I know its late, its a Sunday night/Monday morning , but the kids get an extra day off because of budget cuts to their school, and Im bored, so anyone have any jokes, funny pics, etc?? Anything goes, so if you get offended GTFO! thanks
Your mommas so fat if you cut her she bleed chocolate !
Your momma so nasty her crabs bungee jump from her tampon string
Chuck norris has a grizzly bear as his carpet, the bear isnt dead its just afraid to move
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.