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I am so ashamed of myself..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

For those who know my story please dont call me out cause what i have done i am so ashamed that i am crying..crying...i am in so much pain with the loss of a major person in my life, that i thought pain killers would numb my pain. So while my aunt was gone I stole about 30 pain killers and started popping two or three. My husband came in the door asked what was I doing and I said nothing. I got high and felt nothing and fell asleep. I woke up this morning feeling way worse knowing this person had to be laid to rest. My aunt went out to her car, I quickly popped into her room and stole another 30 pills. She has over 200 pain pills because her dr gives her four months worth so I knew she wouldnt know. I know it was bad.. I know..I just wanted to be high and not feel the pain i am in. I did call the 1-800 number to my physc dr and I have a appt first thing monday morning. I am just so ashamed..I never stole anything in my life..now I stole pills just for a selfish reason..just to get high and not feel the lost of this person. Like I said PRETTY PLEASE DONT CALL ME OUT.. I am already ashamed and crying...I just needed to share..thanks ladies..

 

 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
edelweiss23
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Killing yourself won't solve anything.

Go find a counselor to talk to. A grief counselor will be able to help you through this.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this

you felt so bad you stole some more :-(

samanthastaatss
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:14 AM

Mama don't post this on here, people will be nasty regardless of knowing the real situation at hand. My father died from an overdose and I still cannot believe he's gone to this day, please don't take it lightly-I know you're in pain but there are so many other methods for you to use in order to feel better.

ahappymommy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:15 AM

Your getting help, thats all that matters. Things will get better hon! Hugs to you!

Serenity7
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:15 AM

 (((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

Linda
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Love060708kids
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this

((HUGS))

Definitely seek counseling, which you have.  I hope that counseling helps you.  I'm so sorry :(

mz23
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:17 AM
You should go to the hospital. Sorry your feeling sad, I am too. But imagine how sad your loved ones would be if you left them : (
imultracool
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:18 AM
2 moms liked this

You need to admit to your aunt what you did. She needs to be able to let her dr know in case she runs out of pills early and has to explain why. You dont want her dr thinking she is abusing them because he may deny her more and she obviously needs them. Everyone messes up. But its what you do from here on out that will define the kind of person you are. I know you can do the right thing. Its hard but when you look back at this time you will feel good that you did the right thing. And you wont look back on this as the point where you started your downward spiral into a life all about being high and getting drugs. Ive been there. It is no where any one should be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:20 AM


Quoting :

 

 

like i said i have never had done this before..i just wanted to numb the pain..my heart is broken and i am reaching out for help when i seen what i was really doing to myself..so please stop the nastyness..you have no clue the pain i feel

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:23 AM


Quoting imultracool:

You need to admit to your aunt what you did. She needs to be able to let her dr know in case she runs out of pills early and has to explain why. You dont want her dr thinking she is abusing them because he may deny her more and she obviously needs them. Everyone messes up. But its what you do from here on out that will define the kind of person you are. I know you can do the right thing. Its hard but when you look back at this time you will feel good that you did the right thing. And you wont look back on this as the point where you started your downward spiral into a life all about being high and getting drugs. Ive been there. It is no where any one should be.

how can I come clean? How do I start the covo "hey aunt x, sorry but i stole some pills cause I wanted to numb myself?" I know I need to come clean and I dont wanna start down a dark path that can lean to many troubles. Like i did say I called my physc dr and i see him monday and I am admitting everything to him. I have never done drugs, never took pain killers, I have never drank..i dont know what came over me i just wanted the feelign to stop..

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