See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I find it interesting how so many mothers reply to a 'problem' with "Well, if you were smart enough, you SHOULDN'T be having this problem." By basic logic, this is an indirect way to simply say "You're stupid." (which is obviously the message meant to be given)
I get that these kinds of replies are not intending to be helpful in any way - the are intended to judge and dismiss. At best, they are to say "live and learn" - which is helpful in some cases, but not all.
I would argue that this kind of response could be given to the vast majority of problems people face. "Well, if you just did this or that FIRST, you would not be faced with your problem now!" -- aka - "YOUR fault and I have no sympathy for you or suggestions to make your situation better. You obviously chose it - now figure it out yourself."
Seriously - this "you should have" or "you shouldn't have" mentality is the foundation of most judgements we see.
My question is --- which of you has no problems AT ALL?
And, for those who can admit they aren't 'problem-free'....when you are facing your problems....do you think there is something you 'should' have done differently which would have prevented your problem?
(Problems related to a sudden and unexpected illness and/or sudden and unexpected death of a loved one excluded.)