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This is how you should look for your DH/SO. (Added pics)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ladies, he is providing for you. The least you can do is keep sexy for him. I have to agree...Men stray because women let themselves go and gain weight, stop wearing makeup, wear slouch clothes, etc. I'm going to show you what I do to keep myself looking good for my hard working husband, and take my advice, unless you want traded in for a nicer model! 

1. Always make sure to wear makeup for him. No man likes coming home and seeing his wife with a plain, tired looking face with no color to it. Here's a pic of me so you can do it yourself!

2. Do not clean in those nasty sweat pants and  t-shirt! How can he appreciate all you do around he house if the first thing he sees when he gets home is your frumpy butt in potato sacks? Always clean in something like this, unless you want him getting "cleaned" elsewhere.

3. Don't use pregnancy, aging, and human imperfection as an excuse for your boobs not to look the best. Men do not like, natural, floppy boobs. If you can't afford to fix them, you can't afford to have kids, is my motto, and Go big or go home! (and find your man in bed with Busty McDouble D's).

4. Don't let your body go! You say your pregnancies caused those stretch marks and/or sagging skin? Please...We all know that's just from you letting yourself go and getting all fat and frumpy! Your stomach should look like this. No excuses! 

5. No thigh gap equals you're fat. Mmkay? Don't give me that excuse "Wah, that's just how my body is made. I just have bigger thighs!" No, whore...You're just fat. Keep that thigh gap, ladies! 


You're welcome.






Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:07 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:17 AM

The camel toe is the mother ship of all vulva's...

Quoting littlesippycup:

LOL at the camel toe in the next to last pic you SHAMELESS TROLL


Byrd15
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol nah my husband likes that Im not a Whore Barbie. I'm 5'2 and never go over 125 unless Im pregnant like right now. I got some meat on my legs, and a big booty, I wear sweat pants a lot because maternity jeans are hard to find! Lol And if I wore makeup he'd slap it off me, not really, but I've never worn makeup and wouldn't know what is what, I haven't cut my hair in months because I'm growing it out for him, and I don't own a blow dryer or straightener. :)
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mss119
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Hahaha, SO would be pissed if I lost my thighs! I've been losing weight and he keeps telling me to make sure I don't lose my ass or my thighs, he loves them :-)
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3lilmonsters88
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:18 AM
Ah kinda like runway lights on a tarmac...interesting!

Quoting Anonymous:

It's cautionary makeup, it's so her dh doesn't hit her in the eye with his business because as we all know perfect women must give their dh nightly bj's so he doesn't stray!

I'm thinking she must have glow in the dark lipstick as well, you wouldn't want your dh to miss!



Quoting 3lilmonsters88:

Hmm does your eye shadow glow in the dark and where can I get me some of that?
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Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:18 AM

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL??????????

Quoting Byrd15:

Lol nah my husband likes that Im not a Whore Barbie. I'm 5'2 and never go over 125 unless Im pregnant like right now. I got some meat on my legs, and a big booty, I wear sweat pants a lot because maternity jeans are hard to find! Lol And if I wore makeup he'd slap it off me, not really, but I've never worn makeup and wouldn't know what is what, I haven't cut my hair in months because I'm growing it out for him, and I don't own a blow dryer or straightener. :)


Creid74
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:19 AM
This person is imbecilic, not even going to entertain this ignorance. Lol wow think I have heard it all.
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TigOlBitties
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:20 AM
Post of the year!






























Psyche!
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Byrd15
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:20 AM
Yes my dear? :)

Quoting Sassy762:

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL??????????

Quoting Byrd15:

Lol nah my husband likes that Im not a Whore Barbie. I'm 5'2 and never go over 125 unless Im pregnant like right now. I got some meat on my legs, and a big booty, I wear sweat pants a lot because maternity jeans are hard to find! Lol And if I wore makeup he'd slap it off me, not really, but I've never worn makeup and wouldn't know what is what, I haven't cut my hair in months because I'm growing it out for him, and I don't own a blow dryer or straightener. :)


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:20 AM

LMAO!!

Quoting 3lilmonsters88:

Ah kinda like runway lights on a tarmac...interesting!

Quoting Anonymous:

It's cautionary makeup, it's so her dh doesn't hit her in the eye with his business because as we all know perfect women must give their dh nightly bj's so he doesn't stray!

I'm thinking she must have glow in the dark lipstick as well, you wouldn't want your dh to miss!



Quoting 3lilmonsters88:

Hmm does your eye shadow glow in the dark and where can I get me some of that?


mstkn.identity
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:20 AM
I so read that as man boobs. Bwaha

Quoting BuggadosMom:

You are a fucking idiot. Plain and simple



Btw, my dh LOVES my mom boobs ;) choke on that!
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