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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Which relationship takes priority? B****y edit****

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Who's first?

Options:

Husband/Wife

Kids


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 838

View Results

Some people say that the key to a strong marriage is to put your husband/wife "first" (before kids) - do you agree? Do you think that a strong marriage is the key to a healthy happy FAMILY?


*******

SO! How many of you bashed the step-mom/Dad's GF for wanting to take a birthday weekend with her SO instead of him having DD that wekend, on her birthday?? THAT MAN, according to 44% of you, SHOULD MAKE HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS S/O HIS PRIORITY?!?


Unless it's a step parent right? Then you single/divorced moms get your panties in a wad because you're a jealous that your ex wants to take care of his relationship with his new S/O and you claim that the step parent is causing conflict and trying to wedge in between the man and his daughter - BUT she's supposed to be the more important relationship, right???

I'm just saying.. I can't beleive how many people in this group flipped SHlT over that post, when half of you think that the "marriage" relationship should take priority over the kids.

Interesting, huh?


*******

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:24 AM
Replies (391-399):
thehickinhickor
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:30 AM

kids she as a s parent and he ever agrees she is 1st in our lives until she is out on her own

FIMarriott
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:29 PM

First off, you are only a hypocrite if you believe the marriage takes priority and you change your mind when you find out it's a relationship that doesn't involve the biological mom. That's not my case. My particular curiosity in this post comes from why she felt the need to post it. I never voted on the original question because I think it's stupid. If you are a loving family, why does any relationship need to be 1st? It sounds like the father in this case has his hands full - trying to reassure everyone involved (kids, wife) that they are first in his life. Good luck with that.

Also, she never mentioned what the issue was. She simply posed a question, and then added a bitchy edit. She could have been clearer.

It sounds like she desperately needs reassurance. If she is certain that she is 1st in the husband's life, and he acts like she is 1st, why did she put up the post? Is it because his actions are saying one thing while his words are trying to assure her of another? Was it so we could all agree with her? Who cares what we think?

She also sounds a little insecure with regard to the biological mother - who still seems to be pulling the strings and probably always will. If you are married to someone who has kids with someone else, you will never be the only important thing in their life and it sounds like that is what she prefers.

Necie72
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:37 PM

DD comes first, no matter what.  My boyfriend isn't her father and he expects me to put her first.  A man/woman can walk away from a marriage/relationship at any time.  Children are our responsibility from day one until we leave this Earth. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:21 PM
This.

Quoting 504bbymami:

Neither. I think it needs to be balanced.
mrjonesii
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:57 AM

I don't have to choose between my husband and my kids. DH and I work on our relationship on our own time. We also spend lots of time with our children "together". One day the kids will be gone and we will need each other.

CoolRelax
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:05 AM

Um,ok.  I didn't comment on that other post - but you sound kinda mad.  As it stands now, 38% say husband/wife and 61% say parent/child.   

MsDenuninani
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:37 AM

As the very first poster said, the reason you put your marriage first is because it is the bedrock for the family unit.  If mom and dad put each other first, they are more likely to create a stable family for the kids to grow up in.

Once you get into step-parenting, that is simply no longer true.  The mother-father bond is broken, so the normal rule does not apply.

I didn't see the original post, so I don't really have an opinion as to what the father should do.  But I can see why it might be more incumbent on the father to spend time with his child, because it may be very important to let his child know that these weekends are a constant in his life -- this is the way he creates stability for his child. 

Family stability is the most important thing.  You always err on the side of promoting it.   

IrishMama88
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:33 PM

Right now, my son comes first because his needs are so great (six months old).  This will shift through the years as he becomes more independent.  Of course, there are still times when my relationship with my husband will come first, because if that isn't a good quality connection, the whole family will be affected.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:27 PM

Your partner /husband comes first......then the kids...you only have the kids 18-21 yrs, You'll always have your partner , he's for life!

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