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I feel so overwhelmed. Never get a break and feel angry at my husband a lot lately.

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:06 PM
  • 30 Replies

I am a mom to four girls (my stepdaughter is 9, my other daughters are 3, 2, and 1 years old). There is no financial support from my SD's BM, and my husband works constantly--which we need because we have this wonderful family. Did I mention I'm pregnant again? Don't worry, he's getting fixed since it seems birth control doesn't work on me. Anyway, I'm tired. I get up several times a night with our two youngest (one who is getting four teeth and the other who has started having nightmares). I wake up and get our 9 year old ready for school and drive her to school, which also requires hauling the other three out into the freezing cold every morning. My three and two year olds hate this. They wake up, get breakfast, get dressed and shoved into the van only to come home again. It starts them crying and fussing and it lasts sometimes for hours. Nothing I do makes them happy. I try to clean, because no one else in the house seems capable of it. My SD does have chores that she does either half-assed or forgets to do all together, even when reminded MULTIPLE times. My husband leaves for work most days between 2-4 in the morning and sometimes he won't get home until 6 or later. I don't actually expect him to do anything on the days he works, but he's been trying. He comes home and cooks dinner--on the nights that he gets home early enough to do so. He says cooking dinner helps him unwind from the day. I'm good with that.

On his days off though, I would love for him to help me out a little more. I try to let him sleep in, but to him that means sleeping until 11 or later. I've asked him to help me do some things around the house, like rearrange our bedroom. I'm on strict orders to not lift anything heavier than 25 pounds (weak cervix). My husband will say that he's going to help me out then he gets a "migraine" or "nauseous"...and ungrateful as it sounds he sounds like a whiney little woman!

He goes to bed early, because of course he has to get up early, and I don't blame him for that, but geez, I feel like I'm doing everything for our kids completely on my own! My SD has had a serious attitude lately and when I talk to him about it he says he'll talk to her and then he basically just says "You need to be nicer." Well, thanks, honey. I could have said that! She's not a bad kid, honestly, but she's constantly crying and it's like no matter what I say to her it hurts her feelings.

If he does help out he only picks up stuff in the living room, the kitchen can be a pig-sty and he won't touch a thing. He'll see a day old bottle from the baby and not even think to pick it up and rinse it out. He never puts his dirty laundry in the hamper (and for a while neither did my SD) so I went on a laundry strike with them. I decided I wasn't going to pick up their clothes for them. They're both old enough to know how to do it themselves. So when they ran out of clean clothes and started complaining, I told them that I wasn't the maid and they could pick up their clothes and put them in the hamper so that I don't have to hunt for the clothing when I'm doing laundry (along with the other 200 things I do). It got through to my SD, but my husband still doesn't!

We've talked about it before and somedays he will genuinely try to help me, but then he gets so mad he'll start barking orders at the kids and not feeling well, and he gets so angry and snappy with everyone. I don't even know if it's worth my time or energy to try to get him to do anything around the house. I am a stay at home mom, so I don't mind that the majority falls to me, but I really think it's just pathetic that I have to pick up the trash of a 32 year old man and a 9 year old girl because they just drop it where ever they happen to be. And how hard is it to rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher? At least my two and three year old will take their dishes to the sink. My husband and SD won't even do that!

I'm sorry about the rant. I'm just so tired of it all. We have great days...really we do, but I am just SO sick of them thinking of me as the freakin' slave to their every desire. My SD did come in and help me help her little sisters clean up their room before bed tonight. She's not a lost cause. I still have hope for her...it's mostly just my husband. He's an adult! Why is this so hard for him?

I'm sorry about the rant.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:07 AM

yeah my hubby is like that too sometimes so I tell him point blank that the less he does, the less I will do.  If he inconveniences me than I will inconvenience him.  Mine sort of need the kick in the pants to get things done and I have no problem strapping up my shoelaces and giving him the kick he needs.  his issue is he NEVER did any chores as a child, so really isnt used to it, so I have to remind him sometimes.

AF2011
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Write a novel why don't you!

LiDoMama
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:20 AM
Ugh I sympathize with you. I just had my third child and I'm overwhelmed as my dh works 6 nights a week. He also doesn't help as much as I wish he would. But my stress is no where to your level, im so sorry. You have to make taking care of yourself a priority...even if its just an hour sitting down while the kids watch a movie. Also, why can't the 9 y/o take a bus? Or is it possible to get her carpooled there? Also, do you think you could hire a teenager to come over and be a mother's helper maybe once a week? So you could rest or even maybe get some help around the house. I dont think it would cost much...maybe even a relative could do it? I know its all easier said than done. ((hugs))
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Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:22 AM
Have you talked to him about it?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:23 AM

Until he gets fixed use 3 forms of BC. Good grief.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:27 AM

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:28 AM
Why'd you read it? Or better yet, why didn't you just leave when you realised it was so long? Some people can be so fucking rude these days.


Quoting AF2011:

Write a novel why don't you!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:37 AM
Ugh I feel ya mama. I've posted on here before about how dumb it is that I have to pick up after my dh all the time, and how stupid it is that I have to pick up after a grown ass adult. Ughh..the laundry is a big problem. I hate hunting for his Damn laundry. It's literally everywhere. The den, under the couch, some in each bathroom and we have three, ugh, you name the room and her got clothes in it.
Nicky2911
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:41 AM

Quoting AF2011:

Write a novel why don't you!


Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:56 AM

Quoting Nicky2911:

Quoting AF2011:

Write a novel why don't you!



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