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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Men Get No Choice?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Fair?

Options:

Yes

No

Other explain!


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Total Votes: 137

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Here's a question:


Man and women get pregnant. One night stand condom broke whatever they tried to prevent it pregnancy but it didn't work out. Man wants her to get abortion or adoption she wants the kid. He's not interested in being a father but she won't allow him to sign off his rights. 

She forced him to be a 'father' by putting his name on the BC. 

If I've got this right then by most CM standers he's a POS father because he didn't want the kid to start and has no options or say in his ability to be a father or not. Mother can rape him over with child support etc and she's supported to do so. 


Now switch it. Women doesn't want the kid. Gives the kid up for adoption (without telling the father period) or has an abortion. Father doesn't get a choice.

No one takes shit out on the mother when she has her choices to make and makes them. But a man is forced into whatever choice the women makes not being able to sign off his rights or just walk away without him being an asshole or a jerk. What if there's real reason he wants or needs to walk away? Is this fair?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:06 AM
Replies (161-170):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:42 PM
She put Him on the APPLICATION at the hospital. Unless he was there to actually sign the application his name will NOT be on the birth certificate. This is illegal



"There's a lot of confusion surrounding the issue of single mothers, fathers, and birth certificates. First, you should know that legally including the father's name on a state-issued birth certificate requires his participation. So if he happens to be unavailable — because you don't know who he is or cannot locate him — it's a non-issue. Even if you listed him on the application, it wouldn't make it on to the actual birth certificate without his signature on a legal Acknowledgement of Paternity form."
Quoting Johariz:

I just asked a friend if mine who had a baby two months ago what she put in the bc. She is not married to the father, he wasn't even in the same state when the baby was born. She put his name on the bc.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well then you see the diffrences between you and your MIL situation VS that one. You were married to him, so you could put his name on the BC without his consent.  His mother had him at a time where there were no such laws in place to keep women from being able to place any random man on their child's BC. ;)

Quoting Johariz:

Yes, we were married. No, his mother was not.





Quoting Anonymous:

Was he your husband when you filled it out? Was your husbands mother married to his father at the time?  If not, she was probably able to do it because back then they didn't have the paternity laws like we do now.  Now days in most states, if you are not a legally married couple, the man has to sign a right to paternity paper, before he can be added to the childs birth certificate.  If you are married, one is not needed, unless it is proven by DNA that he is not the BIO father.  This is a fairly new law. Like in my state, I don't even think it was around when my cousin had her first child, back in '99.  My sons father had to fill it out when he was born in '04.

Quoting Johariz:

Not true. My husbands mother put the fathers name on the bc. He doesn't even know my dh exists. I filled out both if my kids bc's, my dh didn't have to sign.







Quoting Anonymous:

First off, no women can Sign a father on the birth certificate. If that was te case, Channing tatum would've been the father to all 3 of my children. The father must be there and sign himself.

Second, questions like this are a dead end and if you want to question fairness then people should take it up with GOD, who made women then child bearers. There is absolutely NO way to make child bearing and responsibility 100% fair. Yes it sucks men don't have a say so, but you know what else sucks? The fact that a father can walk away from a child and be only ordered to pay money, yet a woman walks away from their child and they are facing neglect charges! Crimes that are commited against children in the household where the mother is sentenced TWICE more harsh than the father because the mother is supposed to be the "instinctive" one.

People just need to give it a rest.when men are able to carry a bear a child, maybe the laws will be "fair". Until then, there will always be a biased system and the only 100% solution to the problem is to stop fucking random people.









Life isn't fair, deal with it!



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:46 PM
If you are married the rules are different and it's a completely different application you are given.



"There's a lot of confusion surrounding the issue of single mothers, fathers, and birth certificates. First, you should know that legally including the father's name on a state-issued birth certificate requires his participation. So if he happens to be unavailable — because you don't know who he is or cannot locate him — it's a non-issue. Even if you listed him on the application, it wouldn't make it on to the actual birth certificate without his signature on a legal Acknowledgement of Paternity form."

Quoting almondpigeon:

What do you mean "no woman can sign a father on the birth certificate"?  i've filled out the birth certificates for all my kids & i've never had an issue with signing dad's name. we are married, so that may make it a little different, but i've never been asked to have him present or anything.


Quoting Anonymous:

First off, no women can Sign a father on the birth certificate. If that was te case, Channing tatum would've been the father to all 3 of my children. The father must be there and sign himself.

Second, questions like this are a dead end and if you want to question fairness then people should take it up with GOD, who made women then child bearers. There is absolutely NO way to make child bearing and responsibility 100% fair. Yes it sucks men don't have a say so, but you know what else sucks? The fact that a father can walk away from a child and be only ordered to pay money, yet a woman walks away from their child and they are facing neglect charges! Crimes that are commited against children in the household where the mother is sentenced TWICE more harsh than the father because the mother is supposed to be the "instinctive" one.

People just need to give it a rest.when men are able to carry a bear a child, maybe the laws will be "fair". Until then, there will always be a biased system and the only 100% solution to the problem is to stop fucking random people.



Life isn't fair, deal with it!


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Oh I know... Maybe they don't want to KILL THEIR BABY?????


Quoting Anonymous:

It sucks but in all honesty you could have legally walked away yourself by aborting. That's the point of the post. If women CAN LEGALLY walk away during early pregnancy why cant men?



Quoting Anonymous:

Haha I'm so glad my babies deadbeat dad walked out on us for another woman because I'm going to take him for everything he's got! Fair????? Is it fair my child won't have a father???

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:02 PM
All you women who think an innocent child doesn't deserve a father because the father doesn't want to step up... You need to be punched in the f*ING face. If a woman makes a decision not to kill her child THE FATHER SHOULD BE THERE FOR THE BABY TOO! AFTER ALL IT IS APART OF HIM ! It's BOTH OF THEIR RESPONSIBILITY! THANK GOD YOUR OPINIONS DON'T MATTER AND IT'S THE LAW ;)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:11 PM

It is a huge double standard, and that is why I plan to speak very, very candidly to my son about all of the risks.  The fact of the matter is, when a woman gets pregnant, she has at least two more chances to make a choice that will fix things in her life.  But if a man is involved in that same mistake, he does not get a second chance. He is completely at the mercy of whatever the woman chooses.  Which is yet another reason that men need to start making better choices about where they lay down.  If you would not want to change the woman's diapers when she is eighty years old, do not have sex with her.

Newmom8912
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Yes I understand that not saying its fair

Quoting Bethsunshine:



Quoting Newmom8912:

Sex makes babies. Purposeful or not if didn't want a baby he shouldn't have screwed her


You do realize that with the exception of rape, she also had a choice to have sex so the same argument should apply to the woman. Why that completely flies over people's heads is beyond me!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mel0dy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:25 PM

 It's not fair.

Freela
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM

No, it's not fair. But nothing you can do would make it fair. Biology has inherently made it unfair. You'd have to take it up with God or Mother Nature!

jj4ij
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:40 PM

 Well, a man can choose to put a f*cking condom on.......  I have yet to see one actually break.  I mean, If they know what size to buy... and how to put them on.  He has to make sure to leave some room at the tip, for collection, if he does that....  they are pretty much accurate. 

I read on here every day how the condom broke, but come on, really?   The only way they can break is if they are OLD... ( buy some new ones ) or if they are put on incorrectly. 

He plays a part in birth control...  in addition to wearing a condom, if he is not committed to this woman and they don't together PLAN a baby, he should also pull out. 

He should have been responsible from the beginning and then he would not be worrying down the road about a baby that she chose to NOT KEEP.  Especially in your scenario, it appears as if they were never even really together. 

Sex is ok, if responsibility is taken, otherwise it is a sure way for 18 + years of responsibility.......... 

Ali5683
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:47 PM

It's a double standard. But it is what it is.

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