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"She'll corrupt our festivities with her Atheism non-sense!"

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My DH just walked downstairs and informed me that we needed to "adjust" our holiday plans. He seemed upset but today has been an odd day..

He had been on the phone to his brother who had informed him that I was not invited to the Christmas gathering, they are having at their house on Christmas eve because I have demons. What?

I have been to their traditional Christmas eve get together for the last five years and it is something DD, DH and I look forward to. It is always a lot of fun and we end up creating a lot of great memories. I thought his family liked me and it's disheartening to know they think I have "demons". Again, what?

They drink, they gamble, they curse BUT Sunday's they go to church and on Wednesdays they hold a Bible study. I am an Atheist, a fact I thought they knew many moons ago. But SIL has decided that having me there this year would corrupt their festive occasion because of my beliefs as an Atheist.

I normally would just say "fuck it, we won't go and will do our own thing" but this maybe DH's mother's last Christmas and I can't take spending it with her away. I know there are places for me and DD to spend Christmas but it breaks my heart to know I won't be spending it with my husband.

Should I call SIL up and ask her to meet with me to discuss the issue? Just let DH go and DD and I go elsewhere or make DH stay home with his family (DD and I)?

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Replies (181-183):
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 6:55 PM

OK.  I'm trying to think of how to make a long story short.  I'll say it like this.  There was a year that my entire family (meaning my mom and dad, myself, my children and husband) were not invited to my grandparent's house one mile away for Christmas.  I WAS my grandfather's last Christmas.  It was my dad's side of the family . . . his sister and brother.  Anyway, when it all fell out, after 30 years of my parents being married, they blamed my mom for whatever negative feelings they had which led to none of us being invited over.  It all broke really bad and in short my dad's response was basically my wife and I are one and if you can't invite all of us, none of us will have a relationship with you.  To this day I don't have much of a relationship with that aunt and uncle (my dad's sister) because of how awful they were to my mother.  And my mom had always been good to all of them.  I'm 35 years old and have my eyes open.  

In my opinion, your husband needs to deal with his family and let them know that you all are a package deal and especially more during major holidays.  

What crappy family members.  And I know.  I have some myself.

by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 7:05 PM

 im muslim and i do the dinner thing with my christian family. they do eid al fitr with us too!

power bitch slap internetMuslim Cat prays towards Mecca. LoL by: wirgylovesamletoandshayaprofessor cat. replySPOCK'S MILKSHAKE[]

by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 8:15 PM
Is your husband of the same belief system you are?
Quoting lindilouwho82:


Quoting KamWorthy:

Have there been issues in the past that they have had with you disrespecting their beliefs?

 No. Never and I was raised with more manners than to disrespect an individual in their own home. Common sense will tell anyone regardless of their beliefs that if they have been invited to another's house they should mind their manners as guest in their home would.

I have met a lot of Christian individuals in my community have past judgement against me for my beliefs, I belive this is just an extension of that issue.

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