Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would You Divorce Your DH If...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
He was never home and when he was y'all argued or just didn't talk? My dh works 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. The kids are usually in bed when he gets home so they hardly see him. I'm a sahm so I do everything around the house and with the kids. On the days he gets home at a decent time we are either arguing or its just silence. I had rather him not be here bc I almost hate being near him. The only thing that's stopping me is that he pays for everything. Bills, house payments, groceries, clothes, toys everything. I've never had a job so I know it would be hard for me to get one and provide for my kids. I'm at a crossroad...any advice? Counseling is not an option with his work schedule and stubbornness.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Replies (171-177):
by Emerald Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:41 PM're only staying with him for his paycheck? Wow.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:42 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Elyce225:

We do occasionally, maybe once a week. We've been trying to have another baby, I miscarried a few months ago. Now that he has this job idk if I want another bc he was always here to help with the first two but wouldn't be now. I tell him how I feel but it goes in one ear and out the other. I just wish I could give him a wake up call, like I'm not playing.

Oh that is tough.  I wouldn't want to have another baby with a man that is not around.  I would give him a wake up call if I were you.  Leave for a little bit.  Take the kids and go.  Maybe you two need time away to see if you both really want to still be with one another.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:44 PM
If your not happy,maybe your better off. Idk
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:47 PM

well then divorcing him because he works so much would be the last thing I would recommend..

#1 if you have some medical problem that stops you from working you are unable to provide. 

#2 it is unsafe for you to work but not be alone with a 2 and 4 year old 24-7? I'm not buying it. 

Sorry. I'm now calling a spade a spade. You can't be fucking serious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

I personally couldn't live like that, but I wouldn't know what to do in your position either. I am also a sahm who has never worked (I have as anxiety ), so I don't know how to make it on my own. I would leave and stay with my dad. That is what I would do.

I have juvenile myoclonic epilepsy so it would be hard for me to work also.

Its my body and I'll do what I want to.

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I always say being mommy and daddy is easy. Being husband and wife is a hard job and it takes work.

Why so many people don't understand that baffles me.

Quoting svolkov:

This. My husband works out of town 2/3 of the yr. We have 3 kids. We never fight. When hes home we spend as much qualitu time together as we can. U two just need to work harder on your marriage

Quoting CrazyLife1996:

No you both need to take a step back and give each other positive attention.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:02 AM

I don't believe in walking away without exhausting all options. Do you see hope for a happy future with him? Everything you described can be overcome. You guys have lost lines of communication and are in a rough rut. But, it can be worked through. It will take effort and committment from both of you, but you can do it. Little bit at a time. 

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:18 AM
My husband had the same work schedule a couple years back when things got busy at his job. Our lives were much the same as yours then (although we didn't have children at the time) and it was quite hard for me emotionally sometimes. After such long hours, all he wanted was to eat, sleep, and shower. There were times I felt unappreciated and unloved but when you take a step back and think,
he's been working for 12 hours, plus the stress of sitting in traffic to drive back and forth to those long hours. He's tired. Hell, I've been at home all day taking care of things for him and essentially working just as long as he has. I'm tired!
Everyone is worn thin. It really isn't worth separating (in my opinion. Unless things get abusive.) I reccomended a vacation (or "sick" day) to just unwind and get everything off your chest. Without trying to argue. Or crying. Crying stresses some guys out and he might turn it into an argument. Just sit down with him and try to be honest. If things start to get tense, tell him you need a minute and remove yourself from the situation and breathe for a bit.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)