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You're facing a problem? Well, you're stupid - problem solved.

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:34 PM
  • 7 Replies

I find it interesting how so many mothers reply to a 'problem' with "Well, if you were smart enough, you SHOULDN'T be having this problem."  By basic logic, this is an indirect way to simply say "You're stupid."  (which is obviously the message meant to be given)

I get that these kinds of replies are not intending to be helpful in any way - the are intended to judge and dismiss.  At best, they are to say "live and learn" - which is helpful in some cases, but not all.

I would argue that this kind of response could be given to the vast majority of problems people face.  "Well, if you just did this or that FIRST, you would not be faced with your problem now!"  -- aka - "YOUR fault and I have no sympathy for you or suggestions to make your situation better.  You obviously chose it - now figure it out yourself."

Seriously - this "you should have" or "you shouldn't have" mentality is the foundation of most judgements we see.

My question is --- which of you has no problems AT ALL?  

And, for those who can admit they aren't 'problem-free'....when you are facing your problems....do you think there is something you 'should' have done differently which would have prevented your problem?

(Problems related to a sudden and unexpected illness and/or sudden and unexpected death of a loved one excluded.)






by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:34 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Most of my problems were caused by my own stupid fault. As is true for the majority of people. Because quite frankly, the majority of people are dumb or irresponsible. One or the other.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:40 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Most of my problems were caused by my own stupid fault. As is true for the majority of people. Because quite frankly, the majority of people are dumb or irresponsible. One or the other.

The thing that bugs me....is that many people believe their own problems were just 'bad luck' or that they were not at fault at all.  Yet, when they hear about someone else's problem they are quick to say "it's your fault, idiot."

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:41 PM


Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting Anonymous:

Most of my problems were caused by my own stupid fault. As is true for the majority of people. Because quite frankly, the majority of people are dumb or irresponsible. One or the other.

The thing that bugs me....is that many people believe their own problems were just 'bad luck' or that they were not at fault at all.  Yet, when they hear about someone else's problem they are quick to say "it's your fault, idiot."

Very good point.

tezell78
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:50 PM
The vast majority of my problems are the direct result of bad choices on my part. Everyone makes bad or irresponsible choices from time to time.
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Grumpylilpixy
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:52 PM

Live and Learn. You don't learn by doing it correctly. It is part of being human. You live, you learn. 

702girly
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:54 PM

Many people on here have stupid problems that are a direct result of their stupidity.

Perhaps if that's pointed out to them, they'll stop making such incredibly fucking stupid decisions.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:04 PM


Quoting 702girly:

Many people on here have stupid problems that are a direct result of their stupidity.

Perhaps if that's pointed out to them, they'll stop making such incredibly fucking stupid decisions.

But, usually the request is not "Please, help me from making this horrible mistake again!" ---- it is "Please, help me figure out how to best deal with this mistake I made."

Saying "you shouldn't have done that in the first place and you should never do it again!" would help the first request --- and nothing to help when the mistake has already been made.

I feel when a request is made "help me figure out how to best deal with this mistake I made".....HELP them with the 'here and now'.....and then REMIND them to not make the mistake again.

Should've, would've, could've......helpful if we had a time machine.....helpful for future choices.....NOT helpful for 'here and now'.

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