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Did things cool off after marriage?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 45 Replies
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Did you and your husband's sex life cool off?  I don't mean stop completely, but has sex dwindled?  Do you go through up and down cycles?  Is normal to lose some of the passion?  If so, how do you get it back?

Don't get me wrong, my DH and I have great sex when we do have it.  I orgasm, and so does he.  That's not the issue.  The issue is that we're not adventurous anymore.  We only have sex in the bedroom.  No where else.  We pretty much only do it with me on top (I'm not complaining, it's our favorite).  We shower together, but there's no more foreplay.  It's just routine business for us, and we talk.  There's no more hot sex in the living room or on the bathroom counter. Not even in a chair.  It's strictly on the bed in our bedroom.  We have sex about once a week.  While I don't think that is a horrible thing, I do wish that we did more often.  I wish that I could say that it was all my DH, but I know that some of it is me.  We are just in a lazy rut.  I don't know what to do to get out of it.  We do have 5 kids and one on the way.  He works a full time job plus some extra hours when needed, and he is in graduate school.  I just feel like we have too many excuses not to.  I'm sick of it.  We used to be like rabbits before we got married.  Now, I just feel tired, and sometimes just down right unwanted.  Everything is routine, and just not very passionate.  What do I do?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Meghan6391
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:31 PM
We use to be crazy and into some kinky things, sex was amazing and happened daily if not a few times a day... now after 3 yrs of marriage its a once in a blue moon thing, nothing kinky just wam bam thank you maam sorda thing. Its still good but its not the same.. i miss sex
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:38 PM

 We used to be pretty kinky too.  Not so much now.  I wouldn't describe it as wam bam thank you ma'am, but it's just lazy.  Like, he will say. "someone's getting some tongue tonight."  Then, when the time comes, he goes straight to it, and it lasts all of 10 mins from start to finish.  No more touching and groping.  No more passionate kissing.  It's just sex like routine, get over with sex.  I guess I feel like he doesn't want to take the time anymore.  Kind of like he doesn't care about it anymore.  A lot of this could be pregnancy hormones, too.  A lot of nights, I'm just whipped after finally getting the kids down.  I realize this, but he's not like these other men that I read about on here.  He's not after me really at all.  He's completely nonchalant about it.  If he gets fine, if not that's fine too.  Other than this, he is loving and thoughtful.  He loves to cuddle. 

Quoting Meghan6391:

We use to be crazy and into some kinky things, sex was amazing and happened daily if not a few times a day... now after 3 yrs of marriage its a once in a blue moon thing, nothing kinky just wam bam thank you maam sorda thing. Its still good but its not the same.. i miss sex

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:39 PM

Yep, after marriage and after we had our youngest.

theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:40 PM

We've only been married 5 years, so we haven't really noticed any slowing down yet.

EmilysMom2010
by Ruby Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:40 PM
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It cooled off well before marriage. Then it heated back up again. Then it cooled off again. Probably ten times up and down over the years. It's a process. Hahaha
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MsRkg
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:41 PM
We've been together for 10 years now and we are still going as strong as when we met. We can't get enough of each other. Honestly though his libido has been shooting through the roof lately and I'm having trouble keeping up with him. This is a first for us. Lol.
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CrimsonRadiance
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:41 PM

We have been married for over 8 years now. It has dwindled some.. but I blame me gaining weight after having our boys. DH still always wants it, but I'm never in the mood, so I know my hormones are all out of whack :( . I've been slowly loosing weight, and am joining a gym (my Christmas present) so I hope that helps. 

spooky415
by Ruby Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:43 PM
it did for awhile but i dont think it was bc of marriage so much as it was bc of stress. we were really broke wnen we started out, lol.

now that we are better off its like the honeymoon phase all over again. we have sex all the time. like, at least once a day. we might go a few days, but usually only because we're tired or have a lot going on.
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moneysaver6
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Nope...because we didn't have sex until after marriage.
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Meghan6391
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Ya its just sex here, no kissy huggy touchy stuff any more. Maybe once in a blue moon but now if and when we do its me on top once we both do our deed were done. Im hoping once the baby gets here and he gets snipped like he wants things will change. But idk. All else ill go get tons of toys lol


Quoting Anonymous:

 We used to be pretty kinky too.  Not so much now.  I wouldn't describe it as wam bam thank you ma'am, but it's just lazy.  Like, he will say. "someone's getting some tongue tonight."  Then, when the time comes, he goes straight to it, and it lasts all of 10 mins from start to finish.  No more touching and groping.  No more passionate kissing.  It's just sex like routine, get over with sex.  I guess I feel like he doesn't want to take the time anymore.  Kind of like he doesn't care about it anymore.  A lot of this could be pregnancy hormones, too.  A lot of nights, I'm just whipped after finally getting the kids down.  I realize this, but he's not like these other men that I read about on here.  He's not after me really at all.  He's completely nonchalant about it.  If he gets fine, if not that's fine too.  Other than this, he is loving and thoughtful.  He loves to cuddle. 


Quoting Meghan6391:

We use to be crazy and into some kinky things, sex was amazing and happened daily if not a few times a day... now after 3 yrs of marriage its a once in a blue moon thing, nothing kinky just wam bam thank you maam sorda thing. Its still good but its not the same.. i miss sex

 


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