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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My ex is now trying to adopt children with his wife when he doesn't even take care of our child

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do you think that someone who doesn't really parent a child he has should be allowed to adopt another child with his new wife? If it matters, I know his wife can't have children so I guess that's why they are trying to adopt.

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Yes

No


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Total Votes: 313

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I was contacted by an adoption agency saying that my ex (father of my child) is trying to adopt a child with his wife. The are checking into his background and I guess this includes children he already has. Now I am sure they will verify everything I told them with them with the courts but I told her that I was very shocked because he has very little to do with the child we have.

We had  a visitation order and a child support order and he pays his CS for the most part. But even though he could have had her every other weekend and one day during the week, he was only taking her her, at most one Saturday a month and that's only for an hour or two. So about a year ago, we went back to court and had the visitation changed to at my discretion (it was too much of a pain to sit around and wait to see if he wanted her every other weekend before we made plans).

I have to have him sign we he picks her up and drops her off and he makes his visitation requests in writing (via e-mail or text) so that he can prove when he asks. At this point, he is still only taking her 1 Saturday a month for a couple hours but any time he asks, I make sure she goes with him, that's just all he asks for. He also refuses to do any extras for her, he won't pay for any activities for her and maybe buys her one or two cheap gifts on Christmas (when he can afford way more then that).

She seemed very interested in what I had to say and I would fax her my records, which I said sure and she asked if she could contact me if she needed anything, which I said yes. The second I got off the phone with her, I called my uncle who is an attorney for an adoption agency, not that one though) to ask him if what I said will have any bearing in this. He said that it will be very easy to confirm my story and when the the agency does, their application will be immediately denied. I don't know if the agency will tell them why they have been denied but if they do I am sure he will raise hell about it.


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Replies (11-20):
queencreekmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Good for you. I wouldn't have lied for him! His kids come first and he probably won't be a responsible dad to a new child, either!

Unoriginal.
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:44 AM
8 moms liked this
It is the adoption agencies business though.
There is a reason they do these character checks.


Quoting DieselsMom:

I would not have answered any questions...becuase it is none of my business what he is trying to do with his current wife!


Quoting Anonymous:

What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?


Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mommavieve
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:45 AM
6 moms liked this
She told the truth. Refusing to answer questions would be just as telling. Besides, they could've gone to the courts to find out the exact same information she gave them.

Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Kbug3
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:45 AM
6 moms liked this
You were 100% RIGHT. If the new wife wants a child so bad she should find someone who's not a deadbeat - what at a dodo she is!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:45 AM
3 moms liked this
Bitch move.
Lordgodempress
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:46 AM
4 moms liked this

Telling the truth is a good thing,  I feel bad for his wife but at the same time she should not want to have kids with someone who doesnt take care of the ones he has.    If my DH only spent one weekend a month with his kids and could have them more, I wouldn't have married him,

VintageWife
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:47 AM

As long as you were answering the questions they asked and not just unleashing how you really feel about him personally, then I don't see anything wrong with it. Like the others said, you couldn't lie.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:47 AM
3 moms liked this
Yea but his wife choose him knowing he has a child that he never sees. If she wants a child so bad, why doesn't she talk him into seeing his child more often.

What if they do adopt and their marriage ends. Heist likely will do the same thing and never see his adoptive child.


Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(


Mychele
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM
3 moms liked this
She didn't meddle. It's a background check. Are you saying ex employers should refuse to answer questions ? Ex landlords for mortgage apps ? Seriously. OP did nothing wrong.

Quoting DieselsMom:

I would not have answered any questions...becuase it is none of my business what he is trying to do with his current wife!


Quoting Anonymous:

What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?


Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Aislin
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.

How the hell is it wrong? If he can't take care of his child he has no business adopting. 

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