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DS isnt listening

Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

and i'm at a complete and total loss.

i tell him to put his socks and shoes on-- takes about 4 times of me telling him, then raising him voice, then he'll come to me... i ask him what he's doing, said to go put your socks and shoes on.. 'i just wanted to give you a hug'... no- you just want to procrastinate.

go do your homework.

pick up your clothes/put your clothes away..

pick up your robe, the floor isnt where it belongs

clean up your toys.

why is there legos on the kitchen counter?

no, you cannot play the xbox... no, you cannot turn it on. no, you arent playing. stop asking to play the xbox.

NO, you arent getting on the computer... no, leave the computer off. you are NOT getting on the computer- stop asking.

if you take your dinner into the den, be sure to eat your food.... *comes to the den*... you havent touched your food! i gave you a HOUR to eat one small slice of pizza and not even a bite is taken out of it! never again.... this is why i didnt want you to have a snack after school, but i caved in b/c you kept begging, crying, 'i'm so starving. i'm so hungry. i'm going to die'

i'm SO freaking close to yanking out my hair. i have to tell him multiple times to do something, or not to do something and he still asks.

last couple of nights was the worst--- grandpa is here for a visit.. for a LONG time. the other night, they told bedtime stories for over a hour long! last night i told him, NO stories. its time for bed... what does he do? begs grandpa to tell him stories... 45 minutes later, they are still at it- even after i said, 'its time to stop. its time for bed'....

w.t.f!? i am so tempted to just stick his butt in the corner from the time he gets home from school until he goes to bed, he can eat in that corner for all i care!

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:40 AM
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:43 AM

ds is 7 years old.. he KNOWS better- all this crap is just new stuff going on- within the last few weeks. he's known since he was 4, that if he asks one adult something and the answer is no, to NOT go to the other adult.. he knows not to play adults against each other... but lately- i have no idea who this child is

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:42 AM

he's 5 so if you let him get away with it, he'll do it again.  all kids are like that -- it's called testing boundaries.  you have to be consistent and firm.  they get the picture pretty fast when you're consistent and the same behaviour gets the same reaction (or punishment) from you.

pick up toys:  give him a choice -- either he picks them up and puts them away or you pick them up and they are confiscated.  

robe/clothes:  either he picks it up or you pick it up and you picking it up means taking away a favorite toy.  

lego:  he gets them or you get them and they are confiscated.

computer:  make rules around when he can use the computer and stick with them.  if it means he can use it daily before dinner, fine.  but don't be wishy washy ie. let him use it sometimes before dinner and not other times or let him use it both before and after dinner.  when kids are familiar with consistent rules, they understand better.

dinner:  i would change that to have dinner at the family table.   all kids would rather to something else (play) than eat.  so, not only does this ensure that he eats, but also it helps you bond with the family after a busy day.  it's relaxing and helps foster trust/conversation between everyone.   

bedtime:  bedtime is bedtime.  we have a few stories and that's it.  once it's time to go to bed, that's it - it's time to go to bed; no ifs ands or buts about it.  

the more consistent you are the better.  kids need rules and so do the parents so be consistent and he wil learn quickly.

also - positive reinforcement goes a long way.   when he does something well - even listening well or making good choices -- thank him and praise him verbally.  this way you are reinforcing the good behaviour to ensure that he repeats it.  positive reinforcement has worked wonderfully for my dd (4yo) and we hardly have to discipline her.  i get that kids will have their moments because they are kids but the more they udnerstand what good behaviour is, the more they are likely to repeat it, esp when they get praised by their parents.

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