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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i cried

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

i swore that i wouldnt. after ex dropped of DS- well, spent some time playing with him in the house... ex came to give me a hug and say goodbye. i cried. told him not to go. he said he's sorry but he's leaving. i damn near begged him to just stay. i cried even harder.

somehow we ended up on the couch... he's not sure we're good for each other- he used to be able to say it'll be okay and actually mean it; now, he's not so sure. i told him that i know i'm not okay, that i hate who i've become.... but the more he just walks out the door, doesnt contact me, the more i'll shut myself off from him emotionally.

he said it was my decision to break up. he just wanted to take a break. work on ourselves, then come back- stronger.

he left.


i told DS that if he wants to hang out with ex again, thats fine, but ex isnt allowed inside of the house. they arent allowed to play together in here. i cant handle it. its hard to know that i love him- but it doesnt matter. no matter how much i love him, i will slowly shut down emotionally... i will become a rock, void of emotions all over again. i will shut down, just so i dont feel the pain i feel now.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:14 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Word of advice. Don't involve your child in your personal life. Other than that sorry you are going through that. ((Hugs))
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:18 PM

i know. we were supposed to just meet up at mcdonalds- i drop DS off, then ex stay there with him, then ex drop DS off at home... instead, he never called to say he was on his way- he just showed up at the house. they played for a little bit, he took DS to mcdonalds, brought him back- came in, played with him some more before it was time to take a shower. i know that DS was the one who invited him in.

Quoting Anonymous:

Word of advice. Don't involve your child in your personal life. Other than that sorry you are going through that. ((Hugs))


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:36 PM

A break up is never easy if you love the othr person. However as hard as it may be I think telling your child that they cannot play with their father inside and that he cannot come in the house is a bit harsh. You need to set your feelings aside and allow him to be a parent to his child. Crying and pushing him away will only make things more difficult. If you guys are just taking a break show him what a strong, independent woman you are. There is nothing a guy finds more attractive than confidence. Usually when you start acting like you don't want them/ need them they start paying more attention to you than you think. For now do what's best for your child, everything will work out for the best. Good luck! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:57 PM

thats the thing. he's not even my son's father. yes- he's been the only father my son has known, but he's not biologically his dad and he has no obligation to stay. one day, he will walk out and he will be gone. honestly, i hope that day never comes, but i know it will. i hope that they are able to remain a father/son like relationship, but i know it doesnt work that way.

after my emotions from him stop, i wont want him anymore. i wont want to feel these same emotions towards him.

Quoting Anonymous:

A break up is never easy if you love the othr person. However as hard as it may be I think telling your child that they cannot play with their father inside and that he cannot come in the house is a bit harsh. You need to set your feelings aside and allow him to be a parent to his child. Crying and pushing him away will only make things more difficult. If you guys are just taking a break show him what a strong, independent woman you are. There is nothing a guy finds more attractive than confidence. Usually when you start acting like you don't want them/ need them they start paying more attention to you than you think. For now do what's best for your child, everything will work out for the best. Good luck! 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:06 PM

well for now allow them to enjoy the time they have together. My bio dad never raised me my step dad did & when he passed away it was the hardest thing I ever went through. He was more of a father to me than anyone. Any man can make a baby but it takes a real man to raise one. So if your ex wants to continue to be a father figure let him. He obviously still cares if he's coming around to spend time with your child. Seems like you both need time to get your minds & emotions right. Shutting down is doing nothing but avoiding what you don't want to face. You cannot hide behind stone forever...

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