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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm don't feel like I'm in love anymore

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I got married to my dh, who I've been with for 9 years, 6 months ago, and we've hit some rough patches in those 9 years, (not really the point) But what couple doesn't? For the past 2-3 months he's been treating me like a child, yelling at me, putting me down, not showing affection, then bitches when I don't want to have sex with him and I get more of an attitude from him. It honestly feels like I'm living in hell and I hate it. Our marriage feels like it's deteriorating and I don't know what to do, I don't want to leave him, but I can't deal with this anymore, it's hard to even talk to him because it turns into a yelling match where we both say something that will hurt the other. I know he won't do counseling, so that's out of the question. I'm just not sure anymore. I've thought about taking the kids and staying with my mom for a few days and see what happens. What would you do?  I don't need to be bashed, I just need some advice. 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AleaKat
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Work through it. There is something not being said and communication is key.
Sounds like there needs to be a sit down with the two of you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:33 PM

I've tried to sit down and talk with him, but he gets mad and turns it into something else then we will argue about that. That's why I said I can't even talk to him, I don't feel like arguing, I'm tired of it. I don't have the energy for it anymore. 

Quoting AleaKat:

Work through it. There is something not being said and communication is key.
Sounds like there needs to be a sit down with the two of you.


ff-princess
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:33 PM

even if he won't go to counseling with you, go to counseling alone *for* you.  it will also help your  marriage, because part of the issue is going to be how you react to him, and maybe learning some coping tools will be beneficial.  it will also help you to have a sounding board that's impartial, even just to get it all out of your system without having someone you know know all of your dirt.

AleaKat
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:35 PM
If he doesn't want to try to make it work or work with you on fixing things then I see no reason to stick around.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've tried to sit down and talk with him, but he gets mad and turns it into something else then we will argue about that. That's why I said I can't even talk to him, I don't feel like arguing, I'm tired of it. I don't have the energy for it anymore. 

Quoting AleaKat:

Work through it. There is something not being said and communication is key.

Sounds like there needs to be a sit down with the two of you.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:39 PM

I could do that, but what am I supposed to tell him about where or why I'm going? He only knows that I'm sick of the way he treats me, he doesn't know that I don't feel like I'm in love with him anymore, and I can't bring myself to even tell him that, I don't want to ruin the 9 years we have invested in each other and our family we created together. 

Quoting ff-princess:

even if he won't go to counseling with you, go to counseling alone *for* you.  it will also help your  marriage, because part of the issue is going to be how you react to him, and maybe learning some coping tools will be beneficial.  it will also help you to have a sounding board that's impartial, even just to get it all out of your system without having someone you know know all of your dirt.


hip2it
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:40 PM
The first two years of our marriage were terrible. We'd been together years before that and I was convinced I'd ruined our relationship with marriage. We just worked through it and something shifted. It's great now.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:41 PM
I sympathize for you. Here's a bump.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:44 PM

I don't want to just leave, I'm all he pretty much has. I make his dr appointments, fill out paperwork, take care of the kids, make dinner, do chores, I cyberschool the kids (he doesn't help with that either) I'm too overwhelmed with everything, I wanted to go back to school to become a cna but things are a little tough right now so I can't. I'd rather just try to suck it up and make our marriage work, maybe find other ways to bring those feelings I once had for him back. 

Quoting AleaKat:

If he doesn't want to try to make it work or work with you on fixing things then I see no reason to stick around.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've tried to sit down and talk with him, but he gets mad and turns it into something else then we will argue about that. That's why I said I can't even talk to him, I don't feel like arguing, I'm tired of it. I don't have the energy for it anymore. 

Quoting AleaKat:

Work through it. There is something not being said and communication is key.

Sounds like there needs to be a sit down with the two of you.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:45 PM

How did you work through it though?  

Quoting hip2it:

The first two years of our marriage were terrible. We'd been together years before that and I was convinced I'd ruined our relationship with marriage. We just worked through it and something shifted. It's great now.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:45 PM

thank you 

Quoting Anonymous:

I sympathize for you. Here's a bump.


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