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How and when to tell a 4 year old her mother has died.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

A friend of mines has a daughter and her mother just passed away yesterday. and now the family is trying to find the right way and time to tell her.

Any advice.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hismommy2010
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:58 PM
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 Oh wow... I don't have any clue. I would talk to the childs doctor or ask for a therapist, they would have the best ways

madipayt
by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:00 PM
Theres not really a right time for that. Just tell her the truth & the longer they wait the harder it will be. I wouldnt go into graphic details if it was a murder or suicide til she's older to understand.
Good Luck & prayers!
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mackiebugsmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:00 PM
Get ahold of hospice, they helped my dd when my dad died. I'm so sorry for your loss..
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rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Waiting isn't going to help anything. How I don't know. If they're religious it would probably be easier but if not just tell them the truth mommy isn't going to come back because ________ (she got hurt she got sick etc) and she is no longer with us. If they are religious talk about how she's now in heaven or whatever and if not just try to be as honest as possible while being at the childs maturity level.

wicked_tink
by twinkie humper on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Omg :( Poor lil girl i am sorry for her loss op and i wish you guys the best with explaining such a tragic lose <3 

ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:02 PM

 wow... I have no idea. My dad died and my DD asks about him. I just explain that he was sickand went to heaven. She remembers him in the hospital. I didn't take them to the funeral because they were so little. I haven't really found a good way to explain it other then that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:03 PM

it happened yesterday so its still just sinking in with everyone. but i do think also that they should tell her soon.

Kimsd
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:03 PM
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I am confused, did the little girls mother or grandmother pass away? Either way I am so sorry for her loss.
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MedicMommy2
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:04 PM

Just out with it. I know it is in NO WAY the same but my parents were just killed in October and my kids were there all the time and had their own rooms and what not and we just spilled the beans. I am not religious my kids are somewhat so we talked to them about where they think people go when they pass and my oldest said to be in the sky. So we went from there. His god mother spoke with him a lot about it and they decided together that sometimes God or the powers that be need someone more than we do and they are going on to do bigger things. The biggest thing I have learned is that it is ok for them to see me cry and be upset, it was harder on them when I was trying to hide it because then they felt like they could not cry. Kids understand more than we give them credit for. My almost 3 year old dd understands the gist of what happened and talks about it.  They both went to the funeral.

 Wait was it the girls mother? The way it is worded I assumed it was the girls mother. Hmmm.....I am confused but my advise is the same.

SevenKisses
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:05 PM

That is so sad :(
I am thankful at the very least DS was much younger than 4 when it happened to him, so he wouldn't have a clue. At that age she certainly would know and need to know.

What happened? :( 

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