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Should I tell him if he asks? Updated

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 101 Replies
Tomorrow I have my gender ultrasound. The dad and I aren't talking. Last time I talked to him he told me I should have had an abortion because he thinks his life is ruined now. When I said I wouldn't he said I should just give it up then. My feelings are so hurt by this. I haven't spoken to him since then. It's been a week. He does know that I have the ultrasound tomorrow. If he texts...because I know he won't call...should I tell him what I'm having? He's made a million jokes in the past about how he only wants it if its a boy. He's Asian so I assume he's just jokin around about it. Ha









I'd never keep the baby from him. I want him to be involved, for the baby's sake. I'm just really mad and hurt. Should I just act like I never got a text? Or should I answer him an say...?





***ive decided to have zero contact with him. If he texts or even calls I will not say one word to him. This may make him decided to have nothin to do with the baby...one can only hope.





I came to this decision based off what he posted to Facebook:





"So I guess she finds out the sex tomorrow :/"





These are the comments...him and this other girl who is dating one of his friends. A is him T is her.





T: probably not yours get a DNA test!!!


A: can only hope so lol


T: amen. Fuck child support she's probably raking in a good lifestyle with all these kids she has. Pitty any man that sleeps with this baby machine in the future


A: I just want it to come out black so I'll be in the clear


T: no need in stressing yourself out for that long. Just say it was entrapment and you'll get away easily. Lmao


A: yea entrapment, man everyone reading this who doesn't know her is going to think I'm a real asshole lol


T: yea but I know her and you're not. I would shoot my foot before having to see her moley face again. I've neve forgiven her since she took a shit in my favorite shorts a s his them behind my washer.


A: wtf lol


T: yea dude she stayed the night at my house and borrowed clothes to sleep in. Next morning I find my shorts hidden behind the washer covered in shit


A: booboo I didn't need to know that lol


T: haha it's a pretty hilarious story that I love to tell everyone who knows her


A: how long ago was it


T: a while she was 15 I was 12


A: I forgot you was young





And in case you didn't figure it out they were talkin about me. And clear things up this girl and I used to be friends back when we were little. Actually I was more friends with her sister. I most certainly didn't shit in her pants let alone even borrow clothes from her. My house was right next to hers. If I needed clothes I would have jut went to my house an got something. Also her and I weren't even talking when I was 15 because I wasn't allowed to hang out with her anymore. Her dad molested her sister so last time we talked i was about 9 or 10. It really hurts my feelings that this crap was posted. None of its true. I can't believe he would talk bad about me like that. I've never done anything to him. I still have all these messages that he sent me saying how he loved me and wanted to be with me. I'm just so mad. I think it's best that I have no contact with him because I'll probably say something ill regret later. And I'd prefer he have no involvement in his child's life.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HipLikeJunk
by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:26 PM

If he asks, I think you should tell him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd tell him if he asks, but since that's the way he was behaving I wouldn't go out of my way to tell him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM
I would just reply with boy or girl. I mean it.is his baby to and he has every right to know. Maybe he's just in shock? He might change once he knows the sex.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM
I'm not really tryin to be petty. But he said he feels his life is ruined now. How can this baby ruin his life? What does he have going for him anyway? He lives with his dad and works at a dollar store. He goes out and he drinks too much. I just don't see what part of his life is now messed up? Yea I know he sounds like a loser. Guess I was too stupid to see it before.
vale131
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:29 PM

Not sure what your situation is, but I think you should tell him. Sometimes it takes a little bit for a daddy to come around especially if he is young. Keep him in the loop until he proves otherwise - give it time....

notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I would tell him. He needs to be a father.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:30 PM
He is 23.

Quoting vale131:

Not sure what your situation is, but I think you should tell him. Sometimes it takes a little bit for a daddy to come around especially if he is young. Keep him in the loop until he proves otherwise - give it time....

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this

This is just my opinion but you asked so here it goes.  I think if he cares enough to ask and you refuse to answer then you shouldn't be surprised when he stops trying to be a part of the babies life.  Example; a friend of mine broke up with her bf just before she found out she was pregnant.  He sent her a few texts asking about the baby(different things each time) and she would never tell him anything. After the first few months he stopped texting and asking. Then after she delivered he took her to court for paternity and shared custody.  She keep saying well he never wanted anything to do with the baby before, why should he get custody and he wasn't there when she was born why should I have to share custody with him.   I think she just wanted him to keep texting her the whole time she was pregnant and he just didn't want to deal with her not sharing any info and decided to just wait until after the baby was born to be involved.  So if you want him involved in the pregnancy and delivery you should share info.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I would change my number and not tell him shit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd just answer back "take me to court if you want anything to do with the baby, otherwise leave me the fuck alone". 

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