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If you want to adopt a child Update on the PAP

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 338 Replies
11 moms liked this

Please understand that the child is not yours until the mother's (or mother and father if the father is known) rights are terminated. The fact that a mother is talking to you or has even "selected" you does not make that child yours, she still has every right to change her mind before or after the birth. You have no right to be angry with her or to make her feel bad for choosing to keep HER child, it is not her fault you can't have a child of your own.

Sorry needed to vent. My cousin, who is also one of my best friends, just ha her baby. She was planning on putting her up for adoption but has changed her mind and is now keeping her. The people who she was planning on allowing to adopt her baby are now calling her saying that she needs to give them "their baby" and being really nasty to her. If they don't stop, she is going to tell the adoption agency and they will probably not work with them anymore.

Update

My cousin told the PAP that if they continued to try to call her, come to her home or contact her in anyway, she will be going to the agency (she has blocked their numbers on her phone but can't get her number switched so they can't call at all until next week). They know full and well that this kind of behavior can get them blacklisted with not only this agency but other ones as well. Today, they called her on what I guess was a borrowed phone and kept going on again about how she was stealing their baby and she better give her back and threatening her. She stopped answering and they ended up leaving a voicemail to the same effect. My cousin called the agency and, at their request, forwarded the voicemail as well as several nasty text messages from before. They didn't tell her what they were going to do, only that they would 'take care of it" because they "don't allow PAP to treat the moms with such disrespect". However, I pointed out that this may just make them more angry, which she agreed so she went to the police station with the voicemail and text messages and filed a restraining order for her and the baby against them

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
weezer_cookie
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:28 PM
*popcorn*
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LovelyMommy24
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Okay, great. Thanks. 

illinoismommy83
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:30 PM
14 moms liked this

Give your cousin lots of hugs. She will need support right now. Shame on those people for bullying her. She has every right to keep her baby. This is a pretty common occurrence sadly :(

Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:31 PM
34 moms liked this
You cousin should have to pay that family back for anything they bought for that baby. That is such a cruel thing to do to someone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:31 PM
8 moms liked this

I agree to a point. 

but a person has EVERY right to be angry when something like that happens. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:31 PM
6 moms liked this

Picking a family, communicating with them, and talking about it gives the family a pretty good idea that they will get said child. I agree that it's important to be guarded, but I wouldn't go as far to say they have no right to be angry. Everyone has a right to their feelings.

I don't agree with them calling her and saying nasty things, but your overall message is misguided and frankly callous.

LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:32 PM
2 moms liked this
I got tequila...now scoot your booty...I need room on the couch...

Quoting weezer_cookie:

*popcorn*
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Fields456
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this

My mom was a nervous wreck for the first 6 months after they adopted me because my bio parents could have. CHanged their mind in that time ( idk what it is now).    She said on that day she broke down with tears of joy

heartnhidin
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:33 PM
This.

Quoting illinoismommy83:

Give your cousin lots of hugs. She will need support right now. Shame on those people for bullying her. She has every right to keep her baby. This is a pretty common occurrence sadly :(

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:33 PM
14 moms liked this

Why? It's not like they gave her the baby stuff and they bought everything knowing full and well that she had every right to change her mind. There is nothing cruel about a mother wanting to keep her baby. It is sad that this couple can't have a child of their own but that does not obligate my cousin to give them her baby.

Quoting Elyce225:

You cousin should have to pay that family back for anything they bought for that baby. That is such a cruel thing to do to someone.


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