Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ETA- I hit my mom... long

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Though there are many extra details throughout the post, the final update is on page 17.

Thank you so much to those who were here when I needed someone.

My mother is visiting for four days. Today was the second day. She told me that she had randomly met someone at the grocery store while she was out. She said it had been forever and we had all parted ways on tense terms but it has been years so she thinks it would be nice if we mended the rifts and became friends again. What she doesn't know is when I was 12-14 he molested me multiple times a day, every day my mother was at work. Thank god he apparently had a vasectomy because it all caused me to start my period and I lost count of how many times he did it. My mother even had me sleep over at his house while she went on a vacation for almost a week. I never told her. I was young, stupid, ashamed, and afraid that other people would think I was a whore because I had had sex with a man more than 4 times my age.

So I flat out refuse to contact him and start freaking out that she might tell him where I am (When we moved I left him a note that if he ever came near me again he would go to jail but I know he looked for me). She naturally starts getting annoyed and thinks I'm being irrational and mean. She demands to know why. She doesn't stop asking and we argue so much that I finally shouted "because he molested me, mom!" She stands there looking stunned and, feeling very shaken by the knowledge that I can't un-say those words, tell her "Every time you left for more than 5 minutes he would have sex with me. Whenever you went to work it happened multiple times while you were gone. I don't want him anywhere near me ever again... much less (2 yo dd)"

She stared at me for a few minutes. My heart is pounding. I expected her to be understanding, even comforting, about this subject that I had never told to anyone. To ask why I never told her or that she was going to kill him or something. But no. She starts going off the deep end yelling "I fucking knew you were fucking him" and "I knew you were a fucking slut but I didn't know you were that fucking disgusting." After less than a minute of this crap, at the height of her tirade, I slapped her. I was so angry and hurt I just wanted to cry and I slapped her with every ounce of force I could muster. She shut up and before she could say anything I screamed at her to get out of my house. When she didn't move I shoved her and kept screaming it and shoving until she was out the door. I threw her crap out after her and sat down and cried. After a minute or two DD started crying I guess we must have woken her up from her nap. I did my best to calm down and went in after her. I looked out the window while I held her and my mother and her car were gone. I don't know where she is but I don't really care. She had plenty of money on her that she was going to spend on dd's Christmas shopping she could easily have gotten a room.

Now I can't sleep... I just keep replaying it over in my mind and it hurts more with every cycle. Yes in my teenage years I was promiscuous but I am no longer ashamed of that. I have worked very hard to get past my fucked up views on sex and find someone who makes me feel that sex and love actually do mix. What kind of fucking mother says that to their only daughter? She fucking knew it?!? She suspected that her daughter was having sex with a middle aged man and did fucking nothing? Here I half expected her to support me, maybe even help me find the strength to press charges like I've been talking to DH about. I can't believe this is what I got from her.

Merry Christmas....

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:02 AM
Replies (161-168):
Master_Debater
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh and to the cunt who said a 12-14 would tell, FUCK YOU!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PiNkIsPuNk
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Do you feel better? I have been raped too. Multiple times. I'm just finding this post hard to believe. She said that she was promiscuous as a teen and that she didn't want people to think she was a whore because she had sex with a guy more than 4 times her age. I'm sorry that things aren't adding up for me. There's no need to be hostile and start name calling. I'm sorry you felt the need to go there.

Quoting Master_Debater:

Omg you fucking ignoramus. My uncle RAPED me and my sister, know what his charge is? MOLESTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!







Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

She NEVER once said she was raped. Rape and molestation are two different things. She said he molested her while her mom was at work and that "everytime you left me for even 5 minutes he would have sex with me." Again she used the term SEX not RAPE and those are different too.





Quoting Anonymous:

 Oh wow she knows how to read.  BTW  I was paraphrasing(sp?) here this is what she really said;  when I was 12-14 he molested me multiple times a day, every day my mother was at work. So this is what happened to OP.




Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

No, she said he would have sex with her multiple times a day.




Quoting Anonymous:




 "I know how to read."   lol  yeah sure you do. Also the op said she was raped by him on a daily day more then one time a day.  Yea you know how to read.





Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

I know how read. Thanks though!





Quoting motherslove82:

Then you need to learn to read.







Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

So you fucked your mom's boyfriend when you were 12 and don't want people to think you're a whore so you told her he raped you? Seriously that's what I got out of that. O.O




 




 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sugarcrisp
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:21 PM

I wish you all the peace and luck in the world. I hope the statute of limitations are not up where you are.

I was molested for years and when I finally mustered the courage to go to the police, it was too late (it had been too long since the molestation stopped). It's a tough road to get past.

My bf was molested for a good portion of his lifetime as well and he's still very broken over it. Slow, long process, but not an impossible one to get through.

DEJavu17
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:31 PM
I was molested for 5 years by my stepfather (he was my dad, raised me since I was 2). My mothers response was "I tried to catch him". She knew deep down what was happening and didn't stop it. I was 14 when it started and almost 19 when I had enough. There was a lot of mental abuse and I was terrified to tell anyone. Its a hard a terrible thing to go through. I know how you feel op. I have a lot of pent up anger for my mother......I pray I never let it out, for the sake of her mental being anyway.

Hugs to you, and I hope you find some peace....
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Op-people are being fucking assholes.  Yep, I said it.  FUCKING ASSHOLES!!  I was molested/raped when I was 8 yrs old.  By a 15 yr old who told me I would get into trouble if I told.  He was my babysitter, and was very convincing to my mom that I was acting up.  So I would get into trouble from her.  I told a friend what was going on, and her mom called the police and my mom.  THANK GOD I WAS BELIEVED!  No child at 8 should know was sex is.

Sorry you had to go through that.  Sorry your mom is being a cunt.

Quoting Anonymous:

He wasn't my mother's boyfriend he was an older friend of hers. He would come over all the time  and when my mother wasn't around.... well I'm not sure how I'm supposed to say it since "have sex" is getting me so much static... I have never called it rape since he did not physically attack me but everyone seems up in arms about it not being "rape." They can swear up and down I was just being promiscuous but I thought I caught a glimpse of him once at that same store my mother went to and I ducked next to the pharmacy section, sat down on one of those blood pressure stations, and about had a mental breakdown. I was shaking, felt like I couldn't breath, and was horrified that he might have seen me. After having nightmares several nights a week where I couldn't go back to sleep all night afterwards I explained everything to dh, though he was not my dh at the time. I don't care what anyone says. I did not give myself to that person. Every time some idiot tries to convince me that I was just being a slut I remember how it makes me feel when I think about him knowing where my family and I are. I think about the fear of him knowing I have a daughter. Some people may or may not define it as rape, but whatever it was it was not right. I did not try to push him off. I did not hit, kick, bite, or scream, and I until yesterday I did not tell anyone, but it is not something I will ever consider consensual. Perhaps next time I'll make sure to get molested at age 3 so I can satisfy every idiot on this board since at 12 doing nothing more than cry and squirm means I was just being a dirtly little slut. People wonder why kids don't report these things.

Quoting littlesippycup:

Are you fucking kidding me? A 12 year old having sex is a seriously misguided child. A man taking advantage of a girl wanting to be loved is sick. You are fucked up.

Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

So you fucked your mom's boyfriend when you were 12 and don't want people to think you're a whore so you told her he raped you? Seriously that's what I got out of that. O.O




motherslove82
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 5:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Well, comprehension then.

Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

I know how read. Thanks though!



Quoting motherslove82:

Then you need to learn to read.





Quoting PiNkIsPuNk:

So you fucked your mom's boyfriend when you were 12 and don't want people to think you're a whore so you told her he raped you? Seriously that's what I got out of that. O.O
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:46 AM

So I had deliberately put this post out of my mind for Christmas and New Years.... it had helped me feel better when I needed it that weekend but I didn't think continuing the conversation or revisiting any of the posts would help with my Christmas spirits. I wouldn't answer my mother's calls but we talked alot through text message. I know its impersonal but it felt like the best way for me to stay calm. I didn't actually talk to her until after Christmas even though she sent a surprising flow of presents to not only dd daughter but to dh and I as well. I can't help but wonder where she got the funds (or where she thought dd was going to keep that play car). I think she felt really guilty and was showing some affection in the only way she really could at the time.

She apologized alot. She admitted that, when I was a teenager, she was very ashamed by my much too active sex life. She said she was trying to be supportive of me by just teaching me about safe sex because her mother had been so overbearing that she went out and had risque sex just to spite her, but deep down she had been very embarrassed by my behaviour. She told me that at that moment all of that had come flooding back and she hadn't even stopped to think about how I had not been like that until we moved to our new house. She said she figured it started because puberty was really taking effect physically so I was finally being accepted by boys at school and that I just too young and stupid to get past the excitement of sex. Many times she would say she felt as if she failed me. I told her I never blamed her for not seeing it. That it is hard to see anything when you work 12-16 hours 6-7 days a week. It was good money but she was hardly home except to sleep. She said it wasn't worth it plus we ended up spending it all for nothing after we moved. I think it made her feel a little better though. I, myself, am still not certain I'm over all of this but it feels like eventually I will be.

I want her to see dd again but I'm not sure I can interact with her right now. I suppose I could ask dh to take her for a visit but he isn't too happy with her either. Not to mention it would probably just emphasize to her that I'm not there. Maybe that doesn't matter.... I'm just unsure of which way to step next. I still have not brought up the charges but I am asking advice from one of the mother's on here on how to start. Hopefully she will be able to help keep me going when I want to just pull back and forget about it again.

I know there was some speculation on here... it almost seemed some of the responders were determined to convince everyone that I was a liar. It doesn't matter. What will mean the most to me is the responses of the supportive mothers here who comforted me and even defended me. Some of the words were not always pretty, but as we all well know the world is not a pretty place and sometimes you can only throw mud right back at people.

Thanks again ladies.

Kris_PBG
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:01 AM
Op- as a former rape crisis counselor, it is very clear what happened to you was rape and I am so sorry you went through that. Ignore the morons. I'm sorry your moms reaction was so hurtful. :(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)