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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Okay, ladies. Retract your claws for a moment...

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And share your favorite joke. I am partial to jokes of the stupid or nerdy variety. My favorite at the moment is one I heard on "The Big Bang Theory".


A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a drink?".

The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"


Share some jokes :)
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by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Replies (31-40):
ashleywright88
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:54 PM

What do you call a snail on a ship? A SNAILOR!! HAHAHA :P

Photobucket

RarelyALazyDay
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:01 PM
Baby seal walks into a club....
Kitschy
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:02 PM

A bum is stumbling down the streets of Chicago on a cold day. He stops when he notices a man on the corner say to the woman next to him.

"tickle your ass with a feather?"

The woman looks at him and says "WHAT did you just say to me?" 

He replies "I said it's terrible weather"

"oh." she replies, and walks away.

Another woman walks up next to the man.

"tickle your ass with a feather?" he whispers

"What!?" 

"I said it's very rough weather" he explains.

"oh, yes it is" she replies and walks away

The bum stumbles over to the man and says "I    saw   whud you did    there"

The man explains "when a beautiful lady walks by I say tickle your ass with a feather. If she isn't interested I simply tell her I was commenting on the weather, but every now and then the woman is interested. It really works."

The bum stumbles away and looks back just as another woman walks up next to the man. He sees him whisper to her, and the two walk away together.

The bum is in shock that it worked and can't wait to try it out for himself.

He stumbles up to a beautiful woman and yells "STICK A FEATHER UP YOUR ASS?!"  

The woman hits him with her purse and yells for help.

The bum yells "WHAT!? I said it's fuckin cold out here!"


LOL

I think that one might be better in person. It requires a lot of physicality.

rockabillybetty
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:03 PM
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common??

They're both great rides until someone sees you on one
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:08 PM
Did you screw up a blonde joke? Lol!

Shouldn't it be: "which is closer, Florida or the moon?"

Quoting Anonymous:

2 blondes sat on a porch.one blonde said to the other, what's further away Florida or the moon and the other blonde said The Moon DUH! You can't see Florida!
BridgeEbb
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this

A man is walking with his son one day down to the lake.  As they walk the son asks his father how each of his siblings got their names. "Well son," Says the father "After you each were born I walked outside and the first thing I saw was what I named each of you.  Your brother was born and I walked outside to see a great black bear growling, so I named him growling bear.  Your sister was born and I walked outside to see a babbling brook and so her name was Brook.  Why do you ask Crapping Dog.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:09 PM
How do you circumsize a boy from west Virginia? Kick his sister in the jaw.
rockabillybetty
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:11 PM
A chicken and an egg are laying in bed
The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke
The egg pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over pulls the blanket over him and says
"I guess we answered THAT question!"
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atyou
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:11 PM
What did one Teddy bear say to the other Teddy bear when he asked if he wanted a cookie?



No thanks....I'm stuffed.


Ba dum chh.
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sugarfox72
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:11 PM
My daughters favorite is...

What flower grown between you nose and your chin?

Tulips! ;)
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