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If a couple had a surrogate mother, who do you throw a baby shower for *update*

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the couple who's going to have the baby or the surrogate who carries the baby for 9 months?

Doesn't the surrogate deserve something?


**wow! this is the 3rd post of mine in 6 months that has been featured on the the front page of cafemom.

=D

**why do you ladies assume that the surrogate gets paid? that's not always true.

I never got paid when I was a surrogate. Honestly, I got a thank you card and they took me out to a restaurant because that's the only thing they could afford.

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Replies (21-30):
sucker4myloves
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this

The baby shower swag obviously needs to be for the parents, who are going to be the ones using baby items that are gifted. But the RIGHT thing to do would be to include the surrogate mom if she so wishes, and get her a little something to, after all, they would not be able to have a baby without her.

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Mrsfarr
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this
The couple is getting the baby, they deserve the shower. Although, a gift for the surrogate would be nice too and definitely not frowned upon.
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BabyGsMommy11
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this
The parents. The surrogate attends. The parents get the surrogate a token gift.
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anxiousschk
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM
2 moms liked this

The couple gets the shower.  The surrogate doesn't "get" anything other than helping a family.  Anything else is between the couple and the surrogate. 

ForeverInLove
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM
3 moms liked this

Why not both?!

Have baby supplies go to the mother who will be using them for the child. Have people bring something small for the mother giving birth. After all, she may not be caring for te child in the end, but she's still going to be sore. She likely has some children of her own to care for, and will still be tired. 

usmc.momma
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I always assumed baby showers were for the BABY...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this

The shower is for the baby. I think surrogate moms get monetary compensation.  Plus, I don't recall getting anything for me at a shower for the baby. What would she need anything for anyhow, as she is not taking a baby home with her.  Your question is silly to me.

MamaSwan001
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:53 PM

The couple the baby shower isn't for the the mother it is for the baby the people who are going to have the baby need the supplies. But I do think it would be sweet for the couple to get a gift for the surrogate but that is up to them

marinenonstop
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

No offense, but why would a surrogate need a shower if they're not keeping the baby? The parents deserve the shower but of course they should at least acknowledged and perhaps the parents should give her a gift to help with labor.

CjEmmemommy
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:55 PM
2 moms liked this

I would throw a shower for the soon to be parents.

 As the soon to be parents I would throw a party for the surrogate where she would hopefully get gifts she can use after baby like a message, new jogging shoes, gift cards ect.

 A baby shower would be silly for a women who won't keep the baby but I woud def do something to celebrate what she is doing  for my family!

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