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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Moving, SO is mad, please give honest advice. **UPDATE**

Posted by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:22 PM
  • 34 Replies

So here are the details

I am staying with family but come january I am ready to move on to my own

I told my boyfriend my two options and which one I have decided on

option #1:  a place that is 30min from school, 30min from boyfriend, 1hr from work, 20min from sons father

Option #2: a place that is 1.5hrs from school minimum, 1.5hrs from bf minimum, 1hr from sons dad minimum, 20min from work


I told him that I am going with option #1 because I can be closer to him and still have a life and not be on the road all of the time

He got mad at me

said "you are going to move closer to your sons dad, surprising!"

Now I am like, I would move closer to him but it's a huge difference in affordability, I would have to live in the ghetto to even be able to afford living there, you have to be practically rich to live that close to san francisco and feel safe.  So I am choosing the suburbs on the outskirts, yes it's a bit of a drive, but it's not like I have many options here. 

Plus on days that I have school I could stay with my boyfiriend because my sons dad can take my son easier.  I just don't know

I am trying to get him to understand

he has major trust issues, he has been cheated on way too much, in awful ways so I understand maybe he is having a hard time trusting me, but I am just trying to put my life together, that is all. Seriuosly.

This is what I wrote to him because he is kind of ignoring me right now, he is pretty mad because I think he realizes there is nothing he can do::::

I'm sorry that you don't trust me to move closer to my sons dad.  It is really just because it's more affordable and his dad will be able to switch with me more often so that I can go to work, and school, and see you and still be a present mom. I am open to talking to you about other options that would set better with you because I love and care about you.  But I have to put my relationship with my son first.  I am a much happier person when I can see my son daily, and I'm just going to keep being super needy of you, if I don't feel that gap that is there from not being with my son as much as I need to.

I just want you to know, when I do move, you can have a key, know the alarm code, come by anytime, etc.  I am looking to rent a house so I will actually love company at that point.  Just think about it love. I am just trying to be a good mom, something I hope you can appreciate.

We can go get some drinks If you want later to discuss this. I don't want to hurt you that is why I want to make sure you are right there every step of the way. 


by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Ditch him
TaughtTot
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM

If it comes to that 

but I am trying to avoid that as much as possible.

Quoting Anonymous:

Ditch him


skittlebeans88
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM
He needs to start trusting you and not guilt you into what only he wants.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Ok, well then talk to him. Write him a letter.

Explain that he needs to trust you, or things might not work out.


Quoting TaughtTot:

If it comes to that 

but I am trying to avoid that as much as possible.

Quoting Anonymous:

Ditch him



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:25 PM
I on't understand. They both make you closer to the dad of your son, then your bf... Is it that you are moving closer to him from your location now?
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:26 PM
2 moms liked this
I'd dump him. Jealousy and insecurity are things I don't deal well with. He's being an ass because people who are not you have abused his trust. And he's wanting you to arrange your life around his baggage.
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bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:27 PM
I wouldn't even attempt to get him to understand. If he is that insecure I wouldn't even want him around.
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TaughtTot
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:27 PM

yes right now we are 1.5-2 hours apart, Im really close to my bf, but I need to be able to be more available to my sons dad as our schedules are tight, and money is tight, and everything is tight.  It might not even be that long, maybe a year, but I can get on my feel a bit better.  I am struggling so much financially out here. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I on't understand. They both make you closer to the dad of your son, then your bf... Is it that you are moving closer to him from your location now?


invisibleme
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:28 PM
Option 1 is best for you.
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Thibmom
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:28 PM
This is what I was thinking.

Quoting Anonymous:

I on't understand. They both make you closer to the dad of your son, then your bf... Is it that you are moving closer to him from your location now?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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