Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DF wants me to return some of the gifts I got for my kids to buy for his

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: What would you do?

Options:

Take back a few of your kid's gifts to buy his more

Just give his kids what you already have for them


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 414

View Results

He got laid off 2 weeks ago, then his car needed work that cost a lot more then he had planned. On top of that, when they did the walk through for him to move out of his apartment, they are charging him for BS damage that was done before he even moved in. Basically, he is broke.

He was supposed to be getting a Christmas bonus from his work, instead they laid him off and the Christmas bonus was going to go to buying his kids presents. We are moving in together now but we decided that this would be the last Christmas we buy stuff for our kids separately. I have already gotten my kid's presents and a few things for his kids but he hasn't gotten anything for his kids.

Since there was a problem with my last paycheck (instead of putting 5% of it into my 401k and me getting the rest, they gave me a check for 5% and put the rest in my 401K) I don't have much extra money, espcially now knowing that I will be supporting all of us (well his kids while they are with us) on my paycheck alone until he can get a new job. Now, they will be fixing my pay check but it could take a little bit so in the meantime, I have enough to pay the bills and buy food.

DF said that since there is no money to buy his kids stuff, I should take back some of the stuff I got for my kids to buy his kids stuff. The way I see it 1. we agreed to do separately this year so it's not fair for him to expect me to do this 2. I did buy his kids a few things so it's not like they will have nothing 3. They will be getting stuff at their mom's house so it's not like that's all they are getting for Christmas (I am widowed so my kids don't have a dad's house to go to)

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:43 AM
Replies (41-50):
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. I hate the attitude of most women here. No wonder all their step kids hate them. Kids know how u feel about them


Quoting Anonymous:

I would take some of the gifts back and buy an even amount. You guys are going to be a family no? It's time to start acting like one. His kids, your kids will be in a blended family.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:05 AM

I wouldn't take anything back that you bought for your kids, and I think it's wrong of him to ask you to do so. 

I would try to give your children their gifts when his kids were with their mom if possible, or split your kids' gifts into two different days, so his kids don't get upset. Tough situation, I'm sorry.

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:06 AM
Does your work match your contribution? If not look into some other retirement funds


Quoting Anonymous:

That would be nice, though for me it does work out that it takes so long, it makes me really think about whether I need to take anything out.


Quoting svolkov:

Reallly? We got ours in 7 business days. Our old house was supposed to sell before we bought the new house. Didn't happen so we borrowed it from dh acct





Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting svolkov:

I thin k u should borrow from your 401k

It takes 30 days to do that so there isn't enough time for that





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:06 AM

We talked about that but agreed that it would not be practical. We have no idea when he will be able to get a new job and to run up a credit card that he has no way of making payments on doesn't make sense.

Quoting she_walk_softly:

Have him run up a credit card


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't take back any of your kids stuff but only have them open a few with their step siblings. When the step sibling are at moms house your kids can open the rest of their presents.
JonesMama
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:07 AM

I wouldn't take anything back.

Could he sell some stuff on Craigslist for some cash to get his kids a little more? Might be a good time to clean out those closets since you're moving in together anyway...

Summerlion1123
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I'd be pissed he'd even ask such a thing. How rude and inconsiderate.

AnastasiaKorsh
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:07 AM

Oh, okay.
Well, all I can say is that if you are getting married, there really should't be "my" and "his" kids. They are all "your" kids now, much like your money should be mutual. If he's having some problems, I would work towards helping him out. If that means taking back some gifts and downsizing a bit, so be it. If that means spending a bit more than 50$ on the other kids, than so be it.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOL, I remember that post, no it wasn't me. We are having a small, simple wedding that my parents are paying for at their insistance (when I got married to my late DH, they were strapped for cash, then a couple years later my sister got this lavish wedding from them. While I have never complained about it, they feel they "owe" me)

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

Are you the same person who posted about your DF "stealing" from your wedding fund to pay for his child support?


If so, you two have a bunch of problems to work out before getting married.



luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:08 AM

I usually see things pretty clear cut when it comes to stuff like this.

Not true with your situation. On one hand I get what you are saying, and you haven't left his kids out. On the other hand I get what he is saying. Where's the middle ground?

Is there no one he can borrow from? I mean even $100 could help even things out. Will the kids be there Christmas morning? If so, then you guys should come up with some way to even things out. If not then it's not really going to matter. I'm sure he is just feeling like shit.


As a side note we can borrow from our 401k and get it in 2 days.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:09 AM

He is looking for a job, the problem is, everywhere has already hired their seasonal workers so no where is hiring at this point. We don't live in a place that snows and this time of year no one needs yard work done. He is in the process of filing for unemployment but likely won't get it until after Christmas and much of that will go to child support.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is he a bum? He has two weeks, tell him to get off his ass and make.some money.


Shovel sidewalks, do a temp job, sell some shit, walk dogs.....I could think of a million ways to earn some money in two weeks. How useless can you be?


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured