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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Very very bold of you bio dad... Extremely BOLD... One year later update!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies
1 mom liked this
To ask to have my dd alone for a few hours, even though your just meeting her for the first time in 7 years. I know you are her bio dad and his family but really really bold of you to ask and think i would EVER say "yes you can take dd to your house for a couple hours and then bring her back".... she doesnt know you well yet. so that is a big fat NO or more a HELL NO. Lets re visit this whole alone visit idea in a year when she knows you people better and are an active part of her life. UPDATE... already... and the verdict! They accepted my answer and agreed with me that is not best at this time for alone time... i guess this vent was a little too soon to post oh and i was polite back.... not like here where im a litte peeved and harsh i just said nicely that he is new to her life and i dont want to make her any more uncomfortable then she is already going to be... they agreed that they didnt want to do the same and left it at that.

One year later: it's been one year since dd met her bio dad. I am very happy to report that they have an active open communication relationship. The visit last year went very well. Dd as understandably was very shy. We had a mc Donald's party type deal were dd opened Christmas presents then went to a children's museum. As dd opened off I would back out a little bit. By the first half hour at the children's museum I was off playing with my younger kids while dd got some more one on one time with bio dad. Grandma stuck around close to keep extra eyes on her and her comfort level. I reviews photos the next day of her building sand castles with him and giving high fives! I took all the pics and loaded them into a shutterfly photo book she carries everywhere with her!

We had another visit back in June where I backed way off... Still tagged along with my other kids but backed off enough that he and his family had more alone time with dd. basically I was close if she got worried but far enough away that he had the alone chance with her. Went very well. So well after 2 days of visits I let her have a slumber party at her grandmas the next night with her sisters. And that went so well I decided dd could attend a party with grandma (all day event) without me! I'm also going to be driving dd down to halfway point very soon so dd can spend an extended long weekend with bio dad and grandma! Dd talks to grandma every other week. Bio dad and I get along so well we text daily as friends and so he can see how dd is doing that day! I send photos and videos often an they now skype visit! Over all it's been a great transition! Dd started calling bio dad, daddy this summer and now brags about how lucky she is to have 2 daddies! So it ended up a win for everyone!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:13 PM
Guessing the wont know if they should ask again for visits with an attitude like that. I am guessing you don't want bio dad around???
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:13 PM
bump
AlwaysKISA
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:14 PM
Hell no I wouldn't, either!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:14 PM
I would of never set up the meeting and visit if i didnt want him around... he has never met her.... she is almost 7 years old. i think alone visit is a bit much dont you... or would you send your child off with someone the just met because its family.

Quoting Anonymous:

Guessing the wont know if they should ask again for visits with an attitude like that. I am guessing you don't want bio dad around???
firespurity
by Ruby Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:15 PM

Yea she just doesn't want him in her DD's life... We don't even know why. I'd say he should get her for a few hours after a month or two, not in a year. A year is a long time to a child. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guessing the wont know if they should ask again for visits with an attitude like that. I am guessing you don't want bio dad around???


GhettoKoolAide
by Lighthouse Blues on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:15 PM
I'm speechless anon truly speechless.


Quoting Anonymous:

Guessing the wont know if they should ask again for visits with an attitude like that. I am guessing you don't want bio dad around???

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lovelove211
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:16 PM
2 moms liked this
Baby steps. He can't expect to much to soon. I'd say no for the time being as well
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fairyjester
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:18 PM

I agree with you

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:18 PM
Agree. We wouldn't send our kid with a stranger and bio family or not...they are strangers to the child!!!

Quoting lovelove211:

Baby steps. He can't expect to much to soon. I'd say no for the time being as well
mem82
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:18 PM
I agree with you. If he is serious, he'll wait it out.
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