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My ex is now trying to adopt children with his wife when he doesn't even take care of our child

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Do you think that someone who doesn't really parent a child he has should be allowed to adopt another child with his new wife? If it matters, I know his wife can't have children so I guess that's why they are trying to adopt.




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I was contacted by an adoption agency saying that my ex (father of my child) is trying to adopt a child with his wife. The are checking into his background and I guess this includes children he already has. Now I am sure they will verify everything I told them with them with the courts but I told her that I was very shocked because he has very little to do with the child we have.

We had  a visitation order and a child support order and he pays his CS for the most part. But even though he could have had her every other weekend and one day during the week, he was only taking her her, at most one Saturday a month and that's only for an hour or two. So about a year ago, we went back to court and had the visitation changed to at my discretion (it was too much of a pain to sit around and wait to see if he wanted her every other weekend before we made plans).

I have to have him sign we he picks her up and drops her off and he makes his visitation requests in writing (via e-mail or text) so that he can prove when he asks. At this point, he is still only taking her 1 Saturday a month for a couple hours but any time he asks, I make sure she goes with him, that's just all he asks for. He also refuses to do any extras for her, he won't pay for any activities for her and maybe buys her one or two cheap gifts on Christmas (when he can afford way more then that).

She seemed very interested in what I had to say and I would fax her my records, which I said sure and she asked if she could contact me if she needed anything, which I said yes. The second I got off the phone with her, I called my uncle who is an attorney for an adoption agency, not that one though) to ask him if what I said will have any bearing in this. He said that it will be very easy to confirm my story and when the the agency does, their application will be immediately denied. I don't know if the agency will tell them why they have been denied but if they do I am sure he will raise hell about it.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Replies (301-310):
by Anonymous 45 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM
I agree with you and if he does adopt then his daughter will probably see her dad even less.

Quoting krissy920:

I feel bad for his new wife  who may desperatly  want a child  of her own, but i feel bad for your child as well.  Its a shame he doesnt want to  spend the time to get to know her more and love her more  =/

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:02 PM
He doesn't deserve another kid. He does close to nothing for the one he has now.
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:05 PM

Even though your ex is a very big douche, I feel sad for his wife...because of her shitty husband she may never get to be a Mommy...

by Anonymous 46 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:55 PM
The op has already stated that her dd is not there for sm to be a "mom" to. So that's out. I would bet that op would make it hard for her dd and sm to even have a relationship.

Quoting Anonymous:

She may not get the chance to have her own, but this women could suck it up and be a great step mom to his daughter. But, it doesn't seem like she even has any interest in doing that. :(

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

by Anonymous 32 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Right. The new wife has no idea about the husband seeing his daughter once a month. She thinks he's golfing.

Quoting AdellesMom:

I love all of the assumptions here. How do you know that his new wife even knows about the OP? How do you know if the OP is telling the truth?

You don't.

Quoting Anonymous:

You did the right thing, OP. She should be encouraging him to nurture his relationship with his daughter, and she clearly isn't. Someone like that wouldn't make a good mother.
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:02 PM

Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.


His new wife wanting children with him has nothing to do with you.

I would have said as much. It isnt my business and i dont want to be involved. There could be other reasons for him to not see your daughter often.

by Anonymous 47 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:08 PM
Its not her fault he's an asshole. Its very possible that she's pushing for this because she wants a kid badly and its easier to do so when your married than when your seperated or single. =\ I wouldn't have said those things.
by Anonymous 48 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:14 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

maybe the wife doesn't care of he sees his child. I wouldn't care if dh decided to not bother with other kids. I would have never married a man with kids though.
by Anonymous 49 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this

But she wasn't talking about his new wife, she was only telling what she knew about her XDH. It is up to the agency to do a background check on BOTH parents, now if XDH isn't able to help the new wife than maybe the new wife picked the wrong man! 

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:24 PM

People are seriously bashing OP for telling the truth? What if the XH divorces the new wife, he'd likely abandon that kid too!  And just proving monetary support is NOTnenough.  Is just feeding and clothing your baby enough? Nope, they need love, attention, and direction, something this guy has proven he is unwilling to do for more than 24 hours a year!

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