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I'm ready to chop it off!

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:09 AM
  • 4 Replies

 I swear, I'm about to chop my damned nose off! A week ago, I felt like I had 10 layers of sand paper in my throat, so I was eating throat drops like candy ( and learned a valuable lesson that if you eat too many in a short time span, your throat will go numb, and it will end up numbing your toungue too......yeah....that wasn't fun.....). You try saying * Hi sir! How are you today? * and it coming out sounding like * Tit sit! Sow uh do uhsay?* Yeah......it was an adventurous day to say the least.

Now, however, I have my throat problem fixed ( and only had to eat 5 boxes of throat drops in the process and half a bottle of throat spray that I didn't realize would COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY numb whatever the spray landed on! Funny story, that one, and I'll tell whoever asks first ). Now, though, its all in my nose! I swear I never knew one person could hold this much mucus ( I wanted to say snot, but I figured I'd be nice about it, and say mucus.......wait....I did say snot....oops......) in one tiny spot! I've been blowing my nose so much the last few days that I'm surprised I haven't seen little chunks of brain coming out! It's like the more stuff I take to get rid of this crap, the worse it gets!

I am SO ready to chop off my nose, reach inside, and just pull out all that funk and crud. Would be a bit of an issue getting my nose back on though, wouldn't it? Or do you think duct tape would work? I've heard they have flesh coloured out now.....

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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:09 AM
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Replies (1-4):
butterflymomss
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:14 AM
First I want to say I'm sorry. Now I want to say that I laughed so hard at tit sit. I'm asking about the funny story and I believe duct tape me work although you can try super glue lol. Hope you feel better soon
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klespeedy0205
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:17 AM
I'm sorry but I laughed. I hope you get better. You are a great story teller, ever think about writing?
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maryjmom
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:24 AM

 Yeah...it was definitly a conversation starter, and that convo ususally started out with them giving me a WTF look, and then busting out laughing.

All right.....I have this numbing throat spray. It's antiseptic, and heavily medicated, and numbs the fuck out of whatever it touches ( the last part I had NO IDEA about.....until recently ). Well, I woke up one morning last week and couldn't even open my mouth to brush my teeth my throat hurt so badly. I dug around till I found the spray, and sprayed the hell out of my throat.....or what I thought was my throat. Now, I was still asleep when I did this.....so don't laugh too hard. I had ended up spraying my WHOLE FACE, mouth, lips, toungue, and ( miraculously ) throat! I couldn't talk ALL day!!!!! The feeling finally came back to my lips and toungue after a few hours, and my face got the feeling back after just an hour or so ( face got just a misting, whereas the mouth, toungue an lips, with the throat, got the full force of the spray ).

I'm honestly terrified of that stuff now.....hell if the government wanted they could use that crap as a weapon in war!

Quoting butterflymomss:

First I want to say I'm sorry. Now I want to say that I laughed so hard at tit sit. I'm asking about the funny story and I believe duct tape me work although you can try super glue lol. Hope you feel better soon

 

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maryjmom
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:26 AM
1 mom liked this

 I actually love writing, and am trying to write a book now, but I'm stuck on the first chapter. Kinda funny really. I can get the intro, middle, and ending of the book, but I just can't figure out how I want it to begin! I'm bass ackwards lol.

Quoting klespeedy0205:

I'm sorry but I laughed. I hope you get better. You are a great story teller, ever think about writing?

 

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