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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My ex is now trying to adopt children with his wife when he doesn't even take care of our child

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do you think that someone who doesn't really parent a child he has should be allowed to adopt another child with his new wife? If it matters, I know his wife can't have children so I guess that's why they are trying to adopt.

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Yes

No


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Total Votes: 313

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I was contacted by an adoption agency saying that my ex (father of my child) is trying to adopt a child with his wife. The are checking into his background and I guess this includes children he already has. Now I am sure they will verify everything I told them with them with the courts but I told her that I was very shocked because he has very little to do with the child we have.

We had  a visitation order and a child support order and he pays his CS for the most part. But even though he could have had her every other weekend and one day during the week, he was only taking her her, at most one Saturday a month and that's only for an hour or two. So about a year ago, we went back to court and had the visitation changed to at my discretion (it was too much of a pain to sit around and wait to see if he wanted her every other weekend before we made plans).

I have to have him sign we he picks her up and drops her off and he makes his visitation requests in writing (via e-mail or text) so that he can prove when he asks. At this point, he is still only taking her 1 Saturday a month for a couple hours but any time he asks, I make sure she goes with him, that's just all he asks for. He also refuses to do any extras for her, he won't pay for any activities for her and maybe buys her one or two cheap gifts on Christmas (when he can afford way more then that).

She seemed very interested in what I had to say and I would fax her my records, which I said sure and she asked if she could contact me if she needed anything, which I said yes. The second I got off the phone with her, I called my uncle who is an attorney for an adoption agency, not that one though) to ask him if what I said will have any bearing in this. He said that it will be very easy to confirm my story and when the the agency does, their application will be immediately denied. I don't know if the agency will tell them why they have been denied but if they do I am sure he will raise hell about it.


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Well they can look at the court records anyway but I was really thinking "why is he adopting when he isn't taking care of his kid he has already" I was very much caught off guard and then thinking about my aunt and uncle who adopted and waited so long for a baby I figured I should make sure they know the truth so that a baby doesn't end up going to them over a couple who have not already neglected a child

Quoting DieselsMom:

I would not have answered any questions...becuase it is none of my business what he is trying to do with his current wife!

Quoting Anonymous:

What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?

Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM
Right. Because lying for him would've been SO much better. *smh*

Quoting Anonymous:

Bitch move.
wymama610
by Gold Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM
4 moms liked this
Of course we are only getting your side of the story. For all we know, you could be a royal bitch putting him through hell. Some dads choose to walk rather than put up with psychopath exes........ I think I would have declined to talk to them. If they can easily research court docs, that's what they should do.
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firespurity
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Maybe you could have discussed this with his wife. Call her and explain his lack of interest in his already existing children is the reason they where denied. It isn't your fault the agency would have seen court records anyways. Suggest having a more active role in her SDD to fill the void of children.

mammabear18
by Gold Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM
This. I feel very sad for the wife as well. :(

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:49 AM
5 moms liked this

IMO, she should have thought about that before she married a man who isn't parenting his own child

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(


3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this
He'll no! he shouldn't be able to adopt someone else's child when he's not even a good parent to his own flesh & blood. I hope they deny their app and the dbag starts to man up and be more active in his bio child life. What a frigging loser.
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LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Same here...

Quoting mammabear18:

This. I feel very sad for the wife as well. :(



Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mychele
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM
Exactly

Quoting Kbug3:

You were 100% RIGHT. If the new wife wants a child so bad she should find someone who's not a deadbeat - what at a dodo she is!
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batmansgirl
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM

He takes care of the child, op stated he pays his child support. Legally he's doing all thats required of him.

Quoting Lordgodempress:

Telling the truth is a good thing,  I feel bad for his wife but at the same time she should not want to have kids with someone who doesnt take care of the ones he has.    If my DH only spent one weekend a month with his kids and could have them more, I wouldn't have married him,


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