Okay, I'll try to make this short.
I live in Ohio. In Ohio, when the mother and father aren't married, the mother automatically gets full custody. I don't know if that's how it is everywhere or not.
Anyway, stepson(6) and stepdaughter's(4) mom has full custody. DH has no court appointed 'rights' but their mom and DH are good about setting up their own schedule and everything. DH and BM(birthmom) share 50/50 custody. DH does not pay child support. Because of this, BM does not supply us with anything for the kids. She doesn't send clothes, food, anything. When they are here we pay for everything they need and when they are with BM she supplies what they need. This is how it has been for 4 years. Works great for us. (Then, just to help out more, I also watch DD on BM's days while she works.) BM and DH split all sports and school fees, also.
The ONLY problem we have had with BM, is SS's teeth. We have tried making him dentist appointments, but BM just never follows through. DH will make the appointment, but she wont take him. She thinks he doesn't need to go. (SS has been in Preschool/school since he was 3, so he has to miss school to go.) I understand not wanting him to miss school, but the dentist is important!! We have tried making them for the time when DH has the kids, but normally they can't make an appointment until a few months away and it ends up being on a day BM has them.
Anyway, we FINALLY got SS into the dentist. They cleaned his teeth and he has another appointment tomorrow to see if they can fix his teeth and avoid pulling them. SS has a tooth that actually broke off and half of it is still stuck in his gums. :(
Hopefully they can avoid pulling them, the dentist said that he's going to try to avoid it.
Picture of SS's teeth in replies.
There are a few things I want to add.
SD is 4. Her teeth are NO WHERE near the condition that SS's are in. I think she has one cavity, but other than that her teeth look really good. I also have a daughter who is 2, and she has really good teeth also.
SS's teeth weren't THIS bad until a few months ago. They weren't perfect, don't get me wrong, but they all the sudden started turning black in front. That is when I had his pedi write a note saying he had to go.
SS had his dentist appointment this morning. The dentist told DH he was for sure taking out the broken tooth, but he wanted to fix the others. 20 minutes later the dentist comes out to tell us he pulled the broken tooth PLUS 2 more. He pulled a molar on each side on the top that we didn't even know were bad. I was so mad though because he wouldn't let anyone go back with SS and I know he was so nervous and scared. That was the first time he's ever got work done on his teeth. :(
The dentist said he'd see him again in 6 months. He said when he goes back in June if his 2 front teeth haven't fallen out then he wants to talk about pulling them. SS is doing fine now. His mouth is a little sore but he was able to eat some Romen for dinner.