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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Cheer me up, b******!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
Going in for a biopsy tomorrow for a lump in my booby. Getting a little nervous, so I need YOU to tell me some awesome stories to get my mind off of what's coming. Not anything depressing. I want bad ass, funny stories. GO!!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:42 PM
9 moms liked this
This one time, I had to much coffee.

Then drove my kids to school & was speeding home to take a giant poop, which was trying to escape imediately.

I was pulled over by a cop & farted such a nasty fart that the female officer let me go without so much as a written warning. -_-

True story.
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:43 PM
4 moms liked this

Well I could tell you about the time that I ran into a meat slicer and then apologized to it. 

OR I could tell you about the time someone told my granddad couldn't ride a horse into the casino and he did to prove them wrong.

OR I could tell you about the time my granddad got a bit drunk, he was talking how porcupine quills couldn't go through cowboy boots. He saw a porcupine lying on the roadside told Grandma, "Woman! Stop this truck." She did. He got out, went to the procupine, hauled off and kicked it as hard as he could... They had to use pliers to pull out the quills.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Sounds like you had one heck of a Granddaddy!


Quoting AllofFive19:

Well I could tell you about the time that I ran into a meat slicer and then apologized to it. 

OR I could tell you about the time someone told my granddad couldn't ride a horse into the casino and he did to prove them wrong.

OR I could tell you about the time my granddad got a bit drunk, he was talking how porcupine quills couldn't go through cowboy boots. He saw a porcupine lying on the roadside told Grandma, "Woman! Stop this truck." She did. He got out, went to the procupine, hauled off and kicked it as hard as he could... They had to use pliers to pull out the quills.


AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:47 PM

I did... I miss him so much. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like you had one heck of a Granddaddy!


Quoting AllofFive19:

Well I could tell you about the time that I ran into a meat slicer and then apologized to it. 

OR I could tell you about the time someone told my granddad couldn't ride a horse into the casino and he did to prove them wrong.

OR I could tell you about the time my granddad got a bit drunk, he was talking how porcupine quills couldn't go through cowboy boots. He saw a porcupine lying on the roadside told Grandma, "Woman! Stop this truck." She did. He got out, went to the procupine, hauled off and kicked it as hard as he could... They had to use pliers to pull out the quills.



turtle07
by Rhiannon on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:48 PM
Lol

Quoting Anonymous:

This one time, I had to much coffee.



Then drove my kids to school & was speeding home to take a giant poop, which was trying to escape imediately.



I was pulled over by a cop & farted such a nasty fart that the female officer let me go without so much as a written warning. -_-



True story.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:50 PM
3 moms liked this

I sit before you to stand behind you

to tell you something of which I know nothing about

it seems one night in the middle of the day

these two dead boys got up to play

back to back they faced each other

drew their swords and shot each other

A deaf policeman heard the noise

and he came to shoot those two dead boys

Now if you don't believe my lie is true

ask the blind man. He saw it too.


Cher53
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:51 PM

When I was in college I was stoner big time we all went back to party some more different people were asking me to write down things I look down and I am writing with my toothbrush..Yep instead of grabbing a pen I was trying to write with my toothbrush...I have never lived it down....

Mabuka
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM
2 moms liked this

vrbtnseele
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM
I just killed a vampire i was trying to kill for days. It was pretty epic.
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