Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

*Edit* Would this make you not want to pursue a friendship?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 42 Replies
I've been hanging out with my DH's friend's wife for a couple months now, we're not quite friends. Yet. She seems pretty cool, and you know that two weeks into their relationship, they got married. She has kids from her previous marriage, and has them every weekend.



Then you come to find out she doesn't have full custody of her kids because she used to be a drug addict. You find out because DH asked her and she told him, so he then told you.



How would you feel about it?



I honestly don't know how to feel about it, because she didn't tell me, she told DH.

Edit:

Thanks everyone for reminding me that people change and it's in her past. I'll let her know that she can count on me to be there for her. I won't ask her outright, just show her that I'll be her friend. The only reason I wasn't sure was because I've never known a drug addict.

Thanks again!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:10 PM
3 moms liked this
It's her past. If she has since changed and is in some way a part of her children's life, then why hold it against her? She's clean now right? You didn't know her then, base your budding friendship on the now not the then.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Thank you. I just wasn't sure, I was on the fence about it.

I was feeling terrible thinking of never talking to her.

She loves her kids and it shows. :)

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

It's her past. If she has since changed and is in some way a part of her children's life, then why hold it against her? She's clean now right? You didn't know her then, base your budding friendship on the now not the then.
RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Then that's all that is important. She was honest about her past, which is a good thing.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I just wasn't sure, I was on the fence about it.



I was feeling terrible thinking of never talking to her.



She loves her kids and it shows. :)



Quoting RaynesMommy07:

It's her past. If she has since changed and is in some way a part of her children's life, then why hold it against her? She's clean now right? You didn't know her then, base your budding friendship on the now not the then.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MaNdYbEaR2010
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:18 PM

She didn't tell you because you didn't ask*. If she's recovered, she may not want to uproot the kids from what they know. I'm hoping she's doing this because it's best for them. :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Yes. I'm going to call her and arrange a time to hang out.

I'm just a little wary, because I don't know how long ago this was and how long she's been clean and such.

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Then that's all that is important. She was honest about her past, which is a good thing.



Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I just wasn't sure, I was on the fence about it.





I was feeling terrible thinking of never talking to her.





She loves her kids and it shows. :)





Quoting RaynesMommy07:

It's her past. If she has since changed and is in some way a part of her children's life, then why hold it against her? She's clean now right? You didn't know her then, base your budding friendship on the now not the then.
AngeLnChainZ
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:18 PM

Its her past, and as long as she is making an effort now to be a different person I wouldn't see any problems with being her friend. Atleast she was open and honest about it. Also, keep in mind not all past addicts are bad people. Drugs can and do make people do horrible things, but that does not make them a bad person.

I volunteer to save lives; What do you do?

MaNdYbEaR2010
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:19 PM

Ask her. -shrugs- I'm nosey.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes. I'm going to call her and arrange a time to hang out.

I'm just a little wary, because I don't know how long ago this was and how long she's been clean and such.

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Then that's all that is important. She was honest about her past, which is a good thing.



Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I just wasn't sure, I was on the fence about it.





I was feeling terrible thinking of never talking to her.





She loves her kids and it shows. :)





Quoting RaynesMommy07:

It's her past. If she has since changed and is in some way a part of her children's life, then why hold it against her? She's clean now right? You didn't know her then, base your budding friendship on the now not the then.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Very true. I can't believe I forgot that. I'm feeling horrible about myself, but now I'm feeling better.

Quoting AngeLnChainZ:

Its her past, and as long as she is making an effort now to be a different person I wouldn't see any problems with being her friend. Atleast she was open and honest about it. Also, keep in mind not all past addicts are bad people. Drugs can and do make people do horrible things, but that does not make them a bad person.

NiCo86
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:20 PM
he was the one that asked
...

obviously she's realized her mistake and is working to better herself. she could probably use more straight laced friends. id continue to befriend her...
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
anitarichman
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:21 PM

 You didn't ask, your dh did. So yeah, I would be friends with her.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)