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ok ladies need your help! homework issues with my oldest. warning long there is no way i can shorten it.

Posted by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:39 AM
  • 17 Replies
Ok let me say sorry ahead of time because I am posting on my tablet and haven't figured out how to turn of the auto word thingy.


Ok so here is the situation my 11dss has a school project that is do next Monday the 17th called "Ghost towns of America" . It is a 3 part project he has to drawn a map of the US and abbreviate all the states and label major rivers and roads showing how to get to the ghost town. Then he has to draw a poster advertising the ghost town to get " people" to visit it. And for the last part he has to make a four square(which when I was in school it was a web or whatever) and make sure everything in in correct order.





Example: What brought people to the town? Who founded it? What year was the town discovered? Why did it become a ghost town? And so on on so forth. For me this is no big problem I like writing.





But know here lays the problem. I talked to the teacher last week and I knew the project was coming up. The teacher said she would send the paper explaining the project home that week. Well come Friday ds did not have it I asked him if he had it he said no. So I emailed the teacher Friday and got a reply today saying she sent the project paper home Thursday, but she will put it in a sealed envelope and send it home to me. Well she did. I waited for ds to have a chance to give it to me before I went through his bag. I asked if he had something to give me he said yes and handed me paper for the Christmas party to sign. So I go through his bag and binder . He was pissed but oh well I feel his grades are more important. Well he asked if he could play Xbox and I told him no because his project is a big part of this grading period. He was once again pissed.





I told him we would sit down together and go through list of ghost towns. But we needed to find one that had enough information to answer the above questions. He started complaining. I explained nicely if he wouldn't of tried hiding the project paper from me we could of worked on it for a few hours this weekend and he would beable to still play video games. Once again he didn't like the response he got.





His last two writing projects he rushed through everything was all over the place. Nothing was in order what so ever he didn't seem to have tried but still made a ok grade on the papers. But also there was one time I didn't help him with his homework and he blamed me for getting a bad grade. I explained to him he is a big boy and doesnt need me to hold his hand while doing homework. He already know he will not get me to give him the answer. Anyways he is also adhd and so he goes well I want papa to help me ok I can see getting help with a little bit of drawing and the map part. My fil is a truck driver so he knows maps better than I do. But ds still thinks he is going to put the Xbox before his project. My dh will not be home until Friday because his job has him traveling to different places. He is a contractor. I want him to do good on this project because his last two weren't very good but were ok.





As a parent we all want our kids to do well in school. But is fighting with him really the best thing at hand I have three other kids age range from 10yrs old- 1yr old. I don't mind helping him with picking out the right town, but I am not going to do it for him. He needs to do it on his own for the most part. I will help him with spelling because that counts as points off which just cracks me up


Because the school stops focusing on spelling in the 3rd grade. They no longer do spelling test so yet they expect spelling to be up to par, but they don't focus hard core on it. I see this week being a constant fight about video games and this project. So here


Is thevtrue question: should I force him to do it or let him learn from his own actions? If he plays the Xbox he will not get it done. But also if he fails he is going turn the tables and blame me for his bad grade. I don't have to do the stuff i do for him. Lord knows his real mom wouldn't. She can't even send him and his brother a birthday card nor bother paying child support and a bunch of other things. I know part of him is acting out because it is that time of the year for a visit to dear mom's house and him and his brother don't want to go. But yet this project is important. Dh said don't help him make him do it on his own and when he rushes through it and fails because he put the games before his school work then he will be grounded for a month from every thing. He needs to learn that school is more important and this is the only way.





So there it is what would you ladies do in this situation? Make him learn the hard way or fight every day with him to do it? I feel like by not making him work hard on it is setting him up for failure.
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by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
meagan0716
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:46 AM
Bump
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LucyHarper
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I would unplus the xbox, put it in my closet, and tell him he is not getting it back until the project is done and done well, the more he complains, the longer it will be before he gets it back. Then I would sit him down and tell him he is a big boy, he needs to do his own project, you know he is smart and can do this on his own, he should not have people doing parts of it for him or helping him so much, he needs to learn to do these things on his own. Tell him you will be avaiable if he needs a push in the right direction or help researching something, but otherwise, he is responsible for his work. 

meagan0716
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:55 AM
Sorry forgot being so long I know how woman on her complain post are two long. I tried to makenit short as possible. But then nobody would understand the situation at all. I am just ready to do what dh said to do. But I feel it would be my fault as well if I don't make him do it and let him rush through it. And then of course the blame will fall on me as it is because ds will say well it't your fault because you didn't help me.
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Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:56 AM

Stick to your guns......he can only play the game AFTER he finishes the project and he must do the project correctly.

Just tell him that and walk away.....stop going back and forth arguing with him....he is the child and you are the parent


Amiehart62
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:58 AM

i didnt read the whole post but from what i did read if it were me i would take the xbox away until the project is done and until after grading and if he gets a poor grade i would not let him play until he can get his priorities in order.

 

 

playing video games is a luxury not a right and good grades is a must. the xbox is a reward for good behavior and showing mom and dad that the kid knows what is important and can prioritize.

hisgirl616
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:58 AM
This exactly! I have an 11 year old dd and homework is a battle. She has consequences and is starting to finally get it!


Quoting LucyHarper:

I would unplus the xbox, put it in my closet, and tell him he is not getting it back until the project is done and done well, the more he complains, the longer it will be before he gets it back. Then I would sit him down and tell him he is a big boy, he needs to do his own project, you know he is smart and can do this on his own, he should not have people doing parts of it for him or helping him so much, he needs to learn to do these things on his own. Tell him you will be avaiable if he needs a push in the right direction or help researching something, but otherwise, he is responsible for his work. 


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meagan0716
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:59 AM
That is how I feel but his brother is doing good in school so why should I punish him by taking away the Xbox ds 10 is on Ab honor roll and actually brought his grades up from the last progress report.

Quoting LucyHarper:

I would unplus the xbox, put it in my closet, and tell him he is not getting it back until the project is done and done well, the more he complains, the longer it will be before he gets it back. Then I would sit him down and tell him he is a big boy, he needs to do his own project, you know he is smart and can do this on his own, he should not have people doing parts of it for him or helping him so much, he needs to learn to do these things on his own. Tell him you will be avaiable if he needs a push in the right direction or help researching something, but otherwise, he is responsible for his work. 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:05 AM
I'd break the fuckin Xbox. It soynds like hes obsessed with it and it will only get worse. He needs some time away from it if it is causing him to ignite life. Good luck.
meagan0716
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:10 AM
Taking the Xbox way wouldn't be fair to my 10yr old he has Ab honor roll and brought his grades up even higher than the last progress report. They both know that the video games are a luxury and only come after their choirs and their school work. Yes him and his brother did put theif money together and buy it for themselves but they were still told it was a luxury and of course ds 11 wants to start the misbehaving when dh leaves again to go back to work. We had a discussion this weekend about how all three of our older kids treat me including my 5yr old and I told them all if they didn't pull their act together that they will learn really quickly what it is like to live with out the luxuries they have. I told them they were lucky to have the things they do because there are a lot of kids out there that doesn't have anything close to what they have. Our 10yr old and 5yr old got it right off the bat. Poor ds 10 looked like he was going to cry and dd well she doesn't play video games she uses her imagination and plays with her toys. But man is ds 11 very stubborn.

Quoting Amiehart62:

i didnt read the whole post but from what i did read if it were me i would take the xbox away until the project is done and until after grading and if he gets a poor grade i would not let him play until he can get his priorities in order.


 


 


playing video games is a luxury not a right and good grades is a must. the xbox is a reward for good behavior and showing mom and dad that the kid knows what is important and can prioritize.

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meagan0716
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:14 AM
Oh trust me I would love to. But it is not just his. Him and his brother bought it together. So I have to thinking the other child as well in this situation. Which we had explained to them when they decide to pull their money together it was still a luxury and school work and choirs came first. Ds 10 has Ab honor role and he brought his grades up even higher than when the last 3 wk progress report came out. So I have to be far to the child how is atleast doing right.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'd break the fuckin Xbox. It soynds like hes obsessed with it and it will only get worse. He needs some time away from it if it is causing him to ignite life. Good luck.
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