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My ex is now trying to adopt children with his wife when he doesn't even take care of our child

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do you think that someone who doesn't really parent a child he has should be allowed to adopt another child with his new wife? If it matters, I know his wife can't have children so I guess that's why they are trying to adopt.

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Yes

No


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Total Votes: 313

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I was contacted by an adoption agency saying that my ex (father of my child) is trying to adopt a child with his wife. The are checking into his background and I guess this includes children he already has. Now I am sure they will verify everything I told them with them with the courts but I told her that I was very shocked because he has very little to do with the child we have.

We had  a visitation order and a child support order and he pays his CS for the most part. But even though he could have had her every other weekend and one day during the week, he was only taking her her, at most one Saturday a month and that's only for an hour or two. So about a year ago, we went back to court and had the visitation changed to at my discretion (it was too much of a pain to sit around and wait to see if he wanted her every other weekend before we made plans).

I have to have him sign we he picks her up and drops her off and he makes his visitation requests in writing (via e-mail or text) so that he can prove when he asks. At this point, he is still only taking her 1 Saturday a month for a couple hours but any time he asks, I make sure she goes with him, that's just all he asks for. He also refuses to do any extras for her, he won't pay for any activities for her and maybe buys her one or two cheap gifts on Christmas (when he can afford way more then that).

She seemed very interested in what I had to say and I would fax her my records, which I said sure and she asked if she could contact me if she needed anything, which I said yes. The second I got off the phone with her, I called my uncle who is an attorney for an adoption agency, not that one though) to ask him if what I said will have any bearing in this. He said that it will be very easy to confirm my story and when the the agency does, their application will be immediately denied. I don't know if the agency will tell them why they have been denied but if they do I am sure he will raise hell about it.


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM
2 moms liked this

Umm, when her ex provided her number to an adoption agent and that agent called her, it then became her business!


 

Quoting DieselsMom:

I would not have answered any questions...becuase it is none of my business what he is trying to do with his current wife!

Quoting Anonymous:

What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?

Quoting DieselsMom:

What you did is wrong.

 

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Well they can verify through all the records that is not the case. She said she sends her kid with him whenever he asks... and she has proof of all of this which is how she didn't get held in contempt when he didn't have visitation.

Quoting wymama610:

Of course we are only getting your side of the story. For all we know, you could be a royal bitch putting him through hell. Some dads choose to walk rather than put up with psychopath exes........ I think I would have declined to talk to them. If they can easily research court docs, that's what they should do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:51 AM
Frankly, you sound jealous.
Mychele
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:51 AM
4 moms liked this
How can you feel sorry for a woman who is ok with her husband being a deadbeat ? Seriously I don't understand you women.

Quoting mammabear18:

This. I feel very sad for the wife as well. :(



Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

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Lordgodempress
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:52 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting batmansgirl:

He takes care of the child, op stated he pays his child support. Legally he's doing all thats required of him.

Quoting Lordgodempress:

Telling the truth is a good thing,  I feel bad for his wife but at the same time she should not want to have kids with someone who doesnt take care of the ones he has.    If my DH only spent one weekend a month with his kids and could have them more, I wouldn't have married him,


So if me as a mother only gave money to my kids and only saw them once a month, that makes me a good mother? and i should be allowed to adopt more?   I dont think so.     If he is allowed more visitation but chooses to not see his kids he is not being a good father to them.

honeyrder
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Good. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

We only heard one side, I'd be interested to hear the father's side of the story...My guess is it is completely opposite of this story!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

So, her step-daughter isn't good enough for her to care for?  Obviously she doesn't give a crap about the child her husband already has (not the OP, the new wife) because she makes no effort to urge her husband to push for more visitation.  I don't feel bad for her nor him.  You can't throw a child away and get a new life.  Well, I guess you can, but it's shitty that this child is being done this way.


 

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(


xMs.Shannax
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM
She could be an amazing step mother but yeah clearly that isn't happening!

Quoting Elly219:

 I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommythree0508
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:53 AM
2 moms liked this
You did exactly right op. And as for his new wife,she brought it on herself by getting involved with a man who doesn't take care of his child. I have no sympathy for her.
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