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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

DF wants me to return some of the gifts I got for my kids to buy for his

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: What would you do?

Options:

Take back a few of your kid's gifts to buy his more

Just give his kids what you already have for them


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Total Votes: 414

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He got laid off 2 weeks ago, then his car needed work that cost a lot more then he had planned. On top of that, when they did the walk through for him to move out of his apartment, they are charging him for BS damage that was done before he even moved in. Basically, he is broke.

He was supposed to be getting a Christmas bonus from his work, instead they laid him off and the Christmas bonus was going to go to buying his kids presents. We are moving in together now but we decided that this would be the last Christmas we buy stuff for our kids separately. I have already gotten my kid's presents and a few things for his kids but he hasn't gotten anything for his kids.

Since there was a problem with my last paycheck (instead of putting 5% of it into my 401k and me getting the rest, they gave me a check for 5% and put the rest in my 401K) I don't have much extra money, espcially now knowing that I will be supporting all of us (well his kids while they are with us) on my paycheck alone until he can get a new job. Now, they will be fixing my pay check but it could take a little bit so in the meantime, I have enough to pay the bills and buy food.

DF said that since there is no money to buy his kids stuff, I should take back some of the stuff I got for my kids to buy his kids stuff. The way I see it 1. we agreed to do separately this year so it's not fair for him to expect me to do this 2. I did buy his kids a few things so it's not like they will have nothing 3. They will be getting stuff at their mom's house so it's not like that's all they are getting for Christmas (I am widowed so my kids don't have a dad's house to go to)

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:43 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:59 AM

The kids are with her most of the time and I am sure she will be getting them stuff too.

Quoting Derari:

I see what he is saying, I see what your saying...but heck, what nobody is saying is where is his baby momma in all of this? Where's her money at!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:00 AM


Quoting svolkov:

If u pay it make thru your checks within a certain timeframe there is no no penalty


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting svolkov:

I thin k u should borrow from your 401k


Hell no, don't do that. You're financially strapped, you don't want to have to pay out penalties!


It's just be a financial burden in the long run, and a mistake. NEVER touch your 401K unless it's a dire emergency. I'm a 13 months from retirement, so I know a little what I'm talking about.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:00 AM

Is he a bum? He has two weeks, tell him to get off his ass and make.some money.


Shovel sidewalks, do a temp job, sell some shit, walk dogs.....I could think of a million ways to earn some money in two weeks. How useless can you be?

horseap
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:01 AM

 I wouldnt do it :/  Could he find help from toys for tots or something along those lines? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:01 AM

LOL, I remember that post, no it wasn't me. We are having a small, simple wedding that my parents are paying for at their insistance (when I got married to my late DH, they were strapped for cash, then a couple years later my sister got this lavish wedding from them. While I have never complained about it, they feel they "owe" me)

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

Are you the same person who posted about your DF "stealing" from your wedding fund to pay for his child support?


If so, you two have a bunch of problems to work out before getting married.


the4mutts
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:01 AM
3 moms liked this
I would, and have, returned my kids' stuff, to buy for my s/os son.
Just return 1 thing from each of yours, split the money between his. If you're serious about this man, and the family as awhole, you need to learn to treat yours & his equally.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:02 AM

That would be nice, though for me it does work out that it takes so long, it makes me really think about whether I need to take anything out.

Quoting svolkov:

Reallly? We got ours in 7 business days. Our old house was supposed to sell before we bought the new house. Didn't happen so we borrowed it from dh acct


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting svolkov:

I thin k u should borrow from your 401k

It takes 30 days to do that so there isn't enough time for that



Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I would take some of the gifts back and buy an even amount. You guys are going to be a family no? It's time to start acting like one. His kids, your kids will be in a blended family.

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:03 AM
We just had to do this inaugust. Our old house. Was supposed to sell before the new was bought. Didnt happen.closing kept getting bumped. We borrowed a significant amt more than she would. Paid it back when the house sold 2 weeks later.


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting svolkov:

If u pay it make thru your checks within a certain timeframe there is no no penalty



Quoting Anonymous:


 



Quoting svolkov:

I thin k u should borrow from your 401k



Hell no, don't do that. You're financially strapped, you don't want to have to pay out penalties!



It's just be a financial burden in the long run, and a mistake. NEVER touch your 401K unless it's a dire emergency. I'm a 13 months from retirement, so I know a little what I'm talking about.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:04 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Will they be there when yours opens gifts? If so it wouldbe rather shitty to not at least make the # semi even.

Not sure TBH

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