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Men Get No Choice?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Fair?

Options:

Yes

No

Other explain!


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 137

View Results

Here's a question:


Man and women get pregnant. One night stand condom broke whatever they tried to prevent it pregnancy but it didn't work out. Man wants her to get abortion or adoption she wants the kid. He's not interested in being a father but she won't allow him to sign off his rights. 

She forced him to be a 'father' by putting his name on the BC. 

If I've got this right then by most CM standers he's a POS father because he didn't want the kid to start and has no options or say in his ability to be a father or not. Mother can rape him over with child support etc and she's supported to do so. 


Now switch it. Women doesn't want the kid. Gives the kid up for adoption (without telling the father period) or has an abortion. Father doesn't get a choice.

No one takes shit out on the mother when she has her choices to make and makes them. But a man is forced into whatever choice the women makes not being able to sign off his rights or just walk away without him being an asshole or a jerk. What if there's real reason he wants or needs to walk away? Is this fair?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:06 AM
Replies (131-140):
JjcH0911
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Its not fair a women doesn't need the fathers say to abort or adopt the child out . and she can keep the baby when he doesn't wAnt to and then he's forced in to child support is bull shit . here in my state if the father doesn't sign the avidavid he DOESN'T have to be responsible for the baby.
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KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:14 AM
You never know. I think they should be allowed to walk away myself.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe if men could "abort" and sign away rights no questions, no strings attatched, women wouldn't be so quick to sleep around+ hmm.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting celestegood:

This is how it is.





Quoting Anonymous:

First off, no women can Sign a father on the birth certificate. If that was te case, Channing tatum would've been the father to all 3 of my children. The father must be there and sign himself.

Second, questions like this are a dead end and if you want to question fairness then people should take it up with GOD, who made women then child bearers. There is absolutely NO way to make child bearing and responsibility 100% fair. Yes it sucks men don't have a say so, but you know what else sucks? The fact that a father can walk away from a child and be only ordered to pay money, yet a woman walks away from their child and they are facing neglect charges! Crimes that are commited against children in the household where the mother is sentenced TWICE more harsh than the father because the mother is supposed to be the "instinctive" one.

People just need to give it a rest.when men are able to carry a bear a child, maybe the laws will be "fair". Until then, there will always be a biased system and the only 100% solution to the problem is to stop fucking random people.







Life isn't fair, deal with it!

That is exactly my point. There are tons of examples that we can use to turn the tables.  And I agree that until men ( actual male born men) can carry and give birth to a child, I might be more sympathetic to this issue.  Until then, I can't be.  That would mean that, not only can men sleep around and not be looked at and ridiculed for being a skank or a whore, but people want to also give them a free pass on getting a women pregnant. So men should be able to sleep around without any consequences whatsoever.  And women should just deal with, not only being labeled as a slut or skank, but also having to raise a child on her own.  If you REALLY want to talk about being unfair? How can you say THAT is fair?  How is that not considered a double standard?    How "unfair" is it to the child?  Thats what people really need to look at.  The child is the real victom here. The man and women were both two consenting , yet irresponsible adults.   The child didn't ask for any of this. And yet people say that the man should just be allowed to bail on him/her?  It seems like people really have their priorities screwed up somewhere. 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:15 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

First off, no women can Sign a father on the birth certificate. If that was te case, Channing tatum would've been the father to all 3 of my children. The father must be there and sign himself. I just spit my coffee out on my screen thanks.

Second, questions like this are a dead end and if you want to question fairness then people should take it up with GOD, who made women then child bearers. There is absolutely NO way to make child bearing and responsibility 100% fair. Yes it sucks men don't have a say so, but you know what else sucks? The fact that a father can walk away from a child and be only ordered to pay money, yet a woman walks away from their child and they are facing neglect charges! Crimes that are commited against children in the household where the mother is sentenced TWICE more harsh than the father because the mother is supposed to be the "instinctive" one.

People just need to give it a rest.when men are able to carry a bear a child, maybe the laws will be "fair". Until then, there will always be a biased system and the only 100% solution to the problem is to stop fucking random people.

Life isn't fair, deal with it!

It is unfair what about when a husband and wife have a baby (planned) and they get a divorce and THEN the father walks out on the child cause he can't stand the mom?

Life is a big shit sandwich and we all have to take a bite.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Haha I'm so glad my babies deadbeat dad walked out on us for another woman because I'm going to take him for everything he's got! Fair????? Is it fair my child won't have a father???
Lizardannie1966
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:19 AM

The part I've highlighted in red is where I find myself fence sitting.

He was there and he knew the condom broke. So essentially, he is just as responsible as she is and should understand that it boils down to you play you pay, in a way.

However, he has no interest in being a father.

I'm not so sure he should be forced necessarily and because what type of father will he become? There really isn't a guarantee that upon looking into the face of his newborn child, he will instantly fall in-love with him or her and become that responsible, good parent.

So again, I'm on the fence on THIS aspect.

Quoting Anonymous:
Man wants her to get abortion or adoption she wants the kid. He's not interested in being a father but she won't allow him to sign off his rights. 
Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:28 AM

What? Is it not called " sleeping around" when a man does it? Talk about your double standerds.  You know there is another reason for having sex, right? In addition to the fun and pleasure, it is also meant to create life. So, just like women, men should also take precautions to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.  Women are ridiculed for an unplanned pregnancy, because they slept around and didn't take 'all' the nessecary precautions to prevent the pregnancy.  Its always the same argument. They were a slut, they should have been on birth control because they know how effective,or ineffective condoms are.  Men should know that too.  They should know how effective condoms are.  They should take extra measures on their part, to ensure that they wont slip up.   If you really sincerely don't want something to happen, you should always look out for yourself, and not leave it up to someone else to do it for you.  Especially if you are not sure if that person is even capable of being responsible for themselves. If they are not responsible for their own, how can they be responsible for someone else?  That is why it is just as much the mans fault as it is the women.  They chose to have sex with someone that they obviously didn't know all too well. And now people want to feel sorry for them and give them a free pass for doing the same thing that the women did.  Only she is being blamed for it and he gets off Scot free.  That is not right.  And like I said in another comment, the only real victim here is the unwanted child

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe if men could "abort" and sign away rights no questions, no strings attatched, women wouldn't be so quick to sleep around+ hmm.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting celestegood:

This is how it is.



Quoting Anonymous:

First off, no women can Sign a father on the birth certificate. If that was te case, Channing tatum would've been the father to all 3 of my children. The father must be there and sign himself.

Second, questions like this are a dead end and if you want to question fairness then people should take it up with GOD, who made women then child bearers. There is absolutely NO way to make child bearing and responsibility 100% fair. Yes it sucks men don't have a say so, but you know what else sucks? The fact that a father can walk away from a child and be only ordered to pay money, yet a woman walks away from their child and they are facing neglect charges! Crimes that are commited against children in the household where the mother is sentenced TWICE more harsh than the father because the mother is supposed to be the "instinctive" one.

People just need to give it a rest.when men are able to carry a bear a child, maybe the laws will be "fair". Until then, there will always be a biased system and the only 100% solution to the problem is to stop fucking random people.





Life isn't fair, deal with it!

That is exactly my point. There are tons of examples that we can use to turn the tables.  And I agree that until men ( actual male born men) can carry and give birth to a child, I might be more sympathetic to this issue.  Until then, I can't be.  That would mean that, not only can men sleep around and not be looked at and ridiculed for being a skank or a whore, but people want to also give them a free pass on getting a women pregnant. So men should be able to sleep around without any consequences whatsoever.  And women should just deal with, not only being labeled as a slut or skank, but also having to raise a child on her own.  If you REALLY want to talk about being unfair? How can you say THAT is fair?  How is that not considered a double standard?    How "unfair" is it to the child?  Thats what people really need to look at.  The child is the real victom here. The man and women were both two consenting , yet irresponsible adults.   The child didn't ask for any of this. And yet people say that the man should just be allowed to bail on him/her?  It seems like people really have their priorities screwed up somewhere. 


sugarcrisp
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:29 AM

No shit. But I'm sure it's safe to say that the majority of women who opt for adoption don't wait until after they've given birth but rather prior to, thus when she is still pregnant... with a fetus.

Quoting sorcha1945:

You can not adopt out a fetus. You can only adopt out a baby.

Quoting sugarcrisp:

What about the woman who literally has zero idea as to the identity of the father of her fetus?


Quoting RMB2011:

Where can a mother give a child up for adoption without the fathers consent? I know some shady adoption agencies will do that but if the father wants to child the mother can sign over the child to the father.



sugarcrisp
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you.

I figured, but I didn't want to put too much stock into my assuption. Some things with the government make zero sense and you know what they say about assumptions.. lol

Quoting Youngmother456:

They have you put an ad in the paper for X amount of time with the womans and childs name along with some details. If no one responds they terminate the fathers rights even when it is unknown.


Quoting sugarcrisp:

What about the woman who literally has zero idea as to the identity of the father of her fetus?


Quoting RMB2011:

Where can a mother give a child up for adoption without the fathers consent? I know some shady adoption agencies will do that but if the father wants to child the mother can sign over the child to the father.




QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Meh. It's a shitty double standard.

I think men should be able to sign over rights in the beginning of the pregnancy.

As for a man fighting to have a woman keep the baby. I can't get on board with that. But I do feel its sad that a man has no voice when there is a baby he wants to keep.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 28 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:31 AM
It sucks but in all honesty you could have legally walked away yourself by aborting. That's the point of the post. If women CAN LEGALLY walk away during early pregnancy why cant men?

Quoting Anonymous:

Haha I'm so glad my babies deadbeat dad walked out on us for another woman because I'm going to take him for everything he's got! Fair????? Is it fair my child won't have a father???
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