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What do you do when your friend is complete polar opposites on parenting?

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:31 AM
  • 72 Replies

We are complete polar opposites! I co-sleep, co-bathe, No infant ear piercings, No daycare, I am VERY pro breastfeed unless there is a medical reason (my son had a tounge tie), Natural Medical free birth, Non Vaxing, I am against CIO (Cry it out), NonCirc and I am 110% for NATURAL medication before Doctors and I very much believe that Woman should spend the first 5 years of their childs (my son is almost 2yr old now) lifes taking care of them not in daycare or being care for by some else (excluding those that have to work ect), and I worked very hard to keep our little family together through the hard times*... I one of those kinda mummies... I am passionate about it but I DO NOT force my veiws on her or anyone else.

but My friend is the opposite her DD has been in daycare since 5 months old (shes now 7 months), she does CIO (Cry it out), Formula fed, No co-sleeping or bathing, has her ears pierced, Vaxed, doesn't use organic baby stuff uses the mainstream stuff, Hasn't got the same ummm attachment?? Parenting like I have, she can leave her baby for hours and not stress about it..

I guess In every way we are different! there is nothing we have in common with parenting now we both have kids and its taking its toll...

She thinks I should put my son in daycare for the social side and theres no way I will do that because I dont have to and I think she sees that as a "Im better then you" attack but it really is I don't work and I am at home so I will care of my son (She isnt working either).

I usually keep my mouth shut when I know it something I disagree with but Its really putting a toll on our relationship and its as if its now its a competition with who can raise a child better with different parenting skills... can I add we aren't competing but it just FEELS that way and I don't want that!

Help?

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I am Co-Sleeping, Co-Bathing, Pro-Choice, Non Circumcising, C-sectioned, Mix Feeding, Baby Wearing, Tattooed and Pierced AUSTRALIAN Mummy :)
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krunchykorn
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:37 AM

BUMP!

krunchykorn
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:40 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous2u
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:40 AM
3 moms liked this
It shouldn't be a competition. U should just respect each others views. If you can't then maybe u should go ur separate ways
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I guess I am not seeing the issue? You both keep your mouths shut and don't chat about hot button parenting issues. Pretty simple. 

Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:45 AM

I think you just have to respect each other's differences. You don't have to be exactly alike to be friends...One of my very good friends and I have VERY different views on parenting, but we don't let it come between us. I think as long as neither of you is hurting your children with your parenting ways, then you just have to turn a blind eye to the differences and focus on other things you have in common.

Just a side note...Being able to leave for a little while and not stress the whole time, doesn't mean we are any less attached to our children than you. :) Just sayin'.

Alexis Emma 10-13-1999 - 13 years old
Kirsten Leslie 03-14-2004 - 8 years old
Sarah Mackenzie 08-14-2007 - 5 years old
Charlotte Amelia & Harmon David 04-12-2012 - 7 months old

Crystal_S
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:46 AM

Yikes - I can understand the strain when you both care about each other and think your way is the better way to raise children. But its like with any other mom - respect that we each parent our own way and dont judge each other for your decisions and stop the competition. Maybe you should have a frank conversation with her ... "look I know we are so different with parenting, lets agree to disagree and not judge each other" 

Sometimes children really change our priorities and relationships. I have crazy partying friends that I don't relate to anymore and we'll probably never be the same since Im a mom - such is life. 

krunchykorn
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:46 AM

I don't want a competition, I hate competing with people because there is no "winner" in the parenting world.. I keep my mouth shout but with things like daycare she thinks my DS should go and Dont

Quoting Anonymous2u:

It shouldn't be a competition. U should just respect each others views. If you can't then maybe u should go ur separate ways


Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

I am Co-Sleeping, Co-Bathing, Pro-Choice, Non Circumcising, C-sectioned, Mix Feeding, Baby Wearing, Tattooed and Pierced AUSTRALIAN Mummy :)
LucyHourglass
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:48 AM

be my friend! we would get along great!

krunchykorn
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:49 AM

I know that, I have been out for 4-5hours without ds but he was 18months or older, thats no thing about her parenting I disagree with very much.. And that make its hard if you know I mean, shes leave her DD for 9 hours at daycare and not even flich and I am soooo different she thinks that okay but I disagree so I keep my mouth shout.. Just make it hard!

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

I think you just have to respect each other's differences. You don't have to be exactly alike to be friends...One of my very good friends and I have VERY different views on parenting, but we don't let it come between us. I think as long as neither of you is hurting your children with your parenting ways, then you just have to turn a blind eye to the differences and focus on other things you have in common.

Just a side note...Being able to leave for a little while and not stress the whole time, doesn't mean we are any less attached to our children than you. :) Just sayin'.


Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

I am Co-Sleeping, Co-Bathing, Pro-Choice, Non Circumcising, C-sectioned, Mix Feeding, Baby Wearing, Tattooed and Pierced AUSTRALIAN Mummy :)
Lizardannie1966
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:49 AM

Require mutual respect and understanding or maybe it's time to move on?

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