ok ladies need your help! homework issues with my oldest. warning long there is no way i can shorten it.
Ok so here is the situation my 11dss has a school project that is do next Monday the 17th called "Ghost towns of America" . It is a 3 part project he has to drawn a map of the US and abbreviate all the states and label major rivers and roads showing how to get to the ghost town. Then he has to draw a poster advertising the ghost town to get " people" to visit it. And for the last part he has to make a four square(which when I was in school it was a web or whatever) and make sure everything in in correct order.
Example: What brought people to the town? Who founded it? What year was the town discovered? Why did it become a ghost town? And so on on so forth. For me this is no big problem I like writing.
But know here lays the problem. I talked to the teacher last week and I knew the project was coming up. The teacher said she would send the paper explaining the project home that week. Well come Friday ds did not have it I asked him if he had it he said no. So I emailed the teacher Friday and got a reply today saying she sent the project paper home Thursday, but she will put it in a sealed envelope and send it home to me. Well she did. I waited for ds to have a chance to give it to me before I went through his bag. I asked if he had something to give me he said yes and handed me paper for the Christmas party to sign. So I go through his bag and binder . He was pissed but oh well I feel his grades are more important. Well he asked if he could play Xbox and I told him no because his project is a big part of this grading period. He was once again pissed.
I told him we would sit down together and go through list of ghost towns. But we needed to find one that had enough information to answer the above questions. He started complaining. I explained nicely if he wouldn't of tried hiding the project paper from me we could of worked on it for a few hours this weekend and he would beable to still play video games. Once again he didn't like the response he got.
His last two writing projects he rushed through everything was all over the place. Nothing was in order what so ever he didn't seem to have tried but still made a ok grade on the papers. But also there was one time I didn't help him with his homework and he blamed me for getting a bad grade. I explained to him he is a big boy and doesnt need me to hold his hand while doing homework. He already know he will not get me to give him the answer. Anyways he is also adhd and so he goes well I want papa to help me ok I can see getting help with a little bit of drawing and the map part. My fil is a truck driver so he knows maps better than I do. But ds still thinks he is going to put the Xbox before his project. My dh will not be home until Friday because his job has him traveling to different places. He is a contractor. I want him to do good on this project because his last two weren't very good but were ok.
As a parent we all want our kids to do well in school. But is fighting with him really the best thing at hand I have three other kids age range from 10yrs old- 1yr old. I don't mind helping him with picking out the right town, but I am not going to do it for him. He needs to do it on his own for the most part. I will help him with spelling because that counts as points off which just cracks me up
Because the school stops focusing on spelling in the 3rd grade. They no longer do spelling test so yet they expect spelling to be up to par, but they don't focus hard core on it. I see this week being a constant fight about video games and this project. So here
Is thevtrue question: should I force him to do it or let him learn from his own actions? If he plays the Xbox he will not get it done. But also if he fails he is going turn the tables and blame me for his bad grade. I don't have to do the stuff i do for him. Lord knows his real mom wouldn't. She can't even send him and his brother a birthday card nor bother paying child support and a bunch of other things. I know part of him is acting out because it is that time of the year for a visit to dear mom's house and him and his brother don't want to go. But yet this project is important. Dh said don't help him make him do it on his own and when he rushes through it and fails because he put the games before his school work then he will be grounded for a month from every thing. He needs to learn that school is more important and this is the only way.
So there it is what would you ladies do in this situation? Make him learn the hard way or fight every day with him to do it? I feel like by not making him work hard on it is setting him up for failure.