so far this morning. I really want to be able to love him every second and not reach my breaking point multiple times a day. Maybe daycare is a good idea.
:-[

Quoting pregomom468:

in bet you will bond with him afer this hump is over and you will realize you loved him all along you were just frustrated. it sounds like you need a break.... you know no one would blame you for sending him to daycare for a few hrs a week just t get some "me time". it really could give you a whole different out look and more patience to get some space three days a week for a few hrs. but if you ever need to vent you can message me :) good luck momma