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I'm afraid I'll be turned off by him and am I selfish??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My husband is trying to lose 100 lbs, give or take. He is a pretty big guy, around 280, although years ago he was RIPPED. He is losing pretty rapidly, and I am concerned about several things. 

First of all, I am worried that once he reaches his goal, he'll have loose, saggy skin from being overweight for so many years, and I'm worried that It will completely turn me off. 

Second of all, I have never known him to be ripped, fit and so forth. I have seen pictures, and it doesn't even look like him. Part of what attracted me to him, in the first place, was how big he is, and I'm afraid he'll just look too much different than when I fell in love with him.

Thirdly, I am afraid that he'll lose all this weight, beef back up, and want a prettier girl because he's no longer overweight. 


I'm horrible, right?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:45 AM
Replies (21-30):
StoneColdKiller
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:00 AM

 Its only cause its the unknown, if you love him (I assume you are telling the truth) this will not effect you like you think it will.

Quoting Anonymous:

Im not saying I won't love him anymore. I've just seen after pictures of people who have lost a lot of weight. I'm just talking about in the bedroom..... The thought of huge, loose skin just weirds me out.


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 I have been married for 12 years, both me and my husband have gone up and down and havent always looked good, atleast for us (and I would image for a lot of people) physical attraction ends once you really are in love with the person.


Quoting Anonymous:


My husband is my absolute world. However, I'm not naive enough to believe physical attraction doesn't matter one whit in a relationship. 


Quoting StoneColdKiller:


 Sounds like you have low self esteem and not sure how much you love your husband.


If you love him, really any way he looks will not be a turn off, and if he loves you he will not want anyone but you.


 


 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:12 AM


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 Sounds like you have low self esteem and not sure how much you love your husband.

If you love him, really any way he looks will not be a turn off, and if he loves you he will not want anyone but you.

I'm sorry, but this is inaccurate. Love and physical attraction is not one and the same, and I hate when they are clumped together. Seeing hanging, loose, sagging skin is probably a turn off for most. Does it mean you don't love your spouse? Or that you aren't attracted to other qualities about them? Not at all. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:22 AM

There is a possibility he won't have huge, loose skin going down to 180. I am only 5'3 and was at almost 220 a few years ago, and lost 95 pounds with no loose skin at all, and I have even went through pregnancies, so you just never know. I would not worry about crossing that bridge until you actually get on it, because it's a very big possibility he may not have the problem at all, or a lot less at least. If it's a lot of loose skin, I would imagine he would be bothered by it as well, and there are procedures to look in to for it, but like I said, I wouldn't bother worrying over this at all right now.

Be supportive of him. Stroke his ego. That's  a big complaint I see from people losing weight. When their spouse is sulky, bitter and resentful toward them because of their own insecurities. I have seen people admit how off putting it was knowing their spouse felt that way. Be his supporter, and make him feel great for making an effort to get healthier, because doing the opposite can drive a wedge between you two. Even participate with him, and tone up yourself so you can feel more confident and make a good change, too. It will really help. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:24 AM
How tall is he bc 185 on a guy with height is not beefy.... It's lanky
StoneColdKiller
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:30 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 Sounds like you have low self esteem and not sure how much you love your husband.

If you love him, really any way he looks will not be a turn off, and if he loves you he will not want anyone but you.

I'm sorry, but this is inaccurate. Love and physical attraction is not one and the same, and I hate when they are clumped together. Seeing hanging, loose, sagging skin is probably a turn off for most. Does it mean you don't love your spouse? Or that you aren't attracted to other qualities about them? Not at all. 

 its that you dont care it doesnt stop how you feel and that you want to be close to that person.

 

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:46 AM

I like your second reason, dh is a little plump and plumper than when we first met but he knows that I  like a little cushion on a man.

have you voiced your concerns to him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:49 AM


Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 Sounds like you have low self esteem and not sure how much you love your husband.


If you love him, really any way he looks will not be a turn off, and if he loves you he will not want anyone but you.

xomrs.chase
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:52 AM
I have loose skin on my tummy from pregnancy. Dh and I still romp like wild animals. I'm sure you'll be fine
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:58 AM

Nah

MotherOF5Cuties
by Abby on Dec. 11, 2012 at 5:00 AM
I think he will be 180 lol


Quoting Peaceful.chaos:

He's trying to weigh 80 lbs?

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